depression

250 · 11-25-2001, 04:24 AM

nothing I do seem to be able to put her off my mind. nothing, I've tried music, sport, movies, good food, hang out with friends and games. nothing seem to work. whenever I think abt her, the hurt feelings come back

only if she can just send me an email, just as short as "hello, I am fine here, I miss you." or maybe log on for 5 mins to say hi... how much I'd love her gift, even if it is the smallest thing in the world, or send me a card... dont friends do that to each other?

I have a jade necklace, it is a safe charm thing, sort of like animal totem. I've been wearing it for 4 years. and I am kinda supersitious guy. I had a hoby of putting my hands in my collar and feel the smoothness of the jade.

she is not a good driver. I gave the jade to her. whenever I put my hand in my collar, out of habbit, I no longer feel the jade. it is like a part of me is missing. I'd tell myself that it is there to keep her safe, to keep her out of harm, but not out of her pain and frustrations

she is blind, blinded by her own pains and hurt. I guess that means I should forgive her. but what of my own pains and hurt?

I want to sleep, maybe that will stop the cozzy feelings in my chest. even cry doesnt help this time, it just wont go away.

Bahamut · 11-25-2001, 05:32 AM

sleep is good for those who have tormented hearts... [img]smile.gif[/img]

250 · 11-25-2001, 05:45 AM

well, literally, I am loving someone who stabs me (unintentionally, but stab nonetheless)

Beaumanoir · 11-25-2001, 06:35 AM

quote:
Originally posted by 250:
well, literally, I am loving someone who stabs me (unintentionally, but stab nonetheless)

Hmmmmm, That Worries me... Alot...

Jorath Calar · 11-25-2001, 07:42 AM

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles 250. Maybe you should write her and tell her how you feel. See if she cares at all.

Lavindathar · 11-25-2001, 07:47 AM

I think I know how u feel 250, as me and my gf have too many arguments than what is healthy...But i don't think that we will split up, as we both love each other too much....

And when I get depressed (isn't too often), the thing that makes me come out of it, is music. Not just any music, certain songs. I listen to more depressing music, so I enter a state of "thinking"...it makes me very depressed, but I can think very clearly, and I usually figure out what to do...then I come out of it.

It sounds wierd, but in my head it works.

Garnet FalconDance · 11-25-2001, 10:17 AM

quote:
Originally posted by 250:
nothing I do seem to be able to put her off my mind. nothing,

only if she can just send me an email, just as short as "hello, I am fine here, I miss you." or maybe log on for 5 mins to say hi... how much I'd love her gift, even if it is the smallest thing in the world, or send me a card... dont friends do that to each other?
.

250, SNAP OUT OF IT!!! And I mean it!!! You are hovering on the edge of obsession, and this is *NOT* a good thing, my son.

Your life does NOT exist because of her gracing it with her presence.

We have talked about this: remember when we said you have a choice to make? And having made the choice to continue to be her friend, you (because of your strong feelings for her) would at some point then have to decide if continuing would be healthy for you? You are at that point. Is this healthy for *YOU*?!? I know you can't help your love for her, but in reality, you must care for yourself first and foremost. She has her own issues to deal with (which she is choosing not to do) and ignores or chooses not to see your yearning to be part of the solution. Until and unless she opens her eyes to her own inner self and realizes the chaos she has created, your best bet is to back off and stay away.

I'll be damned if I lose you, Leo! So you'd best pull yourself up, dust off your heart, and get back on the path! We can talk later, if need be. E-mail me.

Lifetime · 11-25-2001, 10:34 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance:

250, SNAP OUT OF IT!!! And I mean it!!! You are hovering on the edge of obsession, and this is *NOT* a good thing, my son.

Your life does NOT exist because of her gracing it with her presence.

We have talked about this: remember when we said you have a choice to make? And having made the choice to continue to be her friend, you (because of your strong feelings for her) would at some point then have to decide if continuing would be healthy for you? You are at that point. Is this healthy for *YOU*?!? I know you can't help your love for her, but in reality, you must care for yourself first and foremost. She has her own issues to deal with (which she is choosing not to do) and ignores or chooses not to see your yearning to be part of the solution. Until and unless she opens her eyes to her own inner self and realizes the chaos she has created, your best bet is to back off and stay away.

