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A topic of discussion that often comes up between Reeka and I is the quality of friendships we develop on the net. Are they real? Are they lasting?
Family & friends in "Real Life" often react with disbelief when we tell of our friends from here... at least, that has been what Reeka and I have experienced. We are interested in knowing what you think. Are cyber relationships real? Do you think they can & will last for a lifetime? Why do you think as you do? Thanks in advance for your input! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif ------------------ http://www.paulbunyan.net/mnssc/bilqisd.gif Having abandoned my search for truth, I am now looking for a good fantasy. Thank you to the kind R³ for being such eloquent & witty spokesmen. |
No a vicous lie perpetrated by the man who is red.
Seriously yeah I have some good internet friends I talk to regularly, most of them I met in chat rooms at Napster before the downfall. ------------------ http://www.facelink.com/edit/raw/raw...43/1922643.bmp |
Well i have some very good friends over the net: Azreall, Rikard, Memnoch (though i dont see him a lot http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif), Cloudy, Melusine, Moiraine and Stealthy (where are you my friend ? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif) are the best of them. I do trust them a lot and i know i can tell them whatever that happens to me, and i hope they know ill be there whenever they need me http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif.
------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/ertai2.gif "I´ve been captured... and I don´t care" -Ertai, Captive of the Blinding Angel [This message has been edited by Ertai_OHF (edited 07-13-2001).] |
One of the guys that works for me just got married to a girl who he met over the internet. He met her in a chat somewhere, they talked all the time, he flew out to visit her once, they got engaged, now their married. They have been married almost 2 years now and appear very happy. It seems crazy, but I guess it can't get much more real then that.
------------------ "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -General George Patton (1885-1945) http://www.asnsoup.com/milamberanim3.gif Member of CLAN HADB |
Since the Internet is such a relatively new medium, I would be hesitant to say "lifetime" friendship...such evidence must bear the test of time. But, there is little doubt that VERY strong bonds may be formed online as well as in real life.
For one thing, people who are online already have a built-in common point of reference: computers and the Internet. This may or may not be the case with your RL friends, although assuming that one tends to choose friends on the basis of similar tastes and interests, it's likely that one's RL friends will likewise share such an interest. In such a forum as this one, we all have another very strong common point of interest: that of our hobby, gaming. The disadvantage? Well, the Internet is fairly anonymous, despite a bunch of fear-mongers warning to the contrary. This is a double-edged sword in that it protects our privacy, but also allows us to masquerade as to who we want to be rather than who we really are. Therefore, someone online claiming to be a dead ringer for Pamela Anderson or David Hasselhof should more than likely be viewed with suspicion until they can prove otherwise. It has been my experience that as far as friendships go, one can generally size people up after about 1 month and be about 85-90 percent accurate in one's assessment, first impressions aside. I have learned to set aside my first impressions and hold off my judgement until I have read enough posts by the person and see what their online behavior is like. If the person is a phony or a creep, they'll generally tip their hand sooner or later, no matter how nice they're trying to act. Likewise, someone who comes online and acts completely obnoxious (and we've had our share of those) in order to get attention at first, will start to mellow out after awhile and start evidencing their true nature. As far as friendships go, I'd say yes, online friendships are EVERY bit as real as their non-cyber counterparts. However, I would approach any romantic involvement online with a large shaker of salt (forget the grain!) It takes time to get to know anyone, and just like someone can lie to you in the non-cyber world, they can lie to you online, and online it's a lot easier to cover one's tracks. I should like to think that my online friendships will be for a lifetime. Time will tell whether I am accurate in that assessment. http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz.gif |
We have talked about this quite a bit. I feel that my cyber or on-line frienships are just as valid and real as RL ones. Don't get me wrong, they are different, but I think they are valid. In a way, I liken it to a a long time ago when people were pen pals (except through e-mail and chat the communication is much faster). But people have always communicated and built relationships through different means other than seeing one another. So what do you think about your on-line or cyber friends?
