Help Needed

Northraven · 04-24-2005, 08:51 PM

I just want to get some advice/opinions from people who read this forum. I feel kinda embarrassed asking this as it makes me feel like I'm 15 again but keep in mind that I've been in a "serious" relationship (which now seems to be ending, but that is another story) for quite a long time and so I'm really rusty when it comes to reading members of the opposite sex...

I just started a new job and there is an attractive girl about my own age who works there with me. Since we work mostly the same hours we chat a lot about everyday things and we get along well. When I first started there a few weeks ago I got the feeling, just an intuition really, that she was checking me out. Aside from that nothing goes on between us that could be described as serious flirting.

Then last night myself, this girl and a bunch of other co-workers needed to attend a meeting with one of our distributors. This distributor supplies Mens skin and personal care products among other things. When we get up into our meeting room, which is filled with leather couches and has plenty of room to spread out, this girl sits herself down next to me and while the distribution rep is giving her spiel she keeps leaning in and sharing little asides with me. Then the Distributor passes around a sample bottle of one of their male scents and, being curious I decide to spritz my wrist just to see what it smells like on me. Being a clutz with spray bottles I manage to squirt out a huge shower of mist, drenching my arm in the stuff and my co-worker holds out her wrist and proceeds to rub the excess off onto her.

Now I am confused, I am definately not a touchy-feely person, I don't touch anyone beyond a handshake except a girlfriend and this girl at work dosen't seem to be one of those always-has-to-be-touching people either. How many people think she was blatently flirting with me? I may not be totally on my game when it comes to flirting anymore but my intuitions about people are usually right on the money. I guess I just don't trust myself right now because of all the turmoil going on in my personal life. I just wanted some other opinions on what could be going on to feel confident navigating the waters at work more than anything else. Any help/advice would be great as I'm having enough girl problems as it is [img]smile.gif[/img]

johnny · 04-24-2005, 08:56 PM

I don't really see what the problem is ?

Bungleau · 04-24-2005, 09:46 PM

Boy... I really hate trying to figure that stuff out. That's why I got married [img]smile.gif[/img]

However, you're faced with wondering if she's sending signals, or simply that kind of nice person who was trying to help take the sting out of your blunder. There are some of those out there... I've seen 'em

It also sounds like there's a fair amount of other turmoil going on in your life. Good news is that's normal; only dead people live without problems

So... what to do? It sure sounds like a signal, but it really sucks to read them wrong. I would conveniently come up with something non-threatening that's not a date, but time away from work. Something like "Hey, my brother sent me this gift card for a coffee shop. Wanna help me use it up before/after work?" Not long enough to be a date, but something outside of work that puts you together.

Or maybe buck up the courage and ask her for a date; that gift card is now for a restaurant. Talk, smile, laugh, commiserate... whatever it takes. You'll see more signals, hopefully, and that will make life much easier.

Good luck, amigo. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Variol (Farseer) Elmwood · 04-25-2005, 06:06 AM

Ahh, she's probably gay and thinks of you as one of the guys. That's why she put the male cologne on herself. Bumber that.

Edit: I meant "gay"

[ 04-26-2005, 05:55 AM: Message edited by: Variol (Farseer) Elmwood ]

Link · 04-25-2005, 06:24 AM

Until you really have a good clue of what's going on, don't judge your hunches. Usually you twist and turn everything into a better perspective when you're in love. Even the slightest hint of attention from her to you usually resolves in you having the day of your life.

I've been there, mate. Just keep your feet on the ground until you know for sure. Good luck!

Kakero · 04-25-2005, 08:36 AM

Ah yes, the girl starts to become friendly. The guy starts to get the wrong signal.

Patience is virtue. You don't want to make a wrong move. Just because she's being friendly doesn't mean that she likes you. Just observe her until you really know what's going on.

burnzey boi · 04-25-2005, 08:43 AM

go for gold! what? why are you looking at me like that? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Link · 04-25-2005, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by burnzey boi:
go for gold! what? why are you looking at me like that? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Now you're the one to blame if things go wrong or get out of hand! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

*grabs a pitchfork and lights his torch*

RevRuby · 04-25-2005, 09:17 AM

first of all- resolve the serious-relationship-that-looks-like-it's-ending issue, then worry about the co-worker.

that's my advice

Mellagar · 04-25-2005, 01:20 PM

At least she didn't smack you on the back of the head for being an utter clutz.

