As a way of introduction {spoilers}

[Quinch]

From the journal of Ernest Errol Quinch, last of the Bhaalspawn:


Finally, it is over.

We had defeated Mellisan... with so much of my "father"'s essence within her, she couldn't be killed. Not by us. The powers know how much longer we would have lasted, against her and her minions... almost all of our spells were spent by then, and probably naught but willpower kept us on our feet. It was then when Solar interceded. She claimed that the fight was over, the decision of the gods made and sealed. As well as was Mellisan's fate. Tymora must have been smiling on us that day; one more minute, one more second, and we may have fallen. Looking back, I still hardly believe we live yet.

I... rejected godhood. It is a decision I do not doubt will haunt me for the rest of my mortal life. Mortal... a word that has new meaning for me now, now that I know I had the chance to live forever, to stand side by side as an equal by the beings that reign across the creation. Here I go again... I have to keep reminding myself that there is more to godhood than that, horrors to face and enemies to fight beyond my imagining. Imagining that the events of the past few months developed for quite a bit. Yet now, the certainty of my imminent death looms over me like a spectre, never to leave me. I had never truly thought of it, of old age and weakness, all leading towards the inevitable end. It is understandable, I believe; ever since I left Candlekeep death did not wait at the horizon, but lurked around every corner.

Everyone left now, and I cannot blame them. The ordeals we went through every day, the sacrifices we had to make, the comrades we had to bury... the money, the trinkets, even the glory of victories - they couldn't compare to the pain my quests... that I had caused.

Sarevok, after I released him from his vow, left in utter disgust of what I decided to forgo. Sarevok and I, fighting together... the thought itself is ironic, after what he has done. I cannot help but wonder, though. He killed Gorion, by father... my true father, who was in life to me though my mother had been sired by another, without a second thought, he would have killed thousands for his glory, yet... from up close, he seemed to fight because he had nothing else, to kill anyone and anything just to escape demons in his own heart. Was he truly evil, or just a slave to ambition he knew he could not control? I guess I will never know now.

Aerie... sweet and kind Aerie, who grew so much since the circus finally gathered the courage to set off on her own. I am uneasy though, worried even. As she left, she seemed bitter... not at me, or any of my comrades, but... something. Perhaps now that our greates worries are over the time she spent in the cage, among the slavers, and the power she now wields, weighs heavily on her mind. I can only hope it will not consume her in the end.

Minsc, with Dynaheir avenged and his Dejemma completed at long last, decided to return to Rasheman. With Boo leading the way, of course. After all this time and strange things we have seen, though, I have begun to wonder... Naw.

Jaheira, her oath to Gorion fulfilled, set south. Neither of us said much as we parted for the final time; she, as always, spoke little and said much and I, myself, knew well enough that not many words were necessary. I wished her good luck, and she left. I would lie to myself if I said I do not miss her company.

And of course, Jan... he said that the turnips were calling and immediately launched into another of his narratives. I didn't hear most of what he had said; I've learned long ago that bring able to switch him off was probably the only way of avoiding madness during those long treks. As it is, he packed up his equpment, took his part of the loot {"for a little business I have planned once I get home." Truth be told, I don't want to know}, left me a flasher to remember him by and left with a passing caravan for Athkatla. Poor people.

As for myself... I too have a choice to make, and soon. Sarevok, Irenicus and now Mellisan have all been defeated, their plans for me destroyed and gone. This life of adventure, succesful as it is, was forced upon me and now, with all of the Bhaalspawn but me dead, and the last traces of his foul essence removed from my soul and body, I must decide: shall I continue with the life of adventure, or try to find peace? Truth be told, I am torn. There will always be evil to fight, and lives to protect and yet, does that not mean that there will always be those who will oppose them? Evil attracts good, and vice versa... who was it that told me that? I cannot remember now... but it still leaves me wondering. If Gorion had not saved me, would someone else stop Sarevok from starting his war? Good and evil, right and wrong, preservation of others and advancement of self... constantly fighting and sparring, yet neither gains sway for long. Heh... sometimes I think all that Jaheira's talk of balance may have some truth in it afterall.

The candle is slowly going out, and I must finish this soon. The innkeeper here in Amkathran seemed surprised I returned alone, but did not pry further. I am grateful for that... it may be a while until the news find their way to this place, and by then I will be long gone.

I think of Balthasar... how he decided to help rid the world of Bhaal's taint, even at the cost of his own life... how he said that we attract murder, how it is our very essence, our nature, and I doubt. Our heritage gave us power, yet it didn't determine our course; seeing all those half-brothers and sisters huddled together in Saradush assured me of that. I wish we didn't have to kill him. Moreso... I wish he didn't want to die.

The candle is out now, and I am writing this by the glow of the moonlight from the window. I still ponder what to do now; the ropes that pulled me from here to there have suddenly vanished and for the first time, I am free to make my own destiny. And I don't know what to do with it.

It can wait a little more, though. Things should be clearer after a good night's sleep.


------------------
Ahhhh... glass and thoughts for eternity, pain and loneliness for a destiny!

[Dundee Slaytern]

Ah, I see you followed my link. Welcome to the Forum, Quinch.

------------------
If not a Sorcerer, then a Paladin.

-------------------------
Baldur's Gate Item Mart

[Quinch]

Heh... that I did, sir Skane, and I thank you for it.

------------------
Ahhhh... glass and thoughts for eternity, pain and loneliness for a destiny!

[Ixion]

*claps hands* that was a very good story

------------------
When Ixion the mage walks, the world shivers. (old BG saying)