Family Humor - Page 2

Moiraine · 10-03-2002, 06:25 AM

Are parents allowed to be cats too ? [img]smile.gif[/img]

LennonCook · 10-03-2002, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moiraine:
Are parents allowed to be cats too ? [img]smile.gif[/img]

Nope [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Zarr · 10-03-2002, 09:28 AM

Lol that was pretty funny

Warhammer · 10-03-2002, 09:36 AM

(I posted this half a year ago in the books/movie forum, deserves a repost IMO)

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were
talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows on my PC, I told
him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows
CD. Too my astonishment and distress he threw it into my micro-wave oven
and turned it on. I was upset because the CD had become precious to me,
but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.' After a few minutes he took
the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.' To my
surprise the CD was quite cold and it seemed to have become thicker and
heavier than before.

At first I could not see anything, but on the inner
edge of the central hole I saw a inscription, in lines finer than anything
I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet
remote, as if out of a great depth:

4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C20 4F6E65204F5320746F
2066696E64207468656D2C0D0A4F6E65204F5320746F206272 696E67207468656D20
616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062 696E64207468656D

'I cannot read the fiery letters,' I said.
'No,' he said, 'but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but
the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in
common English this is what it says:'One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Charean · 10-03-2002, 12:57 PM

Warhammer - most excellent. [insert evil laugh here]

Charean · 10-03-2002, 01:25 PM

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.

"All right, son," asked the father, "what does that show you?"

"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."
************************************************** *******************

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.

"Davy, what noise does a cow make?"

"It goes moo."

"Alice, what noise does a cat make?"

"It goes meow."

"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"

"It goes baaa."

"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"

"Errr.., it goes.. click!"
************************************************** *******************

On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments.

Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's got the remote?"

Charean · 10-03-2002, 03:41 PM

New Dictionary:

Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray'-ter\ : A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's

Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl' \ : What a bullfighter tries to do

Baloney \buh-lo'-nee' \ : Where some hemlines fall

Bernadette \burn'-a-det' \ : The act of torching a mortgage

Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize' \ : What a crook sees with

Control \kon'-trol\ : A short, ugly inmate

Counterfeiters \kown'-ter-fit'-ers\ : Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

Eclipse \ee-klips' \ : What a Cockney barber does for a living

Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\ : A clumsy ophthalmologist

Heroes \hee-rhos' \ : What a guy in a boat does

Left Bank \left' bangk' \ : What the robber did when his bag was full of loot

Misty \mis-tee' \ : How golfers create divots

Paradox \par'-u-doks' \ : Two physicians

Parasites \par'-ih-sites' \: What you see from the top of the EiffelTower

Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist \ : A helper on the farm

Polarize \po'-lur-ize' \ : What penguins see with

Primate \pri'-mate' \ : Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

Relief \ree-leef' \ : What trees do in the spring

Selfish \sel'-fish' \ : What the owner of a seafood store does

Subdued \sub-dood' \ : Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man

Sudafed \sood'-a-fed' \ : Brought litigation against a government official

edin gal · 10-04-2002, 11:04 AM

Very good, kept me infront of my pc for a good half hour.

10-03-2002, 06:25 AM	#11
Moiraine Anubis Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps Age: 61 Posts: 2,474	Are parents allowed to be cats too ? [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ [img]\"http://grumble.free.fr/img/romuald.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br />The missing link between ape and man is us.

10-03-2002, 09:28 AM	#13
Zarr Symbol of Cyric Join Date: June 19, 2002 Location: Northern Ireland Age: 41 Posts: 1,330	Lol that was pretty funny __________________ Minsc - \"Don\'t ask questions better left to aged sages\"<br /><br />\"You must gather your party before venturing forth\". BANG shoots him dead

10-03-2002, 09:36 AM	#14
Warhammer Baaz Draconian Join Date: December 4, 2001 Location: Denmark Age: 52 Posts: 731	(I posted this half a year ago in the books/movie forum, deserves a repost IMO) Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows CD. Too my astonishment and distress he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned it on. I was upset because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.' After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold and it seemed to have become thicker and heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw a inscription, in lines finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth: 4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C20 4F6E65204F5320746F 2066696E64207468656D2C0D0A4F6E65204F5320746F206272 696E67207468656D20 616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062 696E64207468656D 'I cannot read the fiery letters,' I said. 'No,' he said, 'but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:'One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. __________________ It was a new day yesterday<br />but it\'s an old day now.<br /><i>Jethro Tull</i><br />

10-03-2002, 12:57 PM	#15
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 61 Posts: 2,201	Warhammer - most excellent. [insert evil laugh here] __________________ And then there were 6.

10-03-2002, 01:25 PM	#16
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 61 Posts: 2,201	A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died. "All right, son," asked the father, "what does that show you?" "Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms." ************************************************ *************** A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. "Davy, what noise does a cow make?" "It goes moo." "Alice, what noise does a cat make?" "It goes meow." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" "It goes baaa." "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" "Errr.., it goes.. click!" ********************************************** ***************** On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's got the remote?" __________________ And then there were 6.

10-03-2002, 03:41 PM	#17
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 61 Posts: 2,201	New Dictionary: Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray'-ter\ : A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl' \ : What a bullfighter tries to do Baloney \buh-lo'-nee' \ : Where some hemlines fall Bernadette \burn'-a-det' \ : The act of torching a mortgage Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize' \ : What a crook sees with Control \kon'-trol\ : A short, ugly inmate Counterfeiters \kown'-ter-fit'-ers\ : Workers who put together kitchen cabinets Eclipse \ee-klips' \ : What a Cockney barber does for a living Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\ : A clumsy ophthalmologist Heroes \hee-rhos' \ : What a guy in a boat does Left Bank \left' bangk' \ : What the robber did when his bag was full of loot Misty \mis-tee' \ : How golfers create divots Paradox \par'-u-doks' \ : Two physicians Parasites \par'-ih-sites' \: What you see from the top of the EiffelTower Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist \ : A helper on the farm Polarize \po'-lur-ize' \ : What penguins see with Primate \pri'-mate' \ : Removing your spouse from in front of the TV Relief \ree-leef' \ : What trees do in the spring Selfish \sel'-fish' \ : What the owner of a seafood store does Subdued \sub-dood' \ : Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man Sudafed \sood'-a-fed' \ : Brought litigation against a government official __________________ And then there were 6.

10-04-2002, 11:04 AM	#18
edin gal Dungeon Master Join Date: August 19, 2002 Location: scotland Age: 61 Posts: 82	Very good, kept me infront of my pc for a good half hour.

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