on the lighter side, chamber of laughter is back.....

[Cerise]

Ahhh I thought I would donate a sing a long moment to the party

http://www.gotlaughs.com/funpages/bin2.cfm

Enjoy!

Originally posted by J.J.: The chamber of laughter is now open, post your best belly-busters or groaners here, or just read thru, political and deep thought not allowed unless you are making fun of it WORDS TO LIVE BY... sometimes you are sad....and no one sees your tears.... > sometimes you are happy....and no one sees your smile.... > but the times that you fart....trust me...people smell you -- _

[J.J.]

Originally posted by J.J.: this is especially appropriate for us 29 Reasons Why You Might Want To Sign Off and Read a Book. PART I 1. Tech support calls YOU for help. 2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control. 3. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs. 4. You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL. 5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes. 6. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL." 7. A friend calls and says, "How are you? Your phones have been busy" -- for a year! 8. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car. 9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out." 10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.

ok, here's the rest of the list


29 Reasons Why You Might Want To Sign Off and Read a Book. PART II

11. You've gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.

12. You say "he, he, he, he" or "heh, heh, heh" instead of laughing.

13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.

14. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.

15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.

16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.

17. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for a while.

18. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this...."BRB. Leave your S/N and I^ll TTYL ASAP".

19. You sit on AOL for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.

20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

21. You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......

22. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.

23. You think faster than the computer.

24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and **kisses**.

25. Being called a "newbie" is a major insult to you.

26. You're on the phone and say BRB.

27. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.

28. "Where did the time go?"

29. You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of- life!
allright now, I KNOW nobody at IW ever needed #29, right?




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Amanda's Dad-Best Damn Job, Period.

Official Pin-Up Girl Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.

[SSJ4Sephiroth]

these are apparantly real laws in England that are still in existance! well, most of them anyway...

With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday. (Repealed)

All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.

It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).

It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.

Chelsea Pensioner may not be impersonated.

A bed may not be hung out of a window.

It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.

Mince pies are not to be eaten on Christmas Day.

Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.

It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.

It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

If a steam locumotive is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passersby.

All steam locumotives are limited to 4mph on roads.

You may not make out in public.

It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime. (Repealed)

Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.


Chester
You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.
Hereford
You may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.

Liverpool


It is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.

London
Companies may vote in local elections.
York
Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow


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It's simple. Once the Planet is hurt, it gathers Spirit Energy to heal the injury. The amount of energy gathered depends on the size of the injury...What would happen if there was an injury that threatened the very life of the Planet? Think how much energy would be gathered! Ha, ha, ha. And at the center of that injury, wil be me. All that boundless energy will be mine. By merging with the energy of the Planet, I will be come a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet, I will cease to exist as I am now. Only to be reborn as a 'God' to rule over every living soul.


What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings now? Ha, ha, ha... Stop acting as if you're sad. And there's no need to act as if you're angry either. Because, Cloud, you are... a puppet.

Shadow Dragon of the DotW
Super Sephiroth, slayer of the Uber Fluffy, and battle co-ordionator and defender of the HADB clan.
Follower of the mighty Fallen Paladin himself.
Diplomacy is all and well, but HADB is better!
Head of the IronWorks Intelligence Division
Official Soup Server and bumper of Cloudy's Cafe
Possessor of the Aerie Diamond Head from the ALSB.
Page in the Court of Lady Lioness

Stalking the woodlands,
the Lioness in my sight,
warm feelings doth come,
into my lonely heart

[J.J.]

Want ad in the local paper:]
Puppies for sale - 1/2 cocker spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.


The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night.

"Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught young mother. "My child has swallowed a contraceptive." The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again.

"You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of relief. "My husband just found another one."



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Amanda's Dad-Best Damn Job, Period.

Official Pin-Up Girl Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.

[J.J.]

A teacher asks her students if they were Oakland Athletics fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.

"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"

"The New York Yankees."

"Why's that?"

"Well, my parents are both Yankee fans, so I'm a Yankee fan too."

"That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"

"No, that would make me an Athletics fan!"

.................................................. ........

I've been taking martial arts classes and they are great. It teaches you how to be as powerful as a tiger, as quick as a monkey, and as smart as a dragon. Just the other day, these guys came up to me with a knife and demanded some money. So, I turned into a chicken and ran!




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Amanda's Dad-Best Damn Job, Period.

Official Pin-Up Girl Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.

[J.J.]

The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his employees, Jenkins, to write him a punch, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.

"What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?", he demanded. "Half the audience walked out before I finished." Jenkins was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."

.................................................. ..


Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey, soccer, or any physical sport?"

"Not at all. I just play bridge with my wife."



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Amanda's Dad-Best Damn Job, Period.

Official Pin-Up Girl Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.

[Ronn_Bman]

Originally posted by DragonMage: OK. Here's something... I fully realize that I have not succeeded in answering all of your questions...Indeed, I feel I have not answered any of them completely. The answers I have found only serve to raise a whole new set of questions, which only lead to more problems, some of which we weren't even aware were problems. To sum it all up...In some ways I feel we are confused as ever, but I believe we are confused on a higher level, and about more important things.

I believe this is one of my old responses in the War Forum...lol



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"Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins."

[Ronn_Bman]

These are all great, but the best so far has to be J.J.'s chili cookoff.

I laughed until I cried! My co-workers still want to know what's wrong

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"Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins."

[J.J.]

Originally posted by Ronn_Bman: These are all great, but the best so far has to be J.J.'s chili cookoff. I laughed until I cried! My co-workers still want to know what's wrong

I wish I could claim sole credit for that gem, but it was actually Charean who originally gave us the chilli cook-off, and I did the same thing you did the first time I read it - laughed until I cried and was gasping for breath


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Amanda's Dad-Best Damn Job, Period.

Official Pin-Up Girl Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.

[J.J.]

A woman was shopping at her local grocery store, where she had selected
some milk, eggs, OJ and bacon.
As she was proceeding to go through the checkout, a drunk standing
behind her in line watched as she unloaded her items from her cart. "You
must besingle" the drunk man told her.
The woman, a bit startled, looked at her four grocery items on the
conveyor belt, and seeing nothing unusual about her selections said, "Well,
y'know, that's right. but how on earth could you of known that? The drunk
replied,

"Cause you're uglier 'n shit."


------------------
Amanda's Dad-Best Damn Job, Period.

Official Pin-Up Girl Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.