Just thought I'd share this with all the guys in IW... ;)
A Guide for Men For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy! Do something she likes - and you get points. Do something she dislikes - and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed .................................................. ..........+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.................. 0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.................................-1 You leave the toilet seat up................................................ .-5 You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.......................... 0 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.................-1 When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.........................-2 You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...................+5 ...in the snow.............................................. .................+8 ...but return with beer.............................................. ........-5 ...and no liners............................................ ................-25 You check out a suspicious noise at night................................... 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing........................... 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.........................+5 You pummel it with a six iron.............................................. .+10 It's her cat............................................... .................-40 AT THE PARTY You stay by her side the entire party.........................................0 You leave her side to chat with a College drinking buddy.................... -2 A buddy named Tiffany........................................... .............-4 Tiffany is a dancer............................................ .............-10 With breast implants.......................................... ..............-80 HER BIRTHDAY You remember her birthday.......................................... ...........0 You buy a card and flowers........................................... .........0 You take her out to dinner............................................ ....... 0 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar........................+1 Okay, it is a sports bar............................................... ......-2 And it's all-you! -can-eat night.............................................-3 It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.............................................. .-10 A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a pal............................................... ..................0 The pal is happily married........................................... ........+1 The pal is single............................................ ................-7 He drives a Ferrari........................................... ..............-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBD).................................-15 A NIGHT OUT WITH HER You take her to a movie............................................. .........+2 You take her to a movie she likes............................................+ 4 You take her to a movie you hate.............................................+ 6 You take her to a movie you like.............................................-2 It's called Death Cop 3................................................. .....-3 ...which features Cyborgs that eat humans....................................-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.......................-15 YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable pot belly..........................................-15 You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it..............+10 You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts............................................ ..........................-30 You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."...........................-800 THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding........................................ ..........-10 You reply, "Where?".......................................... ...............-35 You reply, "no, I think it's your ass".....................................-100 Any other response.......................................... ................-50 COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression.................................0 You listen, for over 30 minutes........................................... ...+5 You relate to her problem and share a similar experience....................+50 You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do?".............................................. .......-50 You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV..............+100 She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep........................-200 :D |
<font color=pink>ROFL. It's funny cause it's true! :D [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] </font>
[ 02-27-2003, 12:54 AM: Message edited by: Lady Blue03 ] |
LoL, thats really good :D
it sure seems a pretty hard job impressing a woman. |
Very funny. ;)
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oh my gosh, that was quite funny. :D
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absoloutly funny!!!!!!! :D .. now i know how hard it is pleasing a woman.
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Love it! Especially the 'any other response' to the 'Does this make me look fat' question.
Do you women know the panic that is induced in a man's head when you ask questions like that? ;) |
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