Southern Horoscope

[Ladyzekke]

LOL, this is not to be taken seriously, is a joke LOL, so what are YOU LOL?

Southern Horoscopes

Some of us (especially Southerners) are pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that our present astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get rid of them. When out and about, one can see bulls, and once in a great while, even a ram. Up the street, there may be some twins. The rest of these things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on vacation. There are no lions or scorpions, not many archers and no damn water bearers. Virgins? The town's not crawling with them
either. What we need are SOUTHERN things.

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) - Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) - Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20) - You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (Mar 21 - April 20) - You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM (APR 21 - May 21) - When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically
healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) - Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the
beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) - Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with
the essence of those around them. Collards make good
social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) - Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one whiskers - may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) - Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or
gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) - You have a
passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and their
criticism will probably affect you deeply because you
are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (October 24 - Nov 22) - Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody.
However, you too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) - You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.

[Grand-Ranger]

Hehehe, I have seen this before, its still strikes me as funny. I am a Moonpie!!!

I am appalled!

[mistral4543]

I'm a c... catfish [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img] And to think I like eating them I think I'm going to be sick [img]graemlins/reallyroll.gif[/img]

[John D Harris]

Boilt Pee-nut (boiled peanut for them that north of the mason-dixon)here, Miss Lady Zeeke Ma'am

[Ladyzekke]

Bump! (just one)

[Sazerac]

Grits, here! (and I do like cheese grits! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] )

I actually had a friend (from up north, of course! [img]tongue.gif[/img] ) who thought that grits were the same thing as Maypo and put huge dollops of sugar all over them...ACCCKKKK!!!

-Sazerac

[nick1979]

LOL! I'm a Moon pie and come to think about it I am getting rounder these days. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Cloudbringer]

ROTFL! HAHAHA! Well LadZ I'm a boiled peanut that's marrying a crawfish! LOL How's that for Southern cuisine?

[Helspanth]

I'm a crawfish.
What is a crawfish BTW?

[Sazerac]

A crawfish is kind of like a very very very small lobster. They're crustaceans that are a little bigger than a large shrimp, and are either red or black. However, unlike lobsters and shrimp, crawfish are fresh-water and can be found in lakes, bayous, streams, and swamps in the southern United States. Boiled crawfish served with corn and potatoes are extremely good to eat. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Cheers,
-Sazerac