Ways to keep a good life

SomeGuy · 06-17-2003, 10:07 PM

Here are some ways to keep a good and healthy life. Make sure to practice these weekly. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Don't use any punctuation marks.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won! third time this week!!!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

[ 06-17-2003, 10:07 PM: Message edited by: SomeGuy ]

Reeka · 06-17-2003, 10:55 PM

I wish I had the guts to do even half of those things.

Harkoliar · 06-17-2003, 11:49 PM

haha.. in doing your "Ways to keep a good life list".. will give you a good life in the mental hospital, jail, heaven or comedy show host

Kakero · 06-18-2003, 05:48 AM

Man, if I do that, people will look at me with strange eyes. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

06-17-2003, 10:07 PM	#1
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 34 Posts: 4,238	Here are some ways to keep a good and healthy life. Make sure to practice these weekly. [img]tongue.gif[/img] At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in". Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors". Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." Don't use any punctuation marks. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won! third time this week!!!!!" When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!" Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." [ 06-17-2003, 10:07 PM: Message edited by: SomeGuy ] __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

06-17-2003, 10:55 PM	#2
Reeka Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: March 2, 2001 Location: Birmingham, Alabama, USA Age: 71 Posts: 3,255	I wish I had the guts to do even half of those things. __________________ <b>Order of the Holy Flame</b><br /><i>Member of Clan HADB</i><br /><b>Laughing Hyena</b><br /><i>Clan Liaison, IW Peace Keeping Force</i><br /><i>[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com/Forum/index.php?board=29\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River VoiceChat!</a><br />Last Saturday of every month. <br />See the forum link for scheduling!<br /><b> </b><br /></i><br /><b>Admin and Co-Owner of [url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River</a></b><br />[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\"></a>

06-17-2003, 11:49 PM	#3
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 42 Posts: 5,556	haha.. in doing your "Ways to keep a good life list".. will give you a good life in the mental hospital, jail, heaven or comedy show host __________________ Catch me if you can..

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06-18-2003, 05:48 AM	#4
Kakero 40th Level Warrior Join Date: March 24, 2002 Posts: 10,215	Man, if I do that, people will look at me with strange eyes. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

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