How would you respond to this?

[Attalus]

I have a picture of Galadria in my office. (Okay, several ) and people tell me all of the time how attractive she is. I am complimented when they do. When we first started going out, a friend who is a notorious "lady-killer." got me aside to tell me how pretty she was. I still remember that with pride.

[The Ornery One]

A lot of good advice from everyone! One other thing to keep in mind too. Make sure you give her just as many compliments as everyone else does. After hearing all his friends saying what they thought about me and my looks, and not hearing anything but insults from my husband, I decided I'd rather be with someone who appreciated me. You don't have to gush, just a few words here and there should do the job.

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

It depends how when and why they said it, usually I would feel complimented on having such an attractive partner.
Because we all know if a buddy is dating an unattractive girl and is serious about her, there is no way anyone I am going to tell him how unattractive she is, but if he is dating an attractive girl, its a compliment to tell him so.

[Yorick]

Originally posted by The Ornery One: After hearing all his friends saying what they thought about me and my looks, and not hearing anything but insults from my husband, I decided I'd rather be with someone who appreciated me.

And there you have it. Well well.

Clearly a problem has to exist within the relationship for a threat to occur from without. But if the friend of a couple sees this they should be very careful.

Ah the tangled web we weave.

THanks Ornery. And thanks again for insights all. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[homer]

The years of happy marriage I have enjoyed basically come down to one thing, trust. I trust my wife implicitly; therefore any compliment by another man only makes me happier that she is mine to love.

[Epona]

Yorick, I am a firm believer that problems for a couple do not originate from outside the relationship, but from within it. Existing problems can be highlighted by outside events and third parties, but are in no way the cause of those problems.

As you have seen from the responses on this thread, people with secure loving relationships based on trust take it as a compliment - people with existing problems can become insecure, or realise that better is to be had elsewhere.

If your friend felt insecure when you complimented his partner it is not your fault but a sign for him that he needs to look closely at his relationship, and either try to repair it in some way, or if that is not possible say goodbye, sad as that may be.

[Melusine]

Originally posted by The Hunter of Jahanna: Damn blue eyed,long haired rockstars with accents get all the girls!!!

Putting it that way, I can see why your friend felt threatened Hugh
Nah, I'm just kidding! I agree with what most people said here: there should be no threat at all in a compliment, and if it's perceived as one, the fault doesn't lie with you.
People have remarked before that my boyfriend looks nice (girls especially seem to like his hair ) and it only makes me proud of him. When I visited him in Stirling last year, some of his studymates (male and female) told him he had such a pretty g/f, and he didn't feel threatened either, more like flattered. He specifically told me about the compliments because he hoped I'd be happy, and I think I would pass on any compliments I heared about him too, since I'd know it would make him feel good about himself. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[John D Harris]

Originally posted by homer: The years of happy marriage I have enjoyed basically come down to one thing, trust. I trust my wife implicitly; therefore any compliment by another man only makes me happier that she is mine to love.

HERE HERE!! Trust is the key, Ceating is the easiest thing to do, all you (they) need is the time to do it. Now armed with that knowledge you can either become jealous over every little thing, or you can look you partner right in the eye and trust them. It's been my experiance trust builds relatioships, jelousy distroys, but hey, that's me and my wife.