Ever wondered why Nessy is so mean?

[Jerome]

I refuse to apologise for my rhyming: I was bored today. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
- and any conclusions drawn about Cloudy's cooking, or Nessy's singing are purely a product of your own imagination and nothing to do with me at all. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

The Tale Of Nessy's Demon

May here the Muses grant me strength
And for this tale's entire length,
Give me power o'er words divine
To tell this humble tale of mine.

This story that I, myself, relates
Involves but two colling fates:
One of light, and purest good
A child from heaven's teeming brood,
The other deeper, darker still,
That shrieks loudly with cries so shrill.

And So i'll begin my account,
At the foot of a hilly mount.
In a village, by the valleys,
Just beyond the streets and alleys,
On the outskirts, in a cottage,
By the fire heating pottage,
Our comely angel quietly sat,
With her baseball glove, and bat.
Nicknamed "Nessy" by some cheeky lips,
A product of her Furry Hips.
Upon her shoulders, golden hair rested,
(such beauty i've yet to see bested),
Simple clothes sought to hid her frame,
The curvaceous body of our dame,
And bright green eyes, like the sun at play,
Shone more brightly than the clearest day.

Now while our angel tossed her ball,
(Contemplating sending it though the wall),
She turned her beauteous voice to singing,
Filling all the world with ringing.
(Here my narrative ignores the lass's,
Breaking of windows and antique glasses).

Now, normally, her home was void,
Free of people who could get annoyed,
At all her long and awful wailing,
And her "dancing" (chaotic flailing).
But today, by untimely chance,
Her piercing song and her dance,
Was heard by a shadow - who, like a ghost,
Had no need for human host.
This shadow was a demon, true,
Long disposed from the body she knew,
Who had long walked in search of a home,
For her to end her wandering roam.

Upon hearing this unwholly din,
(remember, she knew all the depths of sin),
The demon called out happily with glee!
Her hopes rising with the thought of being free.

"All this noise!
All this prattle!
Surely now, I can poise,
To steal the most wretched of these human cattle!"

Thus the monster to herself cried,
And to the window ran, and quickly spied,
Our angel finishing her little tune,
To which our villian was immune.

And so she cried out in delight,
Once her eyes had feasted on the sight:

"Only an angel, thus I know,
Could such wonderous beauty refine,
No longer shall she stand on display,
But swiftly I shall make her mine!"

And thus the demon's scheme was hatched,
Though the windows were bolted and the door latched,
But like a mist, she did not care,
For what are doors and walls to a breath of air?
So through the cracks she floated in,
And her face distorted to an evil grin,
And her shape began to alter,
Her apperance began to falter,
And what then happened, I confess:
She assumed the shape of a lioness.

Our angel - intelligent yes - but still naive,
Simply could not her danger concieve,
And treated the spirit like a guest,
With all the charm that she posses't.
(details of her charms are for the sequal,
but suffice to say: she has no equal).

"Who's this stranger in my home,
Who hides in shadow and shuns the light?
It surely can't be you Jerome,
For one thing; it's too polite.

And it cannot be my spelling teacher,
For all short words in T beginning,
No, it must be some poor creature,
Who came to me 'pon, hearing my singing."

No acknowlegement did she recieve in turn,
For the spirit let her evil burn,
And lept into the angel's heart,
Intent or tearing her goodness apart.

But the monster had misjudged her foe,
Past her pretty figure, it could not know,
There stood a will which never shaked,
Tougher than the cookies in the cafe she baked.
(And truely this is saying something,
For many patrons have felt the sting,
Of their own teeth shattering to bits,
When on the iron-like surface their jaw hits.
At least this keeps the locals less rowdy,
What do you expect when taught by Cloudy?)

The spirit struggled all it's power,
Yet it could not dispose this Heaven's flower,
And nor, try as it may, could it escape,
But instead resumed it's former shape.

So in our Nessy, to this day,
The dark essence has not slunk away.
Inside our rampant, Feline Queen,
There lurks a strength yet unseen,
A spirit we fail to refute,
Though to us, she'll always be cute.

Every so often, and I will not lie,
She and her evil for control vie,
And on occasion, the evil rules,
And she treats us all like slavish fools.

Thankfully, she's calmed down with time,
And here I make an ending to my rhyme,
Though she's my lady, and when duty calls,
I'll still protect her in her castle's halls,
But yet i'm always sweating in fear,
Fearing that dreaded sound to hear:
The awful stillness... the silent hush,
Just before she unveils the dreaded toothbrush.

[ 07-31-2002, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: Jerome ]

[Lioness]

LSHISSAOMK!!!!!!

[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img]

Ahc, ach, ach...oh *grins*

[Cloudbringer]

ROTFL! Jerome... I dunno.. I may just get some popcorn and sit back and watch this one! LOL

[Jerome]

I was just going to say: "She's evil incarnate" but i've gotten quite attached to my health, believe it or not. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ 07-31-2002, 03:52 PM: Message edited by: Jerome ]

[Cloudbringer]

Here, Lioness, have a COOKIE, it'll cure that funny lisp you developed today

[Jerome]

Originally posted by Cloudbringer: ROTFL! Jerome... I dunno.. I may just get some popcorn and sit back and watch this one! LOL

I've come prepared Cloudy.

*shows off his new set of full-body armour* [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Anyway, she had to go, so i've got some time to write my will and things before she gets back.

and what good will that armour do?

*a little man in black ruuns out, starts measuring Jerome's height and shoulder width with a tape measure, tehn runs out again*

wow! not seen one of them since the carry on films!

[Jerome]

Hopefully the body armour should at least preserve the tiniest bit of my body for my family to bury. [img]graemlins/uhoh1.gif[/img]

[SomeGuy]

LSHISSAOMK???? What the heck is that supposed to mean?Oh and Jerome.You can write you will on this napkin. I feel sorry for you Jerome...and the toothbrush. (What's the deal about the toothbrush?What makes it so scary?[mockingly] Ooh look at me I'm a little toothbrush!I'm going to kill you ooh.)

Originally posted by Jerome: Hopefully the body armour should at least preserve the tiniest bit of my body for my family to bury. [img]graemlins/uhoh1.gif[/img]

donate your brain to sciencee - more productive