10-31-2001, 05:19 PM | #1 |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Dogs and Men
How Dogs Are Better Than Men Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. Dogs miss you when you're gone. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong. Dogs don't criticize your friends. Dogs admit when they're jealous. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out. Dogs do not play games with you - except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw). Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence. You can train a dog. Dogs are easy to buy for. You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.) Dogs understand what no means. Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner. Dogs admit it when they're lost. Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do. Dogs mean it when they kiss you. HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE Both take up too much space on the bed. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. Both are threatened by their own kind. Both mark their territory. Both are bad at asking you questions. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches. Neither does any dishes. Both pass gas shamelessly. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. Both like dominance games. Both are suspicious of the postman. Neither knows how to talk on the telephone. Neither understands what you see in cats. HOW MEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS Men only have two feet that track in mud. Men can buy you presents. Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block. Men are a little bit more subtle. Dogs have dog breath all the time. Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it. And the number one reason dogs fall short... It's fun to dry off a wet man! (If you're a woman that is!) ------------------ Avast There mates..make yer way here and drop yer anchor. We'll swap some lies and have a Black Jack o' ale. [img]http://photos.msn.com/ImageServer/Image.aspx?Image=0h9xCkj4Yyo6VbTdcNrmhglJSkAWB6C9t TOROQgn3fkyYtQWT3Eo5!RPgsmdH04n21ZwArZk8VKBbX7q5c5 lh23jcuzjC4vocaQon2R**tBX0hngEwtOVHHj6OKZ0rh88XD71 vZnc3mLWF6Mw5RgJlGRrW4g0*paUjrmYDwYo15UXRaQbSHBupT kwDp*1sihKI5KQfFzBJxw!gXksOi7t3lD!ZTBlxa9qvi9gay*w w9qx0D!4Zab7O9X9f8yCidhW!JhfKwTjmW9vKtQUaPtdZBAU6v MyvQ6O3gsKR11htpXuzFv!SOAoeeWWyhXiM5nk*x3EBn6RBuzi 80lKL1VXIMZ2dOvOZLQ[/img] |
10-31-2001, 05:46 PM | #2 |
Account deleted by Request
Join Date: May 17, 2001
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My fear of vacuum cleaning is NOT irrational! That thing is out to get me! It's true!
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10-31-2001, 06:08 PM | #3 | |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Quote:
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10-31-2001, 06:11 PM | #4 |
Vampire
Join Date: April 28, 2001
Location: Cambridge
Age: 41
Posts: 3,877
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soon to start:
" why cats are better than women " |
10-31-2001, 07:00 PM | #5 | |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
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