Santa'd better be fast...

[Bungleau]

From Yahoo Weird News...

Santa Claus is coming to town -- for 34 microseconds STOCKHOLM (AFP) - Christmas is hectic for all but particularly for Santa, who must live in Kyrgyzstan and make his rounds at lightning speed if he is to deliver gifts to all the world's children on time, a Swedish consultancy has concluded. Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Santa Claus's route around the planet includes stops at 2.5 billion homes, assuming that children of all religions receive a present from the jolly man in the red suit, Anders Larsson of the engineering consultancy Sweco told AFP. "We estimated that there are 48 people per square kilometer (120 per square mile) on Earth, and 20 metres (66 feet) between each home. So if Santa leaves from Kyrgyzstan and travels against the Earth's rotation he has 48 hours to deliver all the presents," he said. Father Christmas has long been believed to reside at the North Pole, although a number of northern towns, including Finnish Rovaniemi, claim to be his true home. But Sweco's report on Santa's most efficient route -- which takes into account factors like geographic density and the fewest detours -- shows that he wouldn't be able to make his round-the-world trip from there in time. "He has 34 microseconds at each stop" to slide down the chimney, drop off the presents, nibble on his cookies and milk and hop back on his sleigh, Larsson said. Santa's reindeer must travel at a speed of 5,800 kilometers (3,604 miles) per second to make the trip on time. Another report circulating on the Internet suggested however that Santa's sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

I especially like that last bit... vaporised within .00426 seconds. Just so long as he delivers my goodies first...

[Dragonshadow]

Hmm, nothing quite as festive as the mental image of santa burning up in our atmosphere...

[Firestormalpha]

So that's what I thought was a shooting star last year.

But at anyrate, what they fail to realise is that If Santa is magical in nature as most folktale report, then in what way does physics and time restraint apply to his mission?

[Sazerac]

Being that there are as many nasty people as there are out there nowadays, I imagine his load, and his trip, are considerably lighter. It certainly won't take long to deliver presents to the "good" people that remain.

[Sever]

So it's official? Santa IS Chuck Norris?

[Armen]

it's all very simple

santa is a high level D&D mage with a long duration, wide-effect 'time stop'

[Firestormalpha]

Originally Posted by Sever So it's official? Santa IS Chuck Norris?

No, I'm pretty sure he isn't. After all, if he was, you'd see a lot more people on the naughty list die from roundhouse kicks to the head. The worlds population would be reduced by at least half every year.

[Jaradu]

Originally Posted by Armen it's all very simple santa is a high level D&D mage with a long duration, wide-effect 'time stop'

That's what I was taught as a kid.

[Kakero]

This is the modern era lads, Santa must have fitted his sleigh with some modern gizmo that allow him to travel at a lightspeed.

[Mack_Attack]

Santa came all ready to my place. He was a good guy. I got a beer fridge. For some reason there is more juice boxes in there then beer.