I'll be damned if I lose you, Leo! So you'd best pull yourself up, dust off your heart, and get back on the path! We can talk later, if need be. E-mail me.

What he said, but I'd just tell you that it takes time. There's no easy way out of it dude. Just hold on to your sanity till you realise you dont have to anymore..

11-25-2001, 11:21 AM

What you need is a strong dwarven ale and to sit down with some old friends infront of a campfire and talk, let it all out ...thats what friends are for and I have had to make an appreance again as your heart in hurting and I am a friend therefore it is my duty to help you through the bad times...isnt that what friends are for [img]smile.gif[/img]

Seriously though it sounds to me like you may be in a similar situation to one I was once in...or still am in a way so I can simpathise with you but I must tell you that you have to break away for a while ...step back and take a long hard look at yourlife and ask yourself ...is it worth it?

Legolas · 11-25-2001, 12:59 PM

You obviously can't help loving her Leo, so don't try to change anything there. But you are going to have to act or you will only get stuck deeper in your problems. 'Mom' is right, you are facing a choice. It's a difficult choice for you to make, but we can't do it for you. Hang in there and pull through. And remember you are not alone in this. You have all of our support before, during and after your depression.
Good luck, and be strong Leo.
*hugs*

11-25-2001, 05:32 AM	#2
Bahamut Iron Throne Cult Join Date: March 12, 2001 Location: Manila, Philippines Age: 40 Posts: 4,864	sleep is good for those who have tormented hearts... [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ http://makeallthedifference.blogspot.com http://www.bratgirlcentral.com/cgi-b.../ikonboard.cgi

11-25-2001, 06:35 AM	#4
Beaumanoir Iron Throne Cult Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: There is no IRL, Only AFK. Age: 36 Posts: 4,896	quote: Originally posted by 250: well, literally, I am loving someone who stabs me (unintentionally, but stab nonetheless) Hmmmmm, That Worries me... Alot... __________________ My pokemon bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like; you wanna trade cards? Damn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my Charizard.

11-25-2001, 07:47 AM	#6
Lavindathar Harper Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Lancs, England Age: 40 Posts: 4,729	I think I know how u feel 250, as me and my gf have too many arguments than what is healthy...But i don't think that we will split up, as we both love each other too much.... And when I get depressed (isn't too often), the thing that makes me come out of it, is music. Not just any music, certain songs. I listen to more depressing music, so I enter a state of "thinking"...it makes me very depressed, but I can think very clearly, and I usually figure out what to do...then I come out of it. It sounds wierd, but in my head it works. __________________ =@

11-25-2001, 10:17 AM	#7
Garnet FalconDance Mephistopheles Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: deep within the sylvan splendor.... Age: 61 Posts: 1,443	quote: Originally posted by 250: nothing I do seem to be able to put her off my mind. nothing, only if she can just send me an email, just as short as "hello, I am fine here, I miss you." or maybe log on for 5 mins to say hi... how much I'd love her gift, even if it is the smallest thing in the world, or send me a card... dont friends do that to each other? . 250, SNAP OUT OF IT!!! And I mean it!!! You are hovering on the edge of obsession, and this is NOT a good thing, my son. Your life does NOT exist because of her gracing it with her presence. We have talked about this: remember when we said you have a choice to make? And having made the choice to continue to be her friend, you (because of your strong feelings for her) would at some point then have to decide if continuing would be healthy for you? You are at that point. Is this healthy for YOU?!? I know you can't help your love for her, but in reality, you must care for yourself first and foremost. She has her own issues to deal with (which she is choosing not to do) and ignores or chooses not to see your yearning to be part of the solution. Until and unless she opens her eyes to her own inner self and realizes the chaos she has created, your best bet is to back off and stay away. I'll be damned if I lose you, Leo! So you'd best pull yourself up, dust off your heart, and get back on the path! We can talk later, if need be. E-mail me. __________________ "Nature tells every secret once." Ralph Waldo Emerson

