Should I get involved with this or...

[Jorath Calar]

Okey guys, sorry I havn't been posting but this matter seems to have solved itself...rather tragically, But they broke up, (the couple, they were not married, had been together for 6 months), my friend called me and told me his girlfriend had told him it was over and apparently she also ended it with the cheater. she told her (ex)boyfriend about the whole thing and that she needed to go away and went to her home town this afternoon, he is absolutly shattered and I feel very sorry for him, he loves her so much and he actually told me that he felt responsible cause he hadn't been treating her like she deserved...(I mean that is no exscuse if you ask me). I'm going to see how he is doing tonight and if he asks me if I knew I'll tell him I did. otherwise I won't mention it. It may be cruel but I don't think he needs to know... not right now at least.

But thank you all for the replies, I wish I could have used any of the advices... [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Morgan_Corbesant]

i would pressure him to tell the mutual friend himself. having an affair says nothing good about him as it is, but if he tells your friend personally, it might be better. having you tell him may be bad, bad, bad. the one you tell could get mad at you for telling him (kindof a kill the messenger type scenario)and the one doing it will obviously be mad at you, though he may be happy too. he may be happy that it is finaly out in the open, and that he doesnt have to hide it. my former fiancee cheated on me with my best friend, so i know what it is like. he and i are NOT friends anymore. accually i found out while in japan. so when i got back to the states, i took leave, went home, beat the living piss out of him, called her a bunch of names that made her cry, and made her lose some friends too, and then proceeded to get hammered beyond reason.

its a bad scenario, no matter how you look at it. someone is going to get mad, much as i did. if you keep it in, you may lose both friends. one you will lose because you didnt tell him, and when that happens, you will blame the other one, and you will not talk to him again. i cant give good advice on this stuff, but my opinion is, that honesty may be the best policy, but some instances it may be uncalled for. i would personally try and get your friend to admit it, and see if they can work something out like men. maybe they can go to a boxing ring and fight out their frustration. i dont know, but you DONT want to be caught up in their little jerry springer episode.

thanx for your patience.

[Epona]

Originally posted by Jorath Calar: Okey guys, sorry I havn't been posting but this matter seems to have solved itself...rather tragically, But they broke up, (the couple, they were not married, had been together for 6 months), my friend called me and told me his girlfriend had told him it was over and apparently she also ended it with the cheater. she told her (ex)boyfriend about the whole thing and that she needed to go away and went to her home town this afternoon, he is absolutly shattered and I feel very sorry for him, he loves her so much and he actually told me that he felt responsible cause he hadn't been treating her like she deserved...(I mean that is no exscuse if you ask me). I'm going to see how he is doing tonight and if he asks me if I knew I'll tell him I did. otherwise I won't mention it. It may be cruel but I don't think he needs to know... not right now at least. But thank you all for the replies, I wish I could have used any of the advices... [img]smile.gif[/img]

Jorath, in this case, given that the 2 guys involved knew each other, I think that is probably the best outcome. Sad though, for all concerned

[johnny]

He may be hurt now, but it will pass. He's better off this way. He still needs to know about his other friend imo, it could easily happen again.

[Sir Kenyth]

Whew! Don't you love it when a plan comes together? [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Even if you didn't do anything.

I thought they were married. I must have misunderstood. Not being married or engaged makes a difference. That first level of committment is always kind of risky and the bond pretty fragile. Too bad he was so attached to her. Tell himm to go to "www.askmen.com". There's a lot of good advice there on how to read a girls interest in you so you don't chase after heartbreak unwittingly.