------------------ Order of the Holy Flame Member of Clan HADB http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...ages/reeka.jpg |
Dearest Bilqis, this thread is a bomb waiting to explode which means a) it is surely a very relevant topic, one that had to be raised sooner or later in a setting like this one. b) I am more than wary to answer because the potential to hurt people is almost infinite ... It is too late here now and I am way too tired, but, depending on how things develop, I might come back and post here on one of the next days ... ------------------ So long ! R³ - proud to be the official spokesman for the most noble Lady Bilqis, Desert Rose of Ironworks Btw, the cow is queuing in the slaughterhouse right now ! |
Go here:
http://www.clanplaid.net Click on the "Gatherings" section. Look for "Waluin" http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif |
Running the risk of sounding stupid here but what is the link and of what relevance is it. I looked in there but it left me baffled, what's it all about? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/conf.gif
------------------ It's bleedin dark down here, slippery too. http://www.themelee.com/smilies/s/co...dvv/cwmdie.gif Man, that's a pisser. http://www.themelee.com/smilies/s/co...numbrella1.gif http://www.3dpcgames.com/cwm/s/cwm/cwm/piss.gif |
A good question to add would be if you were friends in RL with your cyber friends do you think the relationships would remain the same or even last?
What makes you believe you can trust your online friends not to gossip to others behind your back with people they know you don't like? Would you believe them if they denied it? I like and have respect for a lot of people I have met online, even some who can't stand me but I seriously doubt that if we ever hooked up in RL that things could or would be the same. I also think that people who "don't like" certain personas they know online might be pleasantly suprised by them in RL and vice versa about the ones they have taken to attaching themselves to. I am editing this to add: I have a few friends I have met online that I have made RL connections with, most I have kept, some just seemed to fizzle when we realized that the interests we share online are limited to the cyberworld. I met my best friend, Rex online and we still endure a close and personal relationship that is filled with fun and laughter after two years of living under the same roof. I also have a friend (in Z's town even http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ) that I maintain contact with through snail mail. I know if and when we meet in real life that our relationship will remain the same as it is now if not be a closer one since we have learned to love and understand one another in a way that makes us feel like family. After years of keeping in touch online and otherwise, a bond that deep can be counted on to be one that is real. Even better are the childhood and teenage friendships that have been renewed online since we became priveledged enough to become members of the cyberpopulation. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif It is the same online as it is in the real world...sometimes you click, other times you don't, but at least in RL you have the advantage of getting to know one another on a more personal level rather than making judgements based on simple misunderstandings or personal delusions (for lack of a better term) as to what your online friends are really like. Just my opinion. Moni ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 07-14-2001).] |
I agree with all of that Moni.
------------------ It's bleedin dark down here, slippery too. http://www.contrabandent.com/pez/cwm/cwm/piss2.gif Man, that's a pisser. http://www.3dpcgames.com/cwm/s/cwm/cwm/piss.gif |
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It took alot of friendship, comeraderie, and trust to finally decide to meet in real life. We each had a healthy online friendship and respect for each other far before. [This message has been edited by Waluin (edited 07-13-2001).] |
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http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Moni ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif |
ha, of course theyre real! my best friend on either side of reality or internet life (i refuse to call it reality cuz its soooo nice in here http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif) is someone who i met in a chat room on b.net (i doubt many of you know of this) when he was recruiting me into a gaming guild. ive stuck with him for 3 years now, and weve never backstabbed each other (we have our own lil codes of honor, and loyalty is included in both), and we helped each other through our problems, no matter how difficult they were. while we may not be able to see each others faces, a fact that leads to many mistaken meanings, i trust him more than anyone else my age that i know, and expect the same of him.
------------------ Proud member of the HADB. And remember, when you're thinking of giant heads, why not think of the Big Giant Head? |
I think it's a very interesting topic, Bilqis.
