Pun Alert!

Arvon · 06-15-2005, 06:54 AM

Hard Man to Catch

A man enters a pharmacy and requested a supply of Viarga. The clerk sends him over to speak with the pharmacist. The pharmacist tells the man he would need a Doctor's prescription in order for her to dispense the drug.

The man, seemingly pacified, leaves.... and returns with a gun. He pulled a hand gun and demanded Viagra again. The pharmacist gave him four full bottles and two partial bottles, then the man fled.

The police sergeant who was first on the scene pondered,"This makes me wonder. Do we look for a hardened criminal?

__________________________________________________ ________________________

Big Boy

There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what's wrong? The head nurse replied, "We don't know what to do with this baby boy."

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "Well it's obvious that you should put him into a mental institution."

"Why," asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."

[ 06-15-2005, 07:07 AM: Message edited by: Arvon ]

mad=dog · 06-15-2005, 06:59 AM

I certainly hope the police aren't soft on him. There is plenty of hard evidence.

Aragorn1 · 06-15-2005, 07:09 AM

A dwarf and a giant robbed a bank. Police are looking high and low for the suspects.

TiliaLyn · 06-15-2005, 07:32 AM

Two men walked into a bar, the third guy ducked.

Lavindathar · 06-15-2005, 07:44 AM

A dyslexic dwarf started a food fight at the dinner table. His mother told him that he's not big and he's not clever.

Not dissing dyslexic people in anyway, as everyone knows it doesnt have any bearing on someones intelligence!!

Callum · 06-15-2005, 07:49 AM

I don;t get the last one...

Lavindathar · 06-15-2005, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Callum:
I don;t get the last one...

How can you not get it? I know it's not very good, but it's an age old one.

Callum · 06-15-2005, 08:45 AM

Maybe I just don't know all the symptoms of dyslexia... *shrugs* [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Morgeruat · 06-15-2005, 08:58 AM

Dyslexics untie!

Aragorn1 · 06-15-2005, 09:10 AM

A police man saw two men, one drinking battery acid, the other eating fireworks. One man was charged, the other let off.

Eight expensive Rolex watches were stolen from a jewelers.
Police are looking for a punctual octopus.

A very large hole appeared in the High Street.
Police are looking into it.

A lorry load of wigs was stolen overnight
Police are combing the area.

A toilet was stolen from the police station.
The Detectives have nothing to go on.

[ 06-15-2005, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: Aragorn1 ]

06-15-2005, 06:54 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Hard Man to Catch A man enters a pharmacy and requested a supply of Viarga. The clerk sends him over to speak with the pharmacist. The pharmacist tells the man he would need a Doctor's prescription in order for her to dispense the drug. The man, seemingly pacified, leaves.... and returns with a gun. He pulled a hand gun and demanded Viagra again. The pharmacist gave him four full bottles and two partial bottles, then the man fled. The police sergeant who was first on the scene pondered,"This makes me wonder. Do we look for a hardened criminal? __________________________________________________ ________________________ Big Boy There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what's wrong? The head nurse replied, "We don't know what to do with this baby boy." So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "Well it's obvious that you should put him into a mental institution." "Why," asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts." [ 06-15-2005, 07:07 AM: Message edited by: Arvon ] __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

06-15-2005, 06:59 AM	#2
mad=dog Avatar Join Date: April 18, 2004 Location: Copenhagen Age: 49 Posts: 549	I certainly hope the police aren't soft on him. There is plenty of hard evidence. __________________ [url]\"http://www.dsr.kvl.dk/~maddog/isur.jpg\" target=\"_blank\">Ooooookay. I surrender.</a><br />Sometimes I get the eerie feeling that my computer is operating me and not the other way around.

06-15-2005, 07:44 AM	#5
Lavindathar Harper Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Lancs, England Age: 40 Posts: 4,729	A dyslexic dwarf started a food fight at the dinner table. His mother told him that he's not big and he's not clever. Not dissing dyslexic people in anyway, as everyone knows it doesnt have any bearing on someones intelligence!! __________________ =@

06-15-2005, 07:49 AM	#6
Callum Symbol of Cyric Join Date: October 21, 2004 Location: Vancouver, BC Age: 36 Posts: 1,143	I don;t get the last one... __________________ [img]\"http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/4763/callumavataranimated4ff.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

06-15-2005, 08:45 AM	#8
Callum Symbol of Cyric Join Date: October 21, 2004 Location: Vancouver, BC Age: 36 Posts: 1,143	Maybe I just don't know all the symptoms of dyslexia... shrugs [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ [img]\"http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/4763/callumavataranimated4ff.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

06-15-2005, 07:09 AM	#3
Aragorn1 Symbol of Cyric Join Date: July 3, 2001 Location: Cornwall England Age: 38 Posts: 1,197	A dwarf and a giant robbed a bank. Police are looking high and low for the suspects.

06-15-2005, 07:32 AM	#4
TiliaLyn Dungeon Master Join Date: May 31, 2005 Location: Maine Age: 58 Posts: 87	Two men walked into a bar, the third guy ducked.

06-15-2005, 08:58 AM	#9
Morgeruat Jack Burton Join Date: October 16, 2001 Location: PA Age: 45 Posts: 5,421	Dyslexics untie!

06-15-2005, 09:10 AM	#10
Aragorn1 Symbol of Cyric Join Date: July 3, 2001 Location: Cornwall England Age: 38 Posts: 1,197	A police man saw two men, one drinking battery acid, the other eating fireworks. One man was charged, the other let off. Eight expensive Rolex watches were stolen from a jewelers. Police are looking for a punctual octopus. A very large hole appeared in the High Street. Police are looking into it. A lorry load of wigs was stolen overnight Police are combing the area. A toilet was stolen from the police station. The Detectives have nothing to go on. [ 06-15-2005, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: Aragorn1 ]

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