04-24-2005, 08:51 PM	#1
Northraven Manshoon Join Date: July 13, 2001 Location: Currently a land called Weyrth... Age: 46 Posts: 195	I just want to get some advice/opinions from people who read this forum. I feel kinda embarrassed asking this as it makes me feel like I'm 15 again but keep in mind that I've been in a "serious" relationship (which now seems to be ending, but that is another story) for quite a long time and so I'm really rusty when it comes to reading members of the opposite sex... I just started a new job and there is an attractive girl about my own age who works there with me. Since we work mostly the same hours we chat a lot about everyday things and we get along well. When I first started there a few weeks ago I got the feeling, just an intuition really, that she was checking me out. Aside from that nothing goes on between us that could be described as serious flirting. Then last night myself, this girl and a bunch of other co-workers needed to attend a meeting with one of our distributors. This distributor supplies Mens skin and personal care products among other things. When we get up into our meeting room, which is filled with leather couches and has plenty of room to spread out, this girl sits herself down next to me and while the distribution rep is giving her spiel she keeps leaning in and sharing little asides with me. Then the Distributor passes around a sample bottle of one of their male scents and, being curious I decide to spritz my wrist just to see what it smells like on me. Being a clutz with spray bottles I manage to squirt out a huge shower of mist, drenching my arm in the stuff and my co-worker holds out her wrist and proceeds to rub the excess off onto her. Now I am confused, I am definately not a touchy-feely person, I don't touch anyone beyond a handshake except a girlfriend and this girl at work dosen't seem to be one of those always-has-to-be-touching people either. How many people think she was blatently flirting with me? I may not be totally on my game when it comes to flirting anymore but my intuitions about people are usually right on the money. I guess I just don't trust myself right now because of all the turmoil going on in my personal life. I just wanted some other opinions on what could be going on to feel confident navigating the waters at work more than anything else. Any help/advice would be great as I'm having enough girl problems as it is [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ \"Before the world was bent but after the great contagion, there was a civilization built in the image of the First Age. It sought to emulate the splendor of the bygone Golden Age, but it was in all ways less. It was a time of sorcery and heroism, of fabulous wonders and treacherous betrayals. Ruled by a decadent empire, it slipped inch by inch into barbarism and darkness, until one last cataclysm blotted it out forever. Yet, in it\'s sunset, it was a splendid thing, and glorious were the deeds of the Exalted.\"<br /><br />[url]\"http://www.sloganizer.net/en/\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style7,Severed-spc-Fist.png\" alt=\" - \" /></a>

04-24-2005, 08:56 PM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 59 Posts: 16,981	I don't really see what the problem is ? __________________

04-24-2005, 09:46 PM	#3
Bungleau 40th Level Warrior Join Date: October 29, 2001 Location: Western Wilds of Michigan Posts: 11,752	Boy... I really hate trying to figure that stuff out. That's why I got married [img]smile.gif[/img] However, you're faced with wondering if she's sending signals, or simply that kind of nice person who was trying to help take the sting out of your blunder. There are some of those out there... I've seen 'em It also sounds like there's a fair amount of other turmoil going on in your life. Good news is that's normal; only dead people live without problems So... what to do? It sure sounds like a signal, but it really sucks to read them wrong. I would conveniently come up with something non-threatening that's not a date, but time away from work. Something like "Hey, my brother sent me this gift card for a coffee shop. Wanna help me use it up before/after work?" Not long enough to be a date, but something outside of work that puts you together. Or maybe buck up the courage and ask her for a date; that gift card is now for a restaurant. Talk, smile, laugh, commiserate... whatever it takes. You'll see more signals, hopefully, and that will make life much easier. Good luck, amigo. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] __________________ B Save Early, Save Often Save Before, Save After Two-Star General, Spelling Soldiers -+-+-+ Give 'em a hug one more time. It might be the last.

04-25-2005, 06:06 AM	#4
Variol (Farseer) Elmwood Jack Burton Join Date: May 16, 2003 Location: Dartmouth, NS Canada Age: 59 Posts: 5,634	Ahh, she's probably gay and thinks of you as one of the guys. That's why she put the male cologne on herself. Bumber that. Edit: I meant "gay" [ 04-26-2005, 05:55 AM: Message edited by: Variol (Farseer) Elmwood ] __________________ A MAN WHO WANTS FOR NOTHING HAS INFINITE WEALTH. (me)

04-25-2005, 06:24 AM	#5
Link Jack Burton Join Date: May 15, 2001 Location: The Netherlands Age: 40 Posts: 5,888	Until you really have a good clue of what's going on, don't judge your hunches. Usually you twist and turn everything into a better perspective when you're in love. Even the slightest hint of attention from her to you usually resolves in you having the day of your life. I've been there, mate. Just keep your feet on the ground until you know for sure. Good luck! __________________ Rowing is not a sport, it's a way of life Goal: Beijing 2008

04-25-2005, 08:36 AM	#6
Kakero 40th Level Warrior Join Date: March 24, 2002 Posts: 10,215	Ah yes, the girl starts to become friendly. The guy starts to get the wrong signal. Patience is virtue. You don't want to make a wrong move. Just because she's being friendly doesn't mean that she likes you. Just observe her until you really know what's going on.

04-25-2005, 08:43 AM	#7
burnzey boi Red Wizard of Thay Join Date: September 14, 2004 Location: Western Australia Age: 34 Posts: 800	go for gold! what? why are you looking at me like that? [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ burnzey - The Australian kiss, like a French kiss, but down under (Main)Undead Mage - 70, Orc Warrior - 70, Blood Elf Paladin - 70, Orc Shaman - 70, Troll Rogue - 70, Orc Hunter - 65, UD Warlock 61, BE Priest 60, Tauren Drood - 60 OM NOM NOM NOM

04-25-2005, 09:17 AM	#9
RevRuby Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Limbo Age: 45 Posts: 1,720	first of all- resolve the serious-relationship-that-looks-like-it's-ending issue, then worry about the co-worker. that's my advice __________________ peek-a-boo

04-25-2005, 01:20 PM	#10
Mellagar Avatar Join Date: June 16, 2001 Location: Far from where I was, nearer where I wish. Age: 42 Posts: 563	At least she didn't smack you on the back of the head for being an utter clutz.

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