I have some friends, met online, whom I've met in rl and still talk to whenever I can. No it's not the same as having them right nearby, but now that we've met in person (numerous times) I don't think of them as 'cyber friends' anymore. They are solid rl acquaintances. I also feel that several of my current 'online' friends are likely to be people I'm in touch with for years if not forever. And yes, some will drift away but that's the nature of 'real life' too! I tend to agree with Sazerac that after a month or so you can get a good idea what the person is like. I would have to say that it takes much longer, at least for me, to form any 'lasting bonds' of friendship. I have done it with a few people here. I won't name names, you know who you are http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif. These are people I 'connect with' and who keep in touch as much as they can in posts/email/chat and real snail mail. People who genuinely care how I'm doing and for whom I spare a thought or a prayer fairly often. So yes, I call them friends. I think of all the other online people I know and communicate regularly with as good acquaintances. This place is brimming with nice people! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Since you did mention me in your post, dearest Javi, I just want to say that if I ever make it to your half of the world, rest assured, I'll visit you, no doubt about it! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Cloudy ------------------ http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/bestow1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever "To sleep, perchance to dream..." |
Interesting topic!
I think Internet friendships are pretty good most of the time. It is a lot easier to make friends, but also a lot easier to lose friends. Either by losing touch (which is very easy on the net), or by some other reason. I think I have got to know a few people on the board quite well through MSN and stuff, and its good to have a chat every now and then. I don't think cyber friends are that easy to keep though, if you rely on the net to stay in contact. Say someone loses their internet connection, it makes things difficult. I guess there is always email though. Without expactation and judgements though, anyone can be your friend (which sadly isn't true for a lot of people in RL). Just a few thoughts from the sylent one... ------------------ http://sylents.homestead.com/files/1.gif "Watch your back" |
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<Table><TR><TD Style = Filter:glow(Color=blue, strength=3)><Font Size = 3Color = #FFFFFF><h3>Friends are like stars...you may not always see them but you know they are always there.</h3></Font></TD></Table> </center> That goes for real-life and cyber; I don't make a distinction. The only difference is in the mode of communication! ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/memnochsig.gif [This message has been edited by Memnoch (edited 07-14-2001).] |
Memsypie? Um, dearest friend.. you are repeating yourself, with a gap.... LOLhttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
Did you sleep at all? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Cloudy ------------------ http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/bestow1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever "To sleep, perchance to dream..." |
Repeat? Dunno what you're talking about. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/memnochsig.gif |
They are only YOUR friends if you dont lie about yourself because then the person you are talking about dosen't exist, it isn't you.
------------------ "In Ankh-Morpork curiosity killed the cat, tied weights to its legs and then threw it in the river." Tiax, warmaster of clan HADB |
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Cloudy ------------------ http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/bestow1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever "To sleep, perchance to dream..." [This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 07-14-2001).] |
This is an interesting topic, and one that I've considered posting about many a time but never did for some reason. I've had a rather interesting experience with cyber friends. For a long time, I was very nervous about meeting someone on the net (with all the horror stories you here on the news about molesters and such) but one day I really wanted to know what goes on in chat rooms (I'd never been in one before this).
