I have this joke

[Dragonshadow]

Three blondes walked into a bar.
You'd've though one of them would have seen it.

A big chimmney says to a baby chimney :"You're too young to smoke".

What's purple and shouts "help help!"?
A damson in distress.


Yes, I had an awful joke telling teacher for two years.

[Sythe]

Where is Arvon he should be here he tells the best jokes.

[Sir Goulum]

Well, heres mine!

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch" [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Heres one that a flight attendant told us when I was coming back from Ottawa:

What do you call a chicken coop with 4 doors?
A chicken sedan! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

[Faceman]

okay here come the infamous elephant jokes
The worst jokes ever!!!


How many elephants fit into a Volkswagen Beetle?
-
4 - 2 in front 2 in the back


How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
-
Open fridge door - put elephant in - close fridge door


How do you know there's been an elephant in your fridge?
-
footprints in the butter


Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
-
So they can hide better in a cherry tree


Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
-
No
-
Remarkable hiding skills!


How does an elephant get down from the cherry tree again?
-
He sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.


an last but not least:
What's that grey powder? - Instant Elephant

[Cristian]

be vewy quite i'm hunting wabbits [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Masklinn]

Originally posted by Faceman: okay here come the infamous elephant jokes The worst jokes ever!!! How many elephants fit into a Volkswagen Beetle? - 4 - 2 in front 2 in the back How do you get an elephant into the fridge? - Open fridge door - put elephant in - close fridge door How do you know there's been an elephant in your fridge? - footprints in the butter Why do elephants paint their toenails red? - So they can hide better in a cherry tree Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? - No - Remarkable hiding skills! How does an elephant get down from the cherry tree again? - He sits on a leaf and waits for autumn. an last but not least: What's that grey powder? - Instant Elephant

Aaah Faceman ! You forgot some there !

How do you get a giraffe into the fridge ?
Open fridge door - get the elephant out - pute giraffe in - close fridge door

How can you tell that elephants went to swimming pool ?
The Volkswagen Beetle is parked in front of it.

The lion calls all the animals with his special cry. They all come but one. Which one ?
The Giraffe, because he's stuck in the fridge.


Hrhrhr
Enjoy...

[BaRoN NiGhT]

Originally posted by Xen: Where do you get this things guys? Here is mine: Why does a chicken goes over the street?Becuase he wants to come on the other side of the street....haha

mwahahaha...nice xen, really nice [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

--------------------

[Faceman]

Originally posted by Xen: Where do you get this things guys? Here is mine: Why does a chicken goes over the street?Becuase he wants to come on the other side of the street....haha

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Albert Einstein : Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your point of view. The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Stephen Jay Gould: It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behaviour, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviours that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.

Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.

Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Jean-Paul Sartre : In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Nietzsche : Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Immanuel Kant : The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

Captain James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Louis Farrakhan: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken `crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, ``Thou shalt cross the road.'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

Richard Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Oliver Stone: The question is not, ``Why did the chicken cross the road?'' Rather, it is, ``Who was crossing the road at the sametime, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?''

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

C++ Programmer: chicken->CrossRoad() was called from chicken->GetOtherSide()

Andersen Consulting: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting ,in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

[Xen]

HAHA! [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img]

ROFLMAO,LMAO,LOL!... [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img]


This cracked me up!

Yup maddox is where i got the joke but i doubt the is anymore of this kind...although hope there is....