11-25-2001, 10:34 AM	#8
Lifetime Red Dragon Join Date: March 3, 2001 Location: Scotch College, Melbourne Posts: 1,503	quote: Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance: 250, SNAP OUT OF IT!!! And I mean it!!! You are hovering on the edge of obsession, and this is NOT a good thing, my son. Your life does NOT exist because of her gracing it with her presence. We have talked about this: remember when we said you have a choice to make? And having made the choice to continue to be her friend, you (because of your strong feelings for her) would at some point then have to decide if continuing would be healthy for you? You are at that point. Is this healthy for YOU?!? I know you can't help your love for her, but in reality, you must care for yourself first and foremost. She has her own issues to deal with (which she is choosing not to do) and ignores or chooses not to see your yearning to be part of the solution. Until and unless she opens her eyes to her own inner self and realizes the chaos she has created, your best bet is to back off and stay away. I'll be damned if I lose you, Leo! So you'd best pull yourself up, dust off your heart, and get back on the path! We can talk later, if need be. E-mail me. What he said, but I'd just tell you that it takes time. There's no easy way out of it dude. Just hold on to your sanity till you realise you dont have to anymore.. __________________ \'Cause its always raining in my head. Forget all the things I should have said..

11-25-2001, 04:24 AM	#1
250 Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: March 4, 2001 Location: either CA or MO Age: 43 Posts: 2,674	nothing I do seem to be able to put her off my mind. nothing, I've tried music, sport, movies, good food, hang out with friends and games. nothing seem to work. whenever I think abt her, the hurt feelings come back only if she can just send me an email, just as short as "hello, I am fine here, I miss you." or maybe log on for 5 mins to say hi... how much I'd love her gift, even if it is the smallest thing in the world, or send me a card... dont friends do that to each other? I have a jade necklace, it is a safe charm thing, sort of like animal totem. I've been wearing it for 4 years. and I am kinda supersitious guy. I had a hoby of putting my hands in my collar and feel the smoothness of the jade. she is not a good driver. I gave the jade to her. whenever I put my hand in my collar, out of habbit, I no longer feel the jade. it is like a part of me is missing. I'd tell myself that it is there to keep her safe, to keep her out of harm, but not out of her pain and frustrations she is blind, blinded by her own pains and hurt. I guess that means I should forgive her. but what of my own pains and hurt? I want to sleep, maybe that will stop the cozzy feelings in my chest. even cry doesnt help this time, it just wont go away.

11-25-2001, 05:45 AM	#3
250 Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: March 4, 2001 Location: either CA or MO Age: 43 Posts: 2,674	well, literally, I am loving someone who stabs me (unintentionally, but stab nonetheless)

11-25-2001, 07:42 AM	#5
Jorath Calar Harper Join Date: October 6, 2001 Location: Iceland Posts: 4,706	I'm sorry to hear of your troubles 250. Maybe you should write her and tell her how you feel. See if she cares at all.

11-25-2001, 11:21 AM	#9
Hesperex Guest Posts: n/a	What you need is a strong dwarven ale and to sit down with some old friends infront of a campfire and talk, let it all out ...thats what friends are for and I have had to make an appreance again as your heart in hurting and I am a friend therefore it is my duty to help you through the bad times...isnt that what friends are for [img]smile.gif[/img] Seriously though it sounds to me like you may be in a similar situation to one I was once in...or still am in a way so I can simpathise with you but I must tell you that you have to break away for a while ...step back and take a long hard look at yourlife and ask yourself ...is it worth it?

11-25-2001, 12:59 PM	#10
Legolas Jack Burton Join Date: March 31, 2001 Location: The zephyr lands beneath the brine. Age: 40 Posts: 5,459	You obviously can't help loving her Leo, so don't try to change anything there. But you are going to have to act or you will only get stuck deeper in your problems. 'Mom' is right, you are facing a choice. It's a difficult choice for you to make, but we can't do it for you. Hang in there and pull through. And remember you are not alone in this. You have all of our support before, during and after your depression. Good luck, and be strong Leo. hugs __________________ Say NO to the Trouser Tyranny!

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