I decided to go into one of the many AOL chats and simply lurked about. After a while, with me having said nothing, someone invited me to IM. I decided "Why not?" and began to chat. I found out some about this person. It was a girl, just a couple years younger than me and that we shared many interests. We talked for about 45 minutes and thought we should keep in touch. I thought that would be kind of cool, having an online friend, I'd never had one before and I wanted to see if it would last any length of time. Well, the night after, I saw her online again and we began talking and things were really starting to click. We talked for about 3 hours or so and by the end of it, she was my girlfriend and I was her boyfriend. I thought this was rather odd, but I was willing to go through things for awhile at least until I was really sure of this. Over the next week, my feelings began to grow for her, and seemed, hers for me. Unfortuneatly, things took a rather bad turn, she was going to be losing internet access. As could be expected, I was VERY upset, and she seemed to be very much so as well. A few days later, she was offline. I attempted to send an e-mail but AOL said that her sn was no longer registered. I thought the worst and thought things were over but my feelings remained. I thought it very strange, how could you feel that way over the internet? I hadn't ever met her, I didn't even know what she looked like, and worst of all, she lived 700 miles away from me. After a month however, I received an e-mail from her! I was VERY excited and immediately e-mailed her back. We talked again over IM and things were, much to my surprise, the same way they were before she lost internet access. I was amazed and slightly confused but I wasn't going to do anything to ruin it. Our relationship continued on for a total of 3 and a half months. However, due to the distance between us and a lack of transportation between our 2 places, things didn't work out. It's been a little more than a month since our break-up now. As for my opinion on this topic, I believe that cyber-friends can be just as real as rl friends, in every aspect. There are a few differences though. One, it is much harder to maintain contact when your friendship is online, unless you have a means of getting in contact in rl. Second, in rl, you know who the person you're talking to is (better than you do online at least). Care should definitely be taken when approaching a friendship or romantic relationship online. You have to make sure you know who the person is before giving out any personal information (as Saz suggested, a month is a good amount of time). What I said above is a VERY short version of what went through my head and what happened. A lot more happened but I'm too tired right now to relate it all. Anyway, that's just my personal experience and my own opinions, I'm sure many people have had experiences much different than what I've had. -Jafin edit: I don't talk about this with just anybody, even with some of my rl friends so that shows yet again that cyber-friends can be and are just as real as rl friends. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif [This message has been edited by Jafin (edited 07-14-2001).] |
Hi, this has the potential to become one hell of a thread! Personally I've never been into a chat room or a forumn until this one and I've yet to visit another. It's kind of strange because I've always thought these sort of things were for people who didn't have "real friends". Yet, I came here just looking for a couple of answers to BGII questions and had a nose around some of the other threads for the sake of curiousity. I wouldn't say I've made friends with anyone here yet but I have enjoyed reading others opinions and giggled at some of the humour. This has led me to wonder what some of these people are like in real life. I agree with Sazerac in the regard that people do need to be wary of internet friendships because I believe you can never judge someones honesty unless you can look them in the eye. On the other hand, I've had no-one pestering me for details about myself and everything I've surrendered about me onto this site has been done willingly so there don't seem to be any ulterior motives. In short, if I was in the area of anyone I speak to on here I would like to meet up with them and would probably be able to develop a friendship with them. Friendship is one of the hardest things to classify as I have a friend who I do a lot for yet he is the most selfish guy in the world, I have another who I rarely see or speak to yet on the occasions we do meet up you'd think we were brothers. My motto for friendship has always been "Always put friends happiness above your own". If two people are doing this to each other then you have a friendship to last for an eternity, unfortunately the world is not that perfect and giving too much of yourself can lead to being let down.
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Well, Memnoch, but doesn't that say more about your personal attitude towards friendship than about the "objective" nature of friendships in general ? So, in the end, like always, in comes down to your own personality and what kind of friendships/relationships that allows you to establish and maintain. I leave to it the assessment of each of you if that is rather a very trite or a very scary idea ... ------------------ So long ! R³ - proud to be the official spokesman for the most noble Lady Bilqis, Desert Rose of Ironworks Btw, the cow is queuing in the slaughterhouse right now ! |
i agree with memnoch. i treat them as friends. i treat everyone as friends, and that is my weakness...
------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...hirotomoe1.gif Yukishiro Tomoe |
I spent the 1990s in disastrous relationships with people I met in RL. Aren't I smart? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/rolleyes.gif Anyway, last year I was hopping around different chat rooms and I met this person who turned out to be completely wonderful. After an appropriate time we met, decided that we were both sane and liked each other, and are now about to marry.
