Seeking constructive Resumix criticism.

[Felix The Assassin]

Folks, this is the first paragraph of my Resumix for a excellent job that has recently posted on CPOL for Ft. Knox. (Civilian Personnel Online)

First; Resumix does not equal resume. A Resumix is a complete stand alone document, the only thing that quantifies and qualifies an applicant to said job posting.

Second; Key words and phrases. All CPOL postings must be deciphered, analyzed, and reviewed for key words and phrases. It is of the utmost importance that a Resumix match as many key words and phrases as the applicant and their mentor can find. This is the first of several qualification hurdles that must be overcome in order to move to the next stage within the process. This first selection criteria is conducted by PC based software.

Third; Character count. Since a Resumix is stand alone, there is 12,500 character spaces available for input within the performance section. The enclosed section is the first paragraph (1,976 characters), and I plan to write a total of four paragraphs to qualify and quantify my performance and previous employment experience.

Fourth; Follow on section. There is another complete section in which one has 5,000 characters to include education, certifications, awards, fellowships etc.. That section is complete and on standing file.

I'm looking for flow, understandability, connection, and equilibrium with my words and those of the job postings key words and phrases. (Research, analyze, prioritize, instruct, institutional, doctrine, Joint, advise, solicits, develops, implements, collects, collaborates, recommends, Allied) are the main key words for this section. (Coordinate with internal and external agencies..., Provides input..., Develops close liaison with..., Identifies requirements of..., Plans, directs and participates in the collection of information through the efforts of...to facilitate a data collection synchronization plan, Military decision making.) are the main phrases.

Yea'll I'm asking a lot, but whole heartedly hope for something constructive from a civilian point of view. My mentor is retired Army and has over 20 years in the civil service work place, so he might be slightly biased.


Research, analyze and prioritize current doctrine and Tactics, Techniques and Procedures (TTPs), for implementation into current (SECRET) (real phrase<-- there in resumix) Program of Instruction (POI). Advises and instructs US Army, USMC and Allied staff level non-commissioned officers, and Allied company grade officers on POI, military decision making, training management, doctrinal processes and methodologies. Research, analyze, and recommend changes to future doctrine within subject matter. Implements approved doctrinal changes into subject matter expertise for POI. Plans, directs and participates in the collection of information through the efforts of product manufacturers, engineers, and program managers to facilitate a data collection synchronization plan. Asses and recommends doctrinal products, institutional training , and procedural change within subject matter expertise areas. Coordinates with internal and external customers, end-users, trainers, and institutional counterparts on the update, revision, research and analysis of evolving doctrine, training, processes, and TTPs. Provides advice and assistance to doctrine writers related to subject matter expertise. Collaborates closely with Army and Joint forces instructors involved in institutional related work. Develops close liaison with counterparts in Army agencies, USMC directories, and nongovernmental organizations involved with institutional related work. Develops work schedules, identifies requirement of special projects, develops employees, reviews POI for technical and operational accuracy, provides input to the supervisor on performance, appraisals, and recommends awards where appropriate. Solicits feed back from the customer on the quality, accuracy, and timeliness of products, and adjusts where appropriate, and recommends other expectations to the supervisor. Continually receives positive feedback from the customer, and has received recognition for excellence as an instructor on numerous occasions.