The Good Girl/ Stoic Man Syndrome

[GlassMaiden]

Hi, I was wondering how many women and men suffer from the "good girl" syndrome, the one where everyone expects you to act a certain way because "good people " act that way.. even if you want to react in a different way? I've mostly experienced hearing women complain about this.. but I'm sure there are men that suffer the same thing. Or if you dont.. give us your impression of people that do react that way.

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There's more to seeing than eyes, more to life than a body.

[John D Harris]

No, I don't suffer from that, I am a "nice guy", "good guy". Years ago in my youth my actions destroyed and damaged other peoples lives, I will have to answer for MY own actions. I decided that it was the only road for me to travel being a "nice guy". And except everything that may happen on that road.
I am thankful for peolpe that do act out the "good guy/girl" roll at least they are not part of the problem. I feel sorry (empathy may be a better term) for them that they don't yet realise that it is thieir life and they alone must take control of it, and execpt the consequences of they choices.
Don't know if that helps just My opinion, which is like an annal sphinxtser (sp?) everybodies got one and they needed to be wiped everyonce in a while

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"the memories of a man in his old age,
are deeds of a man in his prime"

[Reeka]

I am just me, take me or leave me, like me or not. I personally do my best to not judge people at all. If I haven't been in their shoes; I don't know.

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Order of the Holy Flame
Member of Clan HADB

I get judged negatively here where I live because I don't wear make-up all the time.
Women here would put on their make-up before they went outside, even if the house was on fire.
Some people also have a problem that I don't always dress like a Barbie Doll.
I like my jeans and mocassins!

Everyone around me knows I am a nice person though and they treat me as such.

I don't judge people by what they look like nor do I deem it necessary to think that people should act one way or another, although I prefer nice over mean.

We are all individuals with individual ways of expressing ourselves.
What seems offensive to one may be perfectly acceptable for the person offending them.


Moni

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[This message has been edited by Moni (edited 06-24-2001).]

[Sharpedge]

I have always believed it is important to be your own person. I have seen friends and loved ones cornered into certain situations or niches where they begin to behave as they are expected to, rather then following their heart. Perhaps, sometimes, this is the right thing to do, but I have always been saddened to see personality quenched in favour of conformities.

Obviously, there are certain lines we cannot cross, but does it hurt to take a risk now and then and follow your own path rather then the one set by others? I think not, but it is a risk all the same. I'd have to agree with what's already been said: Be your own person and people will respect you for who you are, rather then the image they have constructed for you. If they cannot learn to respect after that, then you must ask, is their respect worth having if you must sacrifice personal freedom to do so?

Ah, and as this is a poll, yes I probably have suffered from stoic man syndrome, in fact 'stoic' was once used to describe me (I think it was a joke ).

-Sharp (who hopes he isn’t barking up the wrong tree)

(EDIT: For sleepy grammar. Twice )

[This message has been edited by Sharpedge (edited 06-24-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Sharpedge (edited 06-24-2001).]

[Djinn Raffo]

Originally posted by Reeka: I am just me, take me or leave me, like me or not. I personally do my best to not judge people at all. If I haven't been in their shoes; I don't know.

This is how I try to live. Judge not lest ye be judged yourself.
Nobody wants to be labeled, even though I have been guilty of this in the past and most probably in the future, I endeavor to not stereotype anyone ever, even in my mind...

[SSJ4Sephiroth]

for some reason, everyone expects me to be evil. im not exactly sure why, its probably because with madness comes darkness, but i often react with a good reaction, even though i would like nothing more than to kill the person that angers me the most: the school bully. but i dont judge him; its not my place, and he will face retribution soon enough. i usually dont care about what anyone does though. i dont reveal myself to anyone, and that means not showing emotions when most people would.

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Proud member of the HADB. And remember, when you're thinking of giant heads, why not think of the Big Giant Head?

[AliCat]

I have to be a "good girl" for the most part at work, but outside that, I'm always surprised if someone says I'm nice or anything. I don't make an effort to be especially nice and certainly not to be mean, but... life's too short to play a role outside of acting. In the long run, I'm just me. Anyone who tries too hard to be a "good girl"/"stoic man" loses themselves in the process.

[Sir Taliesin]

Just me. I don't put on airs or try to act like something I'm not. I do try to be nice to people. Just like I would like to be treated. I'm mostly a child at heart. Had too many serious moments through out my life time, to want anymore. Then again, my wife says most men are children.

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Sir Taliesin



If they take my gun can I still use my Axe?

[Moridin]

I just experienced this at work with our merger. A female manager is moving here from Milwaukee. We dresses like a high-power exec., is very, very, serious about her work and expects others to be the same, is a bit stuffy to talk to.....everyone of us was a bit unnerved by her as we expected to have her constantly watching over our shoulder and making us work 12 hr days......well a few of us went to Milwaukee for merger crap and we all met for dinner after work one day. To our surprise, this supposedly 'uptight' get-ahead, career woman came walking into the resteraunt in a Harley-Davidson tank top, blue jeans, leather riding boots, and her hair, which she always has in a bun at work, was down, and it comes almost to her waist! We have now found that she is very serious at work, but she is also very serious at leisure

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Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig