Military Aircraft Registration Card...

McDonnell Douglas

AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES

Important! Important! Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. __Mr. __Mrs. __Ms. __Miss __Lt. __Gen. __Comrade __Classified __Other

First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________

Latitude________________________Longitude_________ _________________________

Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

__F-14 Tomcat __F-15 Eagle __F-16 Falcon __F-117A Stealth __Classified

3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

4. Serial Number____________________

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

__Received as Gift/Aid Package

__Catalog Showroom

__Sleazy Arms Broker

__Mail Order

__Discount Store

__Government Surplus

__Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

__Heard loud noise, looked up

__Store Display

__Espionage

__Recommended by friend/relative/ally

__Political lobbying by Manufacturer

__Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

__Style/Appearance

__Kickback/Bribe

__Recommended by salesperson

__Speed/Maneuverability

__Comfort/Convenience

__McDonnell Douglas Reputation

__Advanced Weapons Systems

__Price/Value

__Back-Room Politics

__Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

__North America

__Central/South America

__Aircraft Carrier

__Europe

__Middle East

__Africa

__Asia/Far East

__Misc. Third-World Countries

__Classified

9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:

Product Own Intend to purchase

Color TV

VCR

ICBM

Hunter-Killer Satellite

CD Player

Air-to-Air Missiles

Space Shuttle

Home Computer

Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

__Communist/Socialist

__Terrorist

__Crazed (Islamic)

__Crazed (Other)

__Neutral

__Democratic

__Dictatorship

__Corrupt (Latin American)

__Corrupt (Other)

__Primitive/Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

__Cash

__Suitcases of Cocaine

__Oil Revenues

__Deficit Spending

__Personal Check

__Credit Card

__Ransom Money

__Traveler's Check

12. Occupation You Your Spouse

Homemaker __

Sales/Marketing__

Revolutionary__

Clerical__

Mercenary__

Tyrant__

Middle Management__

Eccentric Billionaire__

Defense Minister/General__

Retired__

Student__

13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

Activity Interest You Your Spouse

Golf

Boating/Sailing

Sabotage

Running/Jogging

Propaganda/Disinformation

Destabilizing/Overthrow

Default on Loans

Gardening

Crafts

Black Market/Smuggling

Collectibles/Collections

Watching Sports on TV

Wines

Interrogation/Torture

Household Pets

Crushing Rebellions

Espionage/Reconnaissance

Fashion Clothing

Border Disputes

Mutually Assured Destruction

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION

Marketing Department

Military Aerospace Division

P.O. Box 800

St. Louis, MO 55500

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This item was apparently posted on the company site until management spotted it!

Yeah I will take two of those F-14 planes. Do you take Visa. ;)

Yes, I recently received two of your planes as early Christmas gifts. I must say, they are very nice. They're especially fun when I'm flying over various 3rd world countries. Now, just because I'm corrupt (Latin American), doesn't mean I don't appreciate quality work. Good job guys. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] I hope you enjoyed the method of payment (cocaine, if you don't remember), ;)

:D :D :D

Too funny, Johnny!

Ees a nice one aye. A truckload of Columbian marching powder ees on eets way.