Quotes from famous people on drinking.

Arvon · 11-30-2002, 03:14 PM

I was in GOOGLE searching for something else and ran across this: (Very long)

Famous and Infamous Drinking Quotes
Collected from various internet sources, including email sigs and Daniel Huckaby of tamu.edu .

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ... Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. ... William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. ... For Whom the Bell Tolls
Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ... Ernest Hemingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. ... Dean Martin

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness or as good as drink. ... G.K. Chesterton

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. ... Catherine Zandonella

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. ... Ambrose Bierce

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. ... W.C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. ... W.C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ... W.C. Fields

I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.
... Lady Astor, Social reformer
Who wouldn't? ... A voice from the crowd

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
... Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. ... Winston Churchill's reply

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. ... David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. ... Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ... Henny Youngman

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. ... Tom Waits

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven... ... Brian O'Rourke

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ... Dave Barry's Bad Habits

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. ... Postpetroleum Guzzler
Dave Barry

Adhere to the Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat. ... David Geary

you don't like jail?
naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in there. ... Charles Bukowski

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. ... Deep Thought, Jack Handy

One more drink and I'd be under the host. ... Dorothy Parker

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow. ... Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. ... Dave Barry

My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time. ... A Wolverine is Eating My Leg

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. ... Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. ... David Moulton

A drink a day keeps the shrink away. ... Edward Abbey

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. ... Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Put it back in the horse! ... H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30s-'50s, after he drank his first American beer at a bar.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline--it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. ... Frank Zappa

They proceed with the speed of rockets to the northeast corner of the universe, which George percieved to be shaped exactly like a pint of beer, in which the nebulae were the ascending bubbles. ... John Collier, The Devil, George, and Rosie

A *good* beer is one that sells! You may think it sucks but if the market embraces it, so be it. Now a *great* beer or world class beer is another matter.... ... Jim Busch

I am the first man south of the Mason-Dixon line to brew a drinkable home-brew. ... H.L. Mencken, in "Heathen Days"

American Beer is a lot like making love in a row boat- It's f__king close to water! ... Monty Python's Eric Idle

Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime! ... Bill Owen

Okay, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. Let's just
take this exam so I can get back to killing you with beer. ... Homer Simpson

They can have my beer when they pry it out of my cold, dead hand. ... Ben Schwalb

I have never been into wine. I'm a beer man. What I like about beer is you basically just drink it and order more. You don't sniff at it, or hold it up to the light and slosh it around, or drone on and on about it, the way people do with wine. Your beer drinker tends to be a straightforward, decent, friendly, down-to-earth person, whereas your serious wine fancier tends to be an insufferable snot. ... Dave Barry

The hardest part about making beer is siphoning it into bottles. This is tricky, because what can happen is the phone rings and you get involved in a lengthy conversation during which your 4 year-old son gets hold of the hose and spews premature beer, called "wort", all over the kitchen and himself, and you become the target of an investigation by child welfare authorities because yours is the only child who comes to preschool smelling like a fraternity carpet. ... Dave Barry

DO RE MI DRINK
------------------------------------------
DOUGH... the stuff... that buys me beer
RAY... the guy that sells me beer
ME... the one... who drinks the beer
FAR... a long run to get beer
SO... I'll have another beer
LA... I'll have another beer
TEA... no, thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to (looks into empty glass) D'OH! ... Homer Simpson's beer song

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following quotes appear to be anonymous:

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

It's better to have beer in hand than gas in tank.

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore

Beer is the reason I get up every afternoon.

Beer: Nature's laxative.

Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother!

Beer is good food.

Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.

If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing...

Draft beer, not people!

My favorite black-and-tan is a "mother-in-law": a mixture of stout and bitter.

If I saved all the money I've spent on beer, I'd spend it on beer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ 11-30-2002, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: Arvon ]

johnny · 11-30-2002, 03:31 PM

Those are all very smart people.

Ronn_Bman · 11-30-2002, 03:41 PM

How did I know johnny would like this one?