I believe that meeting people online has one advantage over face-to-face meetings--you are not concerned about anything except what the person is saying. Listen to what a person says (or types) and you can figure out their character; even the best liars can keep up pretenses for only so long. It all comes down to honest communication; remember--people carried on relationships via letters before the telephone. How is that different than the Internet? My own grandparents stayed together even though they saw each other only about 4 months out of 5 years during WWII, mostly because of the occasional letter. In short, there is no real difference between RL and the Internet anymore; both are equally risky. We could meet tomorrow and I could make up all sorts of stories about myself. How would you know? But then again, why would I? ------------------ An intelligent mind is the key to the universe. The most distressing thing about practicing magic is the fact that even the most learned sorcerers cannot accurately describe what magic *is*.... |
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Kinslayer, you method of arrival here sounds VERY familar. Back in January, I was looking for some hints as to how/where to complete a weapon in BGII. I put in the Baldurs Gate II into a search engine, found the site here, and actually was reading the walk-through (hangs head in shame). Once, I was on the Ironworks page and thought I was clicking in the Ironworks Network section and I clicked on the Forum section. After my confusion wore off, I clicked on a couple of threads, read some stuff, laughed, got angry, and laugh some more at people's jokes, trials, and antedotes.
A couple of days later Moiraine got into an accident. People here wondered what happened to here because she normally posts at a certain time of day, and she hadn't for a couple of days. Then someone got an email from her telling what happened, that person mentioned it here that she was in a somewhat serious accident and was hurt, along with her son. The next day, I came back an was amazed at the thread that was all well-wishers for her. Very long in a short period of time. So I logged in and posted my little get well thing (my first post, mind you) and when Moiraine came back, you could almost hear how happy it made her having all those E-wishes that she get better and that her and her son get well. She personally thanked each one of us by name, and noticed that she hadn't spoken to me before, thanked me, and told me to chat more with her later when things got settled in. For some reason, it made a connection with me, and I've been here ever since. I've met many, many people here, played a couple of games that I probably wouldn't of if it wasn't for this site, and I do consider many of you friends. Are they friends in the same way as my RL friends. No. It is same as the different between my friends at work and my friends away from work. Or the friends you have back home and the friends you have at college. It is just a different kind of friend, a different flavor, if you will. Does it make it any less person? In some ways yes, in some ways no. I could be this 50 yr old, 300 pound, balding, 4 foot talk black women, or I could be a 15 yr old chinese male will long, black hair that is barely 100 pounds. Does it matter? The concern I've shone for others is very real, the humor I've shared with you all is funny (I hope), and the fun I've had is very real. The point is, like all friendships, you get out of it what you put into it. If you take people at their face value, let them tell you their story, and if they want to lie, that's up to them. They are only hurting themselves by it, and if that what they need to feel good about themselves, then that is fine. If this site was all about being 100% truthful, we wouldn't, for most of us, be using names other than our own. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Will these last? No, most will not. My real life friends come and go, too, so that is not too big of shock. But, in real life, I have a handful of friends that are constants in my life, that I catch up on things with every few months, and it's like I never left. Same thing here. I expect there to be a couple of you whom I speak with every so often that really mean something. And I expect there is a couple of you to whom me jumping of the Virtual Cliff would not make you miss a beat. Such is life. But I do value my time here, and I value the connections I made here as much as some of the ones I've made in RL. Just in a different kind of way. BK |
I consider myself fortunate, indeed. I meet folks online - even on the boards here, and follow that with rl meetings. For me it is a matter of people are who they are, whether they are online or not. I am grateful for the friends I have met here and for the ones in rl. To me, they are all as valid and as real as anything else in this life.
According to a Buddhist monk friend, the reason that online relationships work a lot like rl ones, is because the electrical connection can be as powerful as a rl one. So when you are typing to your friend, you are literally connected through current. Just a thought. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif I have a couple of friends I have met online that I have had for years, and I have new ones that will be a challenge to keep up with when I am on the truck. I always strive to maintain contact... but you know that goes both ways! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif ------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/Charean.jpg Defender for the Light - Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!? Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva You are what your deep driving desire is; As your deep driving desire is, so is your will; As your will is so is your deed; As your deed is so is your destiny. The Upanishads |
Hm. Not an easy question for me to answer. I'm not good at making friends. I have a LOT of RL acquaintances that I know pretty well and see a lot of; but I only have three really good friends outside my family (I count my family my friends, too) - and I only see them occasionally.
