MY own work(hehe)

[Balintherlas]

Ive been writing bits and pieces of this in my spare time, its a fantasy story and its based on the bg2 game, so itd help if uve played it, but i stil think ul be able to understand most of it. Forgive the grammar errors.

“Haha! A mighty blow Trethlere!” Minsc shouts with joy, “Evil mage will certainly have a mark from that!” The battle against the revenge driven mage, Irenicus, is over. Ended by the holy stoke of Carosmeyr, the righteous blade. With his death the gate to the party’s own world is open, they are transported back to Suldenesar. As much as this should relieve Trethlere, it doesn’t. There is only a feeling of regret, no, more than that, sorrow even. This much is seen on his face by Aerie, Trethlere’s one love, his whole world.
“What’s wrong my love, are you hurt”? she asks with a genuine concern. As he look into her eyes to reply, he sees the great love she bears for him. Love that he feels is not worthy of.
“No I’m fine my...”, almost he says my love, but then he thinks how can I be deserving of a being of the greatest light. “I am fine, just a little weary.” A concerned look spreads across her delicate features, and Trethlere only turns away.
Valygar breaks the silence, “ A well fought battle, though I was worried if we would ever see the blessed sun again” he says with a smile. His words are lost as Elimiseme, queen of the elves and one of the most beautiful creatures of this land, comes to the grove where they just arrived, great relief drawn clearly on her face.
“With heroes like Trethlere, Keldorn, Imoen, Aerie, Valygar, and Minsc, the outcome of this battle was never in doubt.” Most of the party accepts the complement with quiet humility, except for Minsc who appears to reply, but is nudged to silence by Keldorn. “On behalf of the elven nation, I thank you all,” Eliseme finishes.
Not even the Gods could restrain Minsc now as he gives a hearty yell, and boo can be heard squeaking his delight as well. Trethlere observes Keldorn accept the praise with modesty, a true hero, he thinks, not like him. The rest of the comrades are overjoyed, Imoen truly seems happy now, and this is pleasing to Trethlere. She has suffered too much in her short life, most of it caused inadvertently by Trethlere. And Aerie, as he look into her face again, their eyes meet, her love for him seen in her gaze, and his love for her reflected back. But no he thinks and quickly averts his eyes to the sorrow of Aerie. How can I do this to her, he thinks to himself, if she knew the truth, that this facade of hero played by me is false. Doesn’t she know? Don’t they all know of how many lives I’ve taken? Countless! And this Irenicus, just another destined to die by my hand. I truly am a child of the Lord of Murder. As servants rush couches and food tables in, music is played, soft elven ballads. Even the trees seem to be in a place of peace and bliss. He cannot allow himself to disrupt this.
“Honored Queen, might it be possible for me to have a private room, exhaustion is about to overcome me I fear,” He asks apologetically.
“Of course Lord Trethlere, I can not even begin to comprehend your weariness,” Elimiseme replies with compassion. “Rinald will escort you to my private chambers.”
“You are too kind my lady, I am not deserving of such an honor.”
“Nonsense! The elven nation owes you a debt that can never be repayed.” With that she motions to an elf whom leads him up the winding limbs and bows to a secluded area with it’s own door, thankfully. The companions are surprised by his abrupt departure, they want him to share in their mirth, to them, he is the compassionate leader who sacrifices everything to protect them from harm and they would do the same in turn. As delicious as the food is, the cloud of Trethlere’s leaving is a shroud.
“This room is yours, I will be waiting outside should you require anything” Rinald says as he guides Trethlere to the door.
“ Thank you Rinald, but you have been too kind already, please, go and enjoy yourself at the banquet” Trethlere replies.
A smile crosses Rinald’s face, “My lord, truly your courteous nature implies a greatness found in few these days.” Rinald gave a low bow and trots off to rejoin the merriment. Leaving Trethlere thinking of his last statement, if only he knew the truth.


