Top 10 Signs You're at a Redneck Wedding

10. Rehearsal dinner held at Hooters

9. Instead of "friends of the bride or friends of the groom," ushers ask "Ford or Chevy?"

8. Bridesmaids -- pink tube tops; bridegrooms -- Travis Tritt T-shirts

7. Phrase "I do" replaced by "I heard that"

6. Tender rendition of "The Wedding Song" performed by Pinkard & Bowden

5. When minister asks "who giveth this woman to be married," some guy in the back stands up and hollers, "Earnhardt!"

4. Reception conversation includes the phrase, "So what have you been doing since 'Hee Haw,' Mr. Lindsay?"

3. Snack trays at reception: Vienna sausages and nacho cheese Doritos

2. Plans for the honeymoon evening include tickets to the "Monster Truck Show"

1. Sign in front of the church: No shirt... No shoes... No problem

For Kat, Att and Lady G: NO I REFUSE TO PARTISIPATE IN A WEDDING IF ITS ONE LIKE THIS [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] funny tho ;)

I just wanted to let y'all know that I thought this was funny but my uncle dad was very offended. ;)

this is the wedding where they have beer debates right? and peeing contests? are the cows invited?

Actually they had cigarette debates, wrote their names in the snow, and the cows weren't invited but my sisters-in-law showed up anyway.
But I'm feeling mu-u-uch better now; sticking to smart city fellers.

If your mother does not remove the Marlboro cigarette from between her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass. . .

you might be a redneck.

How come that I just knew that that you were behind this thread when I saw it on the front page, Arvon ;)

Hey I was at a wedding just last month that had vienna sausages and doritos [img]tongue.gif[/img]

My mom is on Lucky Strikes... Should I be scared? :eek:

My mom is on Lucky Strikes... Should I be scared? :eek: </font>[/QUOTE]It depends. Does she light them with a match, a lighter, or by leaning over the bar and saying "which 'un of you fellers is gonna gimme a light"? As well, does she often tell people to kiss her ass? Until I have more info, I have to advise you not to get in the car with her after she's been drinkin' - unless of course you're going 4-wheelin in your car then it's okay (gotta be drinkin if you're 4-wheelin).

Nice! [img]smile.gif[/img]

You might be a redneck if you see a sign and it reminds you to pull up your pants.

You might be a redneck if your richest relitive buys a home and you have to help him take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if someone comes to your front door every day thinking you are having a garage sale.

My Marlboro redneck joke was, AFAIK, an original. But, since we're going to quote some Foxworthy stuff, one of my faves:

If your front porch falls and kills or maims more than three hound dogs, you might be a redneck.

Just so Y'ALL know I'm quite offended by this... [img]graemlins/1pissed.gif[/img]

Try being a "northerner" and living in the south. You wouldn't make it far before you had wits turned about you [img]tongue.gif[/img]

I am a Northerner in the South!!!And many of the "Rednecks" I know are actually VERY intelligent *hears a gasp from the crowd* yeah, it’s true;” Rednecks" are intelligent!So now...
10 things that scream "Welcome to the north!!!"
1. Everyone has that STUPID accent!
2. The only thing they serve at weddings are braughtworst, cheese, and beer (courtesy of Wisconsin...GO PACK GO!)
3. People are husky, if not husky their anorexic.
4. Everyone in light clothing looks like a smurf.
5. Wedding songs are performed by strange men wearing lederhosen
6. Reletives that live there or have lived there have THAT STUPID ACCENT!
7. it’s the only place where your eyeballs will freeze over.
8. People say "Ibahvorken!" instead of "Y'all"
9. Its CCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!
10. Some people just don't...Shut...Up....
I fell much better...
The Defender of the Rednecks has spoken

I was reminded of the movie 'Sweet Home Alabama' when I read this thread :D

Actually they had cigarette debates, wrote their names in the snow, and the cows weren't invited but my sisters-in-law showed up anyway.
But I'm feeling mu-u-uch better now; sticking to smart city fellers.</font>[/QUOTE]One of my best friends in Danville, IL had a wedding just like this! They weren't quite used us "trouble makers" from Jersey! :D And there was no snow for writing in (May) but one of the ushers almost got his leggs shaved .... not pretty!