solving problems and taking care of stress

[RevRuby]

well i have complained much of a woman in my life, whom i am glad to say i stood my ground this weekend, and hopefully she will cease to drive me insane.

4 out of the 5 work days of last week i was driving her around. in her husbands car, but it is still a 4-5 mile trip to her house. all in all i drove 32-40 to and from her home in my car last week, and simply asked for $5 gas money in compensation. her husband refused to pay! which i found out last night as she shows up at my door to ask for me to drive her again this week. i had already decided that i will no longer be her taxi, and i am so proud of myself because even in the face of her tears i stood my ground.

this sounds cruel, except that i have my own life and the fact that my house was a wreck this weekend, bacause i had little chance to keep it clean, makes me feel as a traitor to my family. also removing the toddler car seat from my car and putting it back in once a day took a toll on the tightness of the belt, and left me retightening by myself in the back of my tiny car. i am not a tiny woman. also this woman only seems to know how to take and take and take, and ask for more! sometimes not even asking, just assuming that i have the time and the will to do for her.

oh yeh the reason her dh hardly does naything for her is because he works out of state all week. she has no license, and absolutely no responsibility or desire to help herself. she asked me how it is she is to find a job without me to drive her around. i told her flat out it is not my problem. her dh makes more than mine and they pay less rent, as well as being paid once a week, we are only paid once a month. they would not be in such financial problems if they simply worked harder to budget. she does not need a job, and i doubt she could keep any she did acquire.

either way hopefully now i will have more time to spend spamming here in gd....umm..not spamming no. i will not make any horribly disgusting attempts to raise my post count. indeed i have yet to care how small it is, why should i start now??? oh yeh cause i have nothing better to do!

oh and um....i used the abbreviation "dh" which means dear husband and used widely on my baby boards. which this was actually a copy and paste from, as i do have a child to care for, and not enough time to re-type all of it.

please know simply that i hope to be able to spend more time here lurking and enjoying myself rather than stressing over her.

Well all i have to say is congrats and you should feel no remorse at all. This person is a capable adult who needs to get her priorities in order. If she is desperate for a job, she should be checking newspapers. As for not having her license, I've no clue why she doesn't have one. She could probably call the ppl up and make an appointment, and have someone drive her (not you, she's probably taken 20 yrs off ur life). Seriously, she has to realize how to manage her time, money, and be independant. She can't just spend her whole life mooching off of ppl.

good job anyways

[RevRuby]

thank you for the support. i have been shouting my joy of freedom all day long!

[wellard]

People like that are totally dependant on other people, calling them leeches is maybe to strong but they sure annoy the hell out of me!

Good on you Rev Ruby Your young family needs all the time you can give, as well as some time out for yourself. If they where true friends they would know this.

[Granamere]

This may just be me but when she gets a job how is she going to get there? Did she really think you were going to spend the rest of your life taking her to and from work? I just can not believe some people.

Hey maybe she could get a job delivering newspapers. That way you could get up before the crack of dawn to drive her around and all she would have to do is toss out newspapers! [img]smile.gif[/img]

Granamere

[ 09-15-2003, 06:22 PM: Message edited by: Granamere ]

[mistral4543]

I think you've already been very generous with your help, RevRuby. I'm not sure if I would have reached out that far to this lady friend of yours.

I'm glad that you've stood up for yourself and definitely support your decision. It is about time that she realises that no one has an obligation to help her except herself (and possibly her husband); she should not be using guilt manipulation on you.

[RevRuby]

Originally posted by Granamere: Hey maybe she could get a job delivering newspapers. That way you could get up before the crack of dawn to drive her around and all she would have to do is toss out newspapers! [img]smile.gif[/img] Granamere

i already had to disuade her from a babysitting job that would have had me up before my husband, even when he was in the army!

i do not know if she expected me to drive her the rest of her life, but i told her several times that i have stopped helping others because of the drain their dependence put on me. she was forewarned and did not heed it.

beyond the fact that nathan beleives she is completely daft, saying the rudest things without realizing how terrible it was to say. also she used most of his phone card (i bought it for him to call his friends, 2,500 miles away) on a local call! he is happy i stood my ground. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Personally, just to get this person on her feet, tell her off. Go up to her and tell her she needs to get organized, call up the DMV to arrange some form of an appointment for driving, find a decent paying job that she can actually do, and figure out what is necessary in life and what isn't. She shouldn't be spending her paycheck of $130.00 on clothes unless she absolutely needs them. And finally tell her to stop relying on people, because eventually they will get fed up and then she won't be able to get anything.

Or tell her to get a bike, make her actually work to go places.

She certainly deserves what she is getting, and I truly hope she doesn't go to someone else and that person caves.

Good job Rev, seriously, this person needs help, and a life. And if she is knocking on your door and keeps nagging, do what my parents do to door-to-door telemarketers; open the door and tell them to F*c* off, or just walk right by the door but make sure they are aware of your presence, that really gets the message straight through thick skull.

[Gangrell]

Well, it seems to me like this particular person would rather have things handed to her rather than work for it herself. If her husband makes so much, she herself should be able to hold a descent enough job, and being an adult, why wouldn't she have her license by now? I have a reason, simply because I do not have a car and there aren't many jobs that pay good for a teenager around here.

That's part of moving from the house, getting married and the like is about, taking care of your own and having that responsibility.

If she asks for a ride again, do simply as such. Strap her to a big rocket and light the fuse, works in the cartoons you know [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Ps- Who are you talking about? [img]graemlins/1ponder.gif[/img]

[Granamere]

Originally posted by RevRuby: quote: Originally posted by Granamere: Hey maybe she could get a job delivering newspapers. That way you could get up before the crack of dawn to drive her around and all she would have to do is toss out newspapers! [img]smile.gif[/img] Granamere

i already had to disuade her from a babysitting job that would have had me up before my husband, even when he was in the army!

i do not know if she expected me to drive her the rest of her life, but i told her several times that i have stopped helping others because of the drain their dependence put on me. she was forewarned and did not heed it.

beyond the fact that nathan beleives she is completely daft, saying the rudest things without realizing how terrible it was to say. also she used most of his phone card (i bought it for him to call his friends, 2,500 miles away) on a local call! he is happy i stood my ground. [img]smile.gif[/img] [/QUOTE]All I can say is [img]graemlins/jawdrop.gif[/img] !


I was just kidding. I did not think there was anyway in the world she would go that far! It just goes to prove me wrong about people yet again. On the your husband calling his friends thing you might want to check out www.theneighborhood.com it is a very good calling plan if you can get it in your area. If you are in the US. No I do not work for MCI I just know a good deal when I see it. Ask Larry_OHF. He is a mod here and I told him about it. Basically it is 50ish dollars a month and it is your local phone plus free long distance inside the US. They also have some sort of deal to Europe and Canada.

Granamere

[ 09-15-2003, 10:10 PM: Message edited by: Granamere ]