Getting close to people is something I tend to avoid because I hate the pain if things go wrong or someone dies. Same on-line. I had two really good on-line friends - no, three - and I thought they would continue. But they didn't. It hurt. So - I keep most relationships light, both on-line and RL. The RL friends I have I trust utterly and I know they trust me. But more?... I guess I'm just a custard! ------------------ http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/bitchingcopy.gif http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/fljotsdale.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/EEhearts.gif |
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<Table><TR><TD Style = Filter:glow(Color=blue, strength=3)><Font Size = 3Color = #FFFFFF><h3>Meeting someone on the internet is like reading a book before you see the cover.</h3></Font></TD></Table>[/b] </center> That phrase I just heard today from a long time internet friend that I was meeting face-to-face for the first time. I think it's very apt. These last 2 weeks I have spent traveling on vacation. Last week I was in Halifax Nova Scotia visiting 2 people who were the very first friends I made when I first started chatting in mIRC. We met October 1996, and they were just beginning their online romance. They've now been married for 3 years, and I finally met them face-to-face. It was wonderful! I expect that we will continue to be friends for life. While there I also met another mutual chat friend of theirs & mine. A good experience all around. This past week I have spent visiting a close friend in Ohio that I met on mIRC also. Glassmaiden is a new member here, but she & I have been good friends for 3 years. This is our third meeting. Today we got together with Mike and his family. Glassmaiden has met him before, but this was my first face-to-face meeting with him. Another chat friend who is as fun in person as on chat. I have chatted with many people on the net over the 5+ years I have been using it. I have met several of them in person. For the most part, the meetings have gone well. They have all been very nice people. I have kept only a few as 'real' friends, and have only been really hurt once (emotionally)- and that time was due to lack of/poor communication more than cruelty. I don't regret any of it. Not bad in 5+ years in my opinion. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif The meeting face-to-face is important though. It is what seems to 'cement' the relationship into one that will carry on, or end. The meetings are often fun, but that's when one discovers if the chemistry is the same in person as it is online. Though the face-to-face meeting isn't 'essential'.... after all, look at my friends in Halifax. We've chatted for 5+ years and have not lost each other yet -- tho the meeting really was wonderful. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif I am one who has many 'real life' friends. I don't need the internet for friendships ... but this is the only place I have found people who understand my fascination & love of computers, CRPGs, and sci-fi/fantasy novels ~ all major interests in my life. This is also a wonderful way to meet people from all over the world. I plan to continue to meet and befriend people on the net. It's been a truly enriching experience for me. The cautions mentioned by others in this thread are real, and should be heeded. But as Sazerac said, if you give it some time, you will soon discover if someone is honestly being themselves, or playing a role. The truth always outs. Thank you for your well thought out responses everyone! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ http://www.paulbunyan.net/mnssc/bilqisd.gif Having abandoned my search for truth, I am now looking for a good fantasy. Thank you to the kind R³ for being such eloquent & witty spokesmen. [This message has been edited by bilqis (edited 07-14-2001).] |
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This thread is one of the best in a long, long time: so it is way too early to have it freefall. At the moment I unfortunately don't feel like I am able to contribute anything particularly meaningful myself, but I was seriously impressed by all of your inputs and I am hoping for more of that ! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif
------------------ So long ! R³ - proud to be the official spokesman for the most noble Lady Bilqis, Desert Rose of Ironworks Btw, the cow is queuing in the slaughterhouse right now ! |
I think that if both partys are honest it could be the best kind of friendships.You have the opportunity to get to know someone without any influence of any of the prejudices we all have.Be they positive or negative it's a survival instinct,when you first meet someone you always assume some things.In this forum you get the opportunity to know the person before forming these first impressions,that otherwise might unfortunatly stop you from getting to know that person.
