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12-18-2005, 02:02 PM
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Unicorn
 Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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The Perfect Forwarding Email
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy. ................................. Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope. ................................. Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic. ................................. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. ................................. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. ................................. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. ................................. I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. ................................. I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me. ................................. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. ................................. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). ................................. I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program. ................................. Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour! ................................. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diahorrea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
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53.7% of all statistics are made up |
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12-18-2005, 02:44 PM
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#2 |
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Xanathar Thieves Guild
 Join Date: March 17, 2001
Location: Wichita, KS USA
Age: 62
Posts: 4,537
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er, somewhat bitter? [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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To those we have lost; May your spirits fly free. Interesting read, one of my blogs. |
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12-18-2005, 08:32 PM
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#3 |
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Legion Symbol
 Join Date: May 29, 2002
Location: Somewhere in between
Age: 40
Posts: 7,029
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heh, cute. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Skydracgrrl: Cruelty, thy name is Cal! --- There are none so blind as those who refuse to see, none so deaf as those who refuse to hear, and none so smelly as those who refuse to bathe. 
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12-18-2005, 08:38 PM
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#4 |
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Anubis
 Join Date: February 21, 2005
Location: ....
Age: 36
Posts: 2,473
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That;'s nicee
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Spirit's 3d Dump, Check it out! 
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12-18-2005, 08:42 PM
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#5 |
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Symbol of Cyric
 Join Date: September 20, 2004
Location: Maine, feel sorry for me
Age: 34
Posts: 1,163
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That was good. What site did you find it from?
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12-18-2005, 09:00 PM
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#6 | |
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Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Quote:
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53.7% of all statistics are made up |
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12-19-2005, 08:26 AM
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#7 |
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Ironworks Moderator
 Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
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hehe... good one! I should send it to a few of my well meaning relatives who insist on forwarding me all the cutsie chain letters in the universe...or at least on the net! [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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"Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace) |
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12-19-2005, 10:44 AM
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#8 |
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Fzoul Chembryl
 Join Date: July 13, 2004
Location: Finland
Age: 36
Posts: 1,701
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I have a compelling desire to email it to someone. The irony would stab like a dagger coated in acid.
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12-19-2005, 05:11 PM
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#9 |
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Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 Join Date: June 3, 2003
Location: New York
Age: 40
Posts: 3,302
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that's an awesome e-mail. It would be random to send it to people though [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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"You're a thief and a liar." "No, I only lied about being a thief." |
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12-20-2005, 03:03 AM
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#10 |
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Elminster
 Join Date: May 13, 2004
Location: New Zealand
Age: 34
Posts: 409
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I really do hate the emails about sick girls...
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