Cat Commandments

Aviehenda · 10-10-2002, 12:59 PM

Cat Commandments

Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.

Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent.

Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.

Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.

Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

Thou shall show remorse when being scolded.

Too bad cats can't read eh...

Megabot · 10-10-2002, 01:03 PM

Cool cat i would kill it!

Ar-Cunin · 10-10-2002, 02:24 PM

[img]graemlins/choc3.gif[/img] - nuff said

Night Stalker · 10-10-2002, 02:38 PM

ROTFLMFAO!!! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Be wary though ..... thou may hast offended the [img]graemlins/choc.gif[/img]

Pennance might be demanded ....

[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

RevRuby · 10-10-2002, 02:52 PM

how about "thou shall not crawl into guest's hand bags"

our cat is obsessed with boxes and bags, so he does this often

Aviehenda · 10-10-2002, 02:52 PM

Didn't mean to offend the cat [img]graemlins/blueblink.gif[/img]
I love cats [img]smile.gif[/img]

ROTFLMFAO??

Quote:

Originally posted by RevRuby:
how about "thou shall not crawl into guest's hand bags"

our cat is obsessed with boxes and bags, so he does this often

Cats can be strange [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 10-10-2002, 02:59 PM: Message edited by: Aviehenda ]

Horatio · 10-10-2002, 03:06 PM

lol, that's why I don't like cats.

DragonMage · 10-10-2002, 07:27 PM

OMG!!!! LMAO!!!!

Especially the 4am Bladder Bounce!!!

My cat Maerlynn does this almost every morning!!!!

LennonCook · 10-10-2002, 07:34 PM

Just goes to show, rules are all made to be broken

The Ornery One · 10-10-2002, 07:36 PM

Here's a few to add to the list: Thou shalt not saunter back and forth next the thy nieghbor's fence and aggitate the dogs. (Maggie's favorite)
Thou shalt remove thy body from the driveway when company arrives. (Roscoe's favorite)
Thou shalt not dig up the garden and play with the flower bulbs. (Jaguar's favorite)

10-10-2002, 02:24 PM	#3
Ar-Cunin Ra Join Date: August 14, 2001 Location: Copenhagen, Denmark Age: 53 Posts: 2,326	[img]graemlins/choc3.gif[/img] - nuff said __________________ Life is a laugh <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[biglaugh]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/biglaugh.gif\" /> - and DEATH is the final joke <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[hehe]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/hehe.gif\" />

10-10-2002, 02:38 PM	#4
Night Stalker Lord Ao Join Date: June 24, 2002 Location: Nevernever Land Age: 50 Posts: 2,002	ROTFLMFAO!!! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] Be wary though ..... thou may hast offended the [img]graemlins/choc.gif[/img] Pennance might be demanded .... [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] __________________ [url]\"http://www.duryea.org/pinky/gurkin.wav\" target=\"_blank\">AYPWIP?</a> .... <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[1ponder]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/1ponder.gif\" /> <br />\"I think so Brain, but isn\'t a cucumber that small called a gherkin?\"<br /><br />Shut UP! Pinky!

10-10-2002, 02:52 PM	#5
RevRuby Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Limbo Age: 45 Posts: 1,720	how about "thou shall not crawl into guest's hand bags" our cat is obsessed with boxes and bags, so he does this often __________________ peek-a-boo

10-10-2002, 03:06 PM	#7
Horatio Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 19, 2001 Location: Behind these metal bars Age: 42 Posts: 3,117	lol, that's why I don't like cats. __________________ I <b>am</b> the party!!<br /> [img]\"http://zert0.net/iuti/img2/1381585-vi.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

10-10-2002, 07:27 PM	#8
DragonMage 20th Level Warrior Join Date: September 6, 2001 Location: The lighter side of life, a.k.a. Newnan, Georgia Age: 56 Posts: 2,767	OMG!!!! LMAO!!!! Especially the 4am Bladder Bounce!!! My cat Maerlynn does this almost every morning!!!! __________________ [img]\"http://home.earthlink.net/~moraine_sedai/_uimages/dragonmage.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> [img]\"ubb/noncgi/smiles/hero2.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> <br />Alureth...Dragon friend of Lady Breanna<br /><br />Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan.<br />Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force<br />Mother Hen of IW and Mage extraordinaire.<br /><br />Utterly in love with my soul mate, Hiram.

10-10-2002, 12:59 PM	#1
Aviehenda Dungeon Master Join Date: September 21, 2002 Location: Norway Age: 42 Posts: 58	Cat Commandments Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem. Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll. Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent. Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator. Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt. Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face. Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region. Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors. Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it. Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself. Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down. Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m. Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity. Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow. Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house. Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat. Thou shall show remorse when being scolded. Too bad cats can't read eh...

10-10-2002, 01:03 PM	#2
Megabot Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: October 18, 2003 Location: Oslo, Norway. Age: 62 Posts: 3,360	Cool cat i would kill it!

10-10-2002, 07:34 PM	#9
LennonCook Jack Burton Join Date: November 10, 2001 Location: Bathurst & Orange, in constant flux Age: 38 Posts: 5,452	Just goes to show, rules are all made to be broken

10-10-2002, 07:36 PM	#10
The Ornery One Drow Warrior Join Date: May 17, 2002 Location: S. IL Age: 49 Posts: 269	Here's a few to add to the list: Thou shalt not saunter back and forth next the thy nieghbor's fence and aggitate the dogs. (Maggie's favorite) Thou shalt remove thy body from the driveway when company arrives. (Roscoe's favorite) Thou shalt not dig up the garden and play with the flower bulbs. (Jaguar's favorite) __________________ I like to wonder.<br />And when I wonder<br />My mind wanders.<br />And when it wanders,<br />I have to wonder;<br />When will it ever come back?!?

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