12 Reasons why Gay people should not be allowed to get married.

[Dave_the_quack]

I thought this provided some retorts to the usual "reasons why Gay people should not be allowed to get married" in a humourous fashion, no less.

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12 reasons why gay people should not be allowed to get married.

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America/Australia/Wherever.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or a longer lifespan.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

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[Timber Loftis]

Ummm.... Howsabout 13?

# 13: Gay marriages must be outlawed because the last thing we need is rainbow decoration everywhere we turn, and what are men doing cooking and desinging homes anyway?

[Illumina Drathiran'ar]

My professor brought out an old favorite today... What do the following have in common?

Child molesters
Corporate criminals
Rapists
Serial killers

If they are heterosexual, they can get married. There's no justice in that.

I seriously wish that he'd go on tours, speaking... I don't know what's stronger, his passion or his clarity. He's able to lay things right there on the table for someone... He has a gift.

By the way, who saw Rick "Compared Homosexuality To Bestiality And Now Has Something Disgusting Named After Him" Santorum on The Daily Show? That was a shock, to say the least... He did a great job of not offending anyone directly at that moment. Fantastic.

[Aerich]

Of course, the bit that isn't so funny is that the first part of most of those are honestly put forward by opponents of gay marriage. [img]graemlins/rollsay.gif[/img] The "it's unnatural/a sin/socially destructive" argument is one that's nearly impossible to change minds about.

If divorce hasn't destroyed the "institution of marriage", gay marriage certainly won't manage it. Statistically speaking it's several times more likely that any given individual will be divorced, never mind gay, never mind gay and married.

[Timber Loftis]

Originally posted by Illumina Drathiran'ar: My professor brought out an old favorite today... What do the following have in common? Child molesters Corporate criminals Rapists Serial killers If they are heterosexual, they can get married. There's no justice in that.

Tell your professor that Timber thinks he's an idiot, because he merely replaced one morality (gays shouldn't marry) with another (criminals shouldn't marry). What kind of lesson is he trying to teach there?

[Illumina Drathiran'ar]

Originally posted by Timber Loftis: quote: Originally posted by Illumina Drathiran'ar: My professor brought out an old favorite today... What do the following have in common? Child molesters Corporate criminals Rapists Serial killers If they are heterosexual, they can get married. There's no justice in that.

Tell your professor that Timber thinks he's an idiot, because he merely replaced one morality (gays shouldn't marry) with another (criminals shouldn't marry). What kind of lesson is he trying to teach there? [/QUOTE]He's just pointing out how inconsistent society's view of "morality" is. He didn't say criminals shouldn't marry, but who's more destructive to society?

[Timber Loftis]

Destructive to society?

How destructive is AIDS?

How destructive is the dissolution of the nuclear family?

How destructive is the abandonment of morality?

[Aerich]

Bah.

AIDS is not a gay disease.

The dissolution of the nuclear family has happened already, what with divorce and working women.

Whose morality are we talking about? Bigots or liberal idealists who look upon substantive equality as a right?

I believe the above professor's point is not that criminals should not be allowed to marry, but that criminals retain that privilege while gays are denied it (in certain countries).

Stop yanking our chains, Timber.

[Azred]

How about those of us who think that gay marriage is a non issue?

If marriage is allowed between any two consenting adults then nothing will change in this country whatsoever.

[Grojlach]

Originally posted by Azred: How about those of us who think that gay marriage is a non issue? If marriage is allowed between any two consenting adults then nothing will change in this country whatsoever.

Well, I for one would love to see the effect it would have on Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson and the rest of their ilk.