My favorite, "Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime!"

Iron_Ranger · 11-30-2002, 03:54 PM

What on earth were you searching for on google?

11-30-2002, 03:58 PM

Geez you got every famous person in the last century in their. And Homers beer song. A classic piece of work. [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/homer.gif[/img]

johnny · 11-30-2002, 04:23 PM

That's why they got famous in the first place, because they drank.

11-30-2002, 04:29 PM

Journalist: Mr Clinton how did you become president, after everyone thought you where going to lose?
Bill Clinton: Well I spent a night in the Bar and a woke married and President of the United States.
Journalist: That prooves how easy it is to brcome president here.
Bill Clinton: I love America!
Slizerio: HEEHHEEHHEEHHEE [img]graemlins/2gunfire.gif[/img]
*Kills Clinton and Journalist*

Attalus · 11-30-2002, 04:32 PM

"They left out: "Nine Scotches in a row. I believe that is quite a record." Dylan Thomas' last words.

"I should never have switched from Scotch ot martinis." Humphrey Bogart's last words.

Ar-Cunin · 11-30-2002, 04:32 PM

"All this beer will be my ruin ..... ehhh urin"

Can't remember who said it.

11-30-2002, 04:35 PM

If the Lord of Alchol was here... We'd be hering quotes all night long

11-30-2002, 03:14 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	I was in GOOGLE searching for something else and ran across this: (Very long) Famous and Infamous Drinking Quotes Collected from various internet sources, including email sigs and Daniel Huckaby of tamu.edu . I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ... Frank Sinatra The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. ... William Butler Yeats An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. ... For Whom the Bell Tolls Ernest Hemingway Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ... Ernest Hemingway You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. ... Dean Martin No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness or as good as drink. ... G.K. Chesterton Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. ... Catherine Zandonella Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. ... Ambrose Bierce I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. ... W.C. Fields A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. ... W.C. Fields What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ... W.C. Fields I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer. ... Lady Astor, Social reformer Who wouldn't? ... A voice from the crowd Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. ... Lady Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. ... Winston Churchill's reply If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. ... David Daye Work is the curse of the drinking classes. ... Oscar Wilde When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ... Henny Youngman I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. ... Tom Waits When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven... ... Brian O'Rourke Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ... Dave Barry's Bad Habits When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. ... Postpetroleum Guzzler Dave Barry Adhere to the Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat. ... David Geary you don't like jail? naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in there. ... Charles Bukowski If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. ... Deep Thought, Jack Handy One more drink and I'd be under the host. ... Dorothy Parker All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow. ... Dave Barry Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. ... Dave Barry My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time. ... A Wolverine is Eating My Leg The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. ... Humphrey Bogart Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. ... David Moulton A drink a day keeps the shrink away. ... Edward Abbey People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. ... Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI Put it back in the horse! ... H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30s-'50s, after he drank his first American beer at a bar. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline--it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. ... Frank Zappa They proceed with the speed of rockets to the northeast corner of the universe, which George percieved to be shaped exactly like a pint of beer, in which the nebulae were the ascending bubbles. ... John Collier, The Devil, George, and Rosie A good beer is one that sells! You may think it sucks but if the market embraces it, so be it. Now a great beer or world class beer is another matter.... ... Jim Busch I am the first man south of the Mason-Dixon line to brew a drinkable home-brew. ... H.L. Mencken, in "Heathen Days" American Beer is a lot like making love in a row boat- It's f__king close to water! ... Monty Python's Eric Idle Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime! ... Bill Owen Okay, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. Let's just take this exam so I can get back to killing you with beer. ... Homer Simpson They can have my beer when they pry it out of my cold, dead hand. ... Ben Schwalb I have never been into wine. I'm a beer man. What I like about beer is you basically just drink it and order more. You don't sniff at it, or hold it up to the light and slosh it around, or drone on and on about it, the way people do with wine. Your beer drinker tends to be a straightforward, decent, friendly, down-to-earth person, whereas your serious wine fancier tends to be an insufferable snot. ... Dave Barry The hardest part about making beer is siphoning it into bottles. This is tricky, because what can happen is the phone rings and you get involved in a lengthy conversation during which your 4 year-old son gets hold of the hose and spews premature beer, called "wort", all over the kitchen and himself, and you become the target of an investigation by child welfare authorities because yours is the only child who comes to preschool smelling like a fraternity carpet. ... Dave Barry DO RE MI DRINK ------------------------------------------ DOUGH... the stuff... that buys me beer RAY... the guy that sells me beer ME... the one... who drinks the beer FAR... a long run to get beer SO... I'll have another beer LA... I'll have another beer TEA... no, thanks, I'm drinking beer That will bring us back to (looks into empty glass) D'OH! ... Homer Simpson's beer song -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The following quotes appear to be anonymous: Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? It's better to have beer in hand than gas in tank. Life is too short to drink cheap beer. Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore Beer is the reason I get up every afternoon. Beer: Nature's laxative. Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother! Beer is good food. Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer. If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing... Draft beer, not people! My favorite black-and-tan is a "mother-in-law": a mixture of stout and bitter. If I saved all the money I've spent on beer, I'd spend it on beer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ 11-30-2002, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: Arvon ] __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

