Would you read this for me? (School paper.)

Redblueflare · 01-11-2002, 08:37 AM

Hey I need to know if I ended this okay. (I suck at endings and intros.) Would you read this over for me?
Why I don't have a Driver's License.
I sit here looking at this blank screen and wonder why I am the only person in the senior class without a drivers license. Now of course I am definitely wishing I had one. Not just because I want one becuase I need one. As you might have guessed, it's slightly more difficult getting from place to place without a car.
Why don't I have a license? There are several reasons, the main being I wasn't interested in one. I really did not think there was any reason to get one. Guantanamo Bay is small, I could just catch the bus or walk right? I guess I was a little lazy too. I didn't want to take time learning how to drive (although I already know how to now) and certainly didn't want to stay after school for drivers ed. Besides I didn't know anyone whom I would enjoy learning with anyway. Learning with someone who is constantly yelling at you for screwing up is not fun. (That person shall remain nameless of course)
Thanks to those reason I don't have a drivers license, now I walk from place to place a lot. Walking the two miles home, or waiting for the bus gets old fast. Patience isn't one of my virtues either, so I rarely catch the bus. My dad would buy me a car, but would your father buy you a car without a drivers license? Probably not. Since I don't have a car, I couldn't have a part time job either, and even then who would I ask to drive me? My parents? They don't get off until six, and I would like to start working before then. No car also means that I have a difficult time getting myself to meetings and the like. I can't always rely on the bus as it stops coming to Villimar at six, and as i've said before, both of my parents work.
So what's the obvious solution to these problems? Get a drivers license! If I ever want to go anywhere, or get job I just might think it over.

[ 01-11-2002: Message edited by: Redblueflare ]

Djinn Raffo · 01-11-2002, 03:51 PM

Well it sounds good RedBlueFlare...One thing that i would suggest is making some of the sentences longer. Instead of:

Now of course I am definitely wishing I had one. Not just because I want one because I need one.

Try:

Now of course I am definitely wishing I had one, not just because I want one but because I need one.

Makes the flow nicer. Nice though! Drivings easy...i dont think that you would have any trouble learning...just remind your nameless instructor that even though he/she has driven for years that this is your first try...so keep there voice down cause your trying to concentrate!

[ 01-11-2002: Message edited by: Djinn Raffo ]

Black Dragon · 01-11-2002, 04:48 PM

Your lucky David, I can't even get my permit till May 26. (this year, YEAH!!) But I don't wanna take driver's ed either, but I have to, thats if I want a license. I'm lucky for two reasons though. My mom is gonna put me on her insurance.(car insurance so I don't have to pay for it) and the other reason I'm lucky is, my parents are gonna give me both of the cars we have (incase I total one) and they will go get a new one. Whoopee. Oh yeah, Your story is nice, one more thing, did you read the email I sent you? You still haven't responded becuase I still don't know the B chord. Lol

01-11-2002, 08:37 AM	#1
Redblueflare Galvatron Join Date: May 9, 2001 Location: The backwoods in Georgia sigh Age: 40 Posts: 2,151	Hey I need to know if I ended this okay. (I suck at endings and intros.) Would you read this over for me? Why I don't have a Driver's License. I sit here looking at this blank screen and wonder why I am the only person in the senior class without a drivers license. Now of course I am definitely wishing I had one. Not just because I want one becuase I need one. As you might have guessed, it's slightly more difficult getting from place to place without a car. Why don't I have a license? There are several reasons, the main being I wasn't interested in one. I really did not think there was any reason to get one. Guantanamo Bay is small, I could just catch the bus or walk right? I guess I was a little lazy too. I didn't want to take time learning how to drive (although I already know how to now) and certainly didn't want to stay after school for drivers ed. Besides I didn't know anyone whom I would enjoy learning with anyway. Learning with someone who is constantly yelling at you for screwing up is not fun. (That person shall remain nameless of course) Thanks to those reason I don't have a drivers license, now I walk from place to place a lot. Walking the two miles home, or waiting for the bus gets old fast. Patience isn't one of my virtues either, so I rarely catch the bus. My dad would buy me a car, but would your father buy you a car without a drivers license? Probably not. Since I don't have a car, I couldn't have a part time job either, and even then who would I ask to drive me? My parents? They don't get off until six, and I would like to start working before then. No car also means that I have a difficult time getting myself to meetings and the like. I can't always rely on the bus as it stops coming to Villimar at six, and as i've said before, both of my parents work. So what's the obvious solution to these problems? Get a drivers license! If I ever want to go anywhere, or get job I just might think it over. [ 01-11-2002: Message edited by: Redblueflare ] __________________ <br /><br />\"If you ever need me just whistle, and i\'ll come running. I promise. <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Smile]\" src=\"smile.gif\" /> <br />Kupo, Kupo! A man can\'t get a sword if he can\'t dance! <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Big Grin]\" src=\"biggrin.gif\" />

01-11-2002, 04:48 PM	#3
Black Dragon Zhentarim Guard Join Date: November 11, 2001 Location: Virginia Age: 37 Posts: 352	Your lucky David, I can't even get my permit till May 26. (this year, YEAH!!) But I don't wanna take driver's ed either, but I have to, thats if I want a license. I'm lucky for two reasons though. My mom is gonna put me on her insurance.(car insurance so I don't have to pay for it) and the other reason I'm lucky is, my parents are gonna give me both of the cars we have (incase I total one) and they will go get a new one. Whoopee. Oh yeah, Your story is nice, one more thing, did you read the email I sent you? You still haven't responded becuase I still don't know the B chord. Lol __________________ Black owns!<br />Dragons rule!!<br /> [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/blackdragonpic.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br /> <b>If the media decided that breathing wasn\'t \"cool\" anymore, half the teenage population would be gone.</b> --Someguy

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01-11-2002, 03:51 PM	#2
Djinn Raffo Ra Join Date: March 11, 2001 Location: Ant Hill Age: 49 Posts: 2,397	Well it sounds good RedBlueFlare...One thing that i would suggest is making some of the sentences longer. Instead of: Now of course I am definitely wishing I had one. Not just because I want one because I need one. Try: Now of course I am definitely wishing I had one, not just because I want one but because I need one. Makes the flow nicer. Nice though! Drivings easy...i dont think that you would have any trouble learning...just remind your nameless instructor that even though he/she has driven for years that this is your first try...so keep there voice down cause your trying to concentrate! [ 01-11-2002: Message edited by: Djinn Raffo ]

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