William Jefferson Clinton will fetch a handsome $10 million+ to write his
memoirs, but only if he completes the manuscript. Already, we have inside
information that he's struggling with the first paragraph:

1st DRAFT: Once upon a time, on a girl called Hope... (crumple, crumple)

2nd DRAFT: Once upon a time, in a town called Hope, I was looking for a place
to dispose of Vince Foster's body... (crumple, crumple)

3rd DRAFT: Be honest. You know why you purchased this book. You want juicy
details about the defining episodes of my presidency. Well, you've come to
the right place, because starting here, in Chapter One, I will reveal
everything I know about my attempts to broker a lasting peace in Northern
Ireland and the Middle East... (crumple, crumple)

4th DRAFT: As I sit here in my Harlem office, smoking a fine Cuban cigar...
(crumple, crumple)

5th DRAFT: My close friend Lani Guinier... (crumple, crumple)

6th DRAFT: My close friend George Stephanopoulos... (crumple, crumple)

7th DRAFT: My close friend Webb Hubbell... (crumple, crumple)

8th DRAFT: Are you an attractive female between the ages of 18 and 35 years
old, and looking to meet a
well-connected gentleman friend? (crumple, crumple)

9th DRAFT: Monica. If you're reading this, please call. (crumple, crumple)

10th DRAFT: I still can't believe she kept the dress. (crumple, crumple)

11th DRAFT: Hey, Starr. How much did Knopf pay for YOUR memoirs? In Your
Face! (crumple, crumple)

12th DRAFT: Inhale? Shoot. I practically swallowed the whole... (crumple,
crumple)

13th DRAFT: This is the story of great love affair between a dashing young
president and his ruthlessly
ambitious shrew of a wife... (crumple, crumple)

14th DRAFT: Ruth Bader Ginsberg makes me hot. (crumple, crumple)

15th DRAFT: It was a night to remember. Barbara Streisand was bouncing on the
trampoline in the
Lincoln Bedroom while Ted Kennedy was sprawled in the corner drinking a
32-ounce Singapore Sling. That's
when I realized we needed to bomb that aspirin factory. (crumple, crumple)

16th DRAFT: I'm just going to dodge this draft. (crumple, crumple)

17th DRAFT: Economy good. The End. (hummmm... maybe. Naw. crumple, crumple)

18th DRAFT: It's tough to write a memoir when you're not sure what the
meaning of "was" was. (crumple,
crumple)

19th DRAFT: Remember when I saved Haiti? Nobody ever talks about that.
(crumple, crumple)

20th DRAFT: During the darkest days of my presidency, when my moral failings
were exposed to the world, I
sought spiritual counsel from the good Rev. Jesse Jacks... (crumple, crumple)

Where's that gal who wrote Hillary's memoirs?

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http://www.123imagehost.com/images/b...arrissig02.gif
"the memories of a man in his old age,
are deeds of a man in his prime"

<font color=orange>GOOD ONE! Here's one I enjoyed today especially numbers 20, 13, 12 and 1

The World's Shortist Books

20. The Things I love about Bill by Hillary Rodham Clinton
19. Things I Wouldn't Do For Money by Dennis Rodman
18. Human Rights Advances In China
17. The Differences Between Reality And Dilbert
16. To All The Men I've Loved Before Ellen DeGeneres
15. My Plan To Find The Real Killers by OJ Simpson
14. Strom Thurmond: Intelligent Quotes
13. Al Gore: The Wild Years
12. Beauty Tips by Janet Reno
11. Everything Men Know About Women
10. Everything Women Know About Men
9. The Amish Phone Book
8. America's Most Popular Lawyers
7. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors
6. Detroit - A Travel Guide
5. Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
4. French Hospitality
3. Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
2. One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA
1. The Book Of Virtue by Bill Clinton
</font>


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Sir Taliesin

http://www.dabros.com/images/sigs/giant.gif

If they take my gun can I still use my Axe?

LOL! Pricless, both of them!

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http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...Rangereyes.gif

So if in the forest look behind you, because that where the ranger is going to be

The ranger looked at the place out side of the elven town near the river, he looked near the rocks, then they showed the way ....

Grand-Jester of Laghing Hyenas
Currently in service for the Red Wizards

[This message has been edited by Grand-Ranger (edited 09-07-2001).]

LMAO those are my favorites.... Hey wait a minute I am a Liberal Arts Major
<font color=crimson> ROLL TIDE </font>



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http://www.123imagehost.com/images/b...arrissig02.gif
"the memories of a man in his old age,
are deeds of a man in his prime"

ROFL!!! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/noncgi/smiles/485.gif

Thanks for the laughs you two! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

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http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/gallion.gif

World's longest book

All my crimes and corupt political adventures revealed
By Bill Clinton and Co.

http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../1grlaugh2.gif

Good ones world shortest books http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif



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http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ages/blade.gif

Many blades cut wether they are made from mettle or wood, but the sharpest and deadlyist blade it the one of knowledge.

ROTFL Mr. Harris! As usual http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Your taste in humor is something to behold LOL!

10th DRAFT: I still can't believe she kept the dress. (crumple, crumple)

LOL, I can't believe she didn't bother to even wash it! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif http://www.themelee.com/smilies/s/otn/puke/barf.gif



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http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/stealthy/KungFuGal.gif http://exit3.i-55.com/~casual/Ladyzeke/Ladyzekke.gif

ROFLMAO, she probably didn't wash it so she could use it as evidence later. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

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http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ages/blade.gif

Many blades cut wether they are made from mettle or wood, but the sharpest and deadlyist blade it the one of knowledge.

<font color=orange>Evidence Hell! I bet she went home and put it on after work, to remember that special moment! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/puke.gif </font>

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Sir Taliesin

http://www.dabros.com/images/sigs/giant.gif

If they take my gun can I still use my Axe?

<font color="silver">you might be right she liked it so much she had do it again in her imagination lol</font>

Edit(s) trying to make it turn color.
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http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ages/blade.gif

Many blades cut despite if they are made from mettle or wood, but the sharpest and deadlyist blade it the one of knowledge.

[This message has been edited by Blade (edited 09-08-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Blade (edited 09-09-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Blade (edited 09-09-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Blade (edited 09-09-2001).]

nah, i bet she was gonna use the DNA to clone Bill Clinton! NOOOO! inject them into chicken embryos, not a human one! plz!

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It's simple. Once the Planet is hurt, it gathers Spirit Energy to heal the injury. The amount of energy gathered depends on the size of the injury...What would happen if there was an injury that threatened the very life of the Planet? Think how much energy would be gathered! Ha, ha, ha. And at the center of that injury, wil be me. All that boundless energy will be mine. By merging with the energy of the Planet, I will be come a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet, I will cease to exist as I am now. Only to be reborn as a 'God' to rule over every living soul.

http://www.angelfire.com/games3/impg...ephforsite.gif
Super Sephiroth, slayer of the Uber Fluffy, and battle co-ordionator and defender of the HADB clan.

Diplomacy is all and well, but HADB is better!