11-30-2002, 03:31 PM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 59 Posts: 16,981	Those are all very smart people. __________________

11-30-2002, 03:41 PM	#3
Ronn_Bman Zartan Join Date: March 11, 2001 Location: North Carolina USA Age: 58 Posts: 5,177	How did I know johnny would like this one? My favorite, "Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime!" __________________ [img]\"http://home.carolina.rr.com/orthanc/pics/Spinning%20Hammer%20Sig%20Pic.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

11-30-2002, 03:54 PM	#4
Iron_Ranger Symbol of Cyric Join Date: August 18, 2002 Location: Where Eagles Dare Age: 37 Posts: 1,391	What on earth were you searching for on google? __________________ <br />[url]\"http://www.bratgirlcentral.com/cgi-bin/ouapforum/ikonboard/ikonboard.cgi\" target=\"_blank\">Once Upon A Paper</a><br />Living on a razors edge<br />Balancing on ledge<br />Living on a razors edge

11-30-2002, 04:23 PM	#6
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 59 Posts: 16,981	That's why they got famous in the first place, because they drank. __________________

11-30-2002, 03:58 PM	#5
Slizerio Guest Posts: n/a	Geez you got every famous person in the last century in their. And Homers beer song. A classic piece of work. [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/homer.gif[/img]

11-30-2002, 04:29 PM	#7
Slizerio Guest Posts: n/a	Journalist: Mr Clinton how did you become president, after everyone thought you where going to lose? Bill Clinton: Well I spent a night in the Bar and a woke married and President of the United States. Journalist: That prooves how easy it is to brcome president here. Bill Clinton: I love America! Slizerio: HEEHHEEHHEEHHEE [img]graemlins/2gunfire.gif[/img] Kills Clinton and Journalist

11-30-2002, 04:32 PM	#8
Attalus Symbol of Bane Join Date: November 26, 2001 Location: Texas Age: 76 Posts: 8,167	"They left out: "Nine Scotches in a row. I believe that is quite a record." Dylan Thomas' last words. "I should never have switched from Scotch ot martinis." Humphrey Bogart's last words. __________________ Even Heroes sometimes fail...

11-30-2002, 04:32 PM	#9
Ar-Cunin Ra Join Date: August 14, 2001 Location: Copenhagen, Denmark Age: 53 Posts: 2,326	"All this beer will be my ruin ..... ehhh urin" Can't remember who said it. __________________ Life is a laugh <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[biglaugh]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/biglaugh.gif\" /> - and DEATH is the final joke <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[hehe]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/hehe.gif\" />

11-30-2002, 04:35 PM	#10
Slizerio Guest Posts: n/a	If the Lord of Alchol was here... We'd be hering quotes all night long

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