“Keldorn, may I speak to you a moment in private”? Aerie asks.
“Of course Aerie, I live to serve. What is it that troubles you?”
“It’s Trethlere, has he not been acting strange lately, distant?”
“Well we did just survive the most perilous battle of our lives”, Keldorn replies with a smile.
“Yes I know, it’s just that he’s been estranged to me lately, I haven’t done anything wrong have I?”
Deep concern etches Keldorn’s brow, Aerie is like a daughter to him. “No Aerie, of course not, he’s probably just been thinking on how we came out unscathed that’s all. I will talk to him though, perhaps offer some elderly wisdom.”
“Th-thank you Keldorn. You and Uncle Quayle are the best fathers anyone could have.” A warm smile crosses Keldorn’s face as he embraces Aerie in a loving hug. I can’t let him hurt her, he thinks to himself.
A hard knock interrupts Trethlere’s brooding. “Trethlere, sorry to disturb but we need to talk, am I intruding”, Keldorn asks? Not waiting for a reply he enters the grand chamber with a purpose. “I must speak with you about Aerie”
“I would normally welcome your company old friend, but I fear…”
Keldorn cuts him short, “Enough of these excuses! Why have you been ignoring Aerie, the love you bear each other is plain for all to see?” Trethlere starts with a response, then falls silent and lowers his head. After a few moments with Keldorn watching him intently, Trethlere finally looks up, his eyes wet with moisture.
“But how can I allow her to love me? How can I corrupt her soul with my foul taint?”
“Foul taint? What in Torm’s name are you talking about man? You are the most pious, devout, righteous man I’ve even known, and I have known many paladins if you’ve forgotten.”
“What cunning I have to fool an inquisitor. Do you know how many I’ve killed? Countless! I’ve built a ziggurat of murders for my dead father. What’s worse, I had behind my faith like a child behind his mother’s apron. I am a sham!”
“But Trethlere, those you have killed have only been done to protect the ones you love. Life was taken only when warranted.”
“Yes Keldorn, but I would have slain all those I have even if you and the rest of my companions weren’t present.” Trethlere can feel the rage burning inside, for too long has he bottled up his thoughts and now they come forth like a torrent. Unbeknownst to him or Keldorn however, Aerie silently entered the room and was enlightened to his ravings.
“I fight against evil when evil is what I am. I will not allow my darkness to infect Aerie anymore than it already has.” He is stopped short as Aerie says, “But Trethlere, you are not darkness, you are light. I know this, Keldorn knows this. All of our friends know this. You are the epitome of all that is good in this world.”
“She’s right Trethlere,” Keldorn adds. “Your good name is known through all the lands.”
“You fools” Trethlere shouts with rage, madness slowly enveloping him, he draws his sword, Carosmeyr. “Do you see this sword? Do you know all lives I have taken with this “righteous” piece of metal?” Aerie draws near to embrace him, “But my love, you are not the evil murd-” Her voice is stopped short, blind rage takes Trethlere as he shouts, “Enough!” and turns around with his sword erect. Before he knows what is happening, the blade is driven up to the hilt in Aerie’s chest. Shock more than pain is on her face as her lifeblood covers Trethlere’s hands.
“NOOOO!” Keldorn cries as he witnesses the terrible act. He grabs Aerie before she falls and gently lowers her to the now, so cold, carpeted floor. Without the strength to stand, Trethlere slumps to his knees.
“Use your touch Trethlere. Heal her”, Keldorn begs. But Trethlere does not hear him. All he can do is stare at his blood covered hands and know they will be bathed in his love’s blood for the rest of his days…

[Xen]

<font color=lightblue>I find it very interesting story. I like it pretty much. Keep up the good work. [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] </font>

[Harkoliar]

interesting twist thats what i can say

[Balintherlas]

Geesh, everyones a critic, haha jus jokin, thanks for the advice.
This is just the first part of what i intend to be a fairly lengthly story, its jus high school, sports, and work take up a lot of my time.
Il revise it som more and get the names right next time.
Also, i didnt intend it to be melodramatic, its jus i wanted people to see the anger building in the main character. The grammar and stuf might be the best its gonna get cus i wouldnt giv this to anyone to edit.