------------------ <font color="cocooo">Trust is indeed a shiny jewel,</font><font color="eoa8oo">set in the stone of friendship.</font><font color="eo7ooo">And much like any other stone</font><font color="eo38oo"> can be use to crush the skulls of those unsuspecting.</font><font color="eooooo">To clear the path for me to claim</font><font color="cooo3o"> my rightfull place as master of all I survey.</font>http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif <marquee direction=right scroll amount=7> <font color="996633"]ooooooooooooo</font><font color="403000">..........</font><font color="ffffao">O</font><font color="996633"></font>,_ <font color="403000">.....</font>._.<font color="black">L</font>.<font color="red">=</font>\_: <font color="red">~</font><font color="yellow">~</font><font color="black">(_)</font>==<font color="black">(_)</font> </marquee> [This message has been edited by sageridder (edited 07-16-2001).] |
Power is being exchanged via on line. I do believe that true friendships can occur. But lets think this out for one moment. Everyone converse's with RP everyday. How many of you have made long lasting freinds with real time aspect. Narrowing down one's choices of who you would like to converse with in life can take many avenues. To myself, here and now, you all are real...and no one else.??
------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/portal.jpg Conan ~*~ |
Oke i dont have a unique experience here but it may be unique to this website.
I met my wife online while I lived in Dallas Texas. She lived in Melbourne Australia. We met in Yahoo chat. Talked for about 6 months online and on the phone. I fell for her in a huge way. I popped the question. April 27 of 2000 i got off the plane and met the love of my life. Ten days later we married (May 7) We now have a beautiful daughter together and are still very happy. The other neat thing about this is, in the room we chatted in in Yahoo we got to know alot of people. Several of them came to our wedding. Some of those that came are very close personal friends of mine now. I wouldnt trade them for anything. We have chatters parties at various bars around Melbourne. This weekend there will be another one and people form various parts of Australia are coming to meet all of us locals. ITS REALLY COOL. Ive already met about 70 people that I chat with and they are good people. Theyd give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. YES cyber friendships are real. But they dont have to be restricted to the internet. They are as real as you want to make them. i made my choice and uprooted my life and transplanted it on a another continent. Its been worth every minute of it. ------------------ THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!! |
Well I will say this... here you meet people you would never ever have a chance of meeting in person - likeminded people from half a globe away... or perhaps from 'round the corner. Who knows.
I got a few (not many) that I like a lot. One is a very nice girl who lives in Seattle (that is almost half a globe away from Denmark) .. a dude what lives in NY state. One lives in England, two or three other danes... I consider them friends as we have talked a lot together.. had a few bad situations. That is part of being friends. You can argue as hell and still know that there is a solid core of love somewhere down there. Of course cyber bad situations ain't as bad as RL bad situations, but they can hurt the feelings just as much. |
Of course cyber pals are real! Some of them more so than my rl friends. I make friends extremely slow in rl, and there are only a few people I can open up to. Naturally I don't have this problem over the internet. (If you haven' noticed) Over the net I can be the same person I am with my close rl friends. Not some quiet idiot, who doesn't say anything because he's to afraid of what you might think. It's much easier for me to make friends here, and if I met you over the net first, (In a place like this forum here) I could definitely be myself around ya.
------------------ Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just don't have to listen. http://train.missouri.org/~prestons/.../flamedrag.gif |
Interesting thread indeed...
I am actually meeting two people, that I met on the internet, for the first time tonight. We have chatted for a long while and I feel like I know them, but there is still that uncertainty and nervousness involved with meeting in RL. Online you can be yourself with the real threat of embarrassment, shame, anger, etc...if that happens you shut down your computer and do something else...in RL you can't do that. I have met other people before that I have met online and they have all been good experiences, but I think to make a true friendship there has to be more than words on a computer screen... ------------------ http://www.bestanimations.com/fantas.../dragon-04.gif Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig |
I have a number of friends both online and off, and the lines blurr. The offline friends I now have to keep in touch with mostly via the internet, and with some of the online friends I have been meeting up. From the board here, Moiraine, Melusine, Stealthy, Donut, Memnoch, Slackerboy, Nick1979, and also Reeka (voice only as yet) are more "real" now and the connection is stronger than before meeting.
There are pros and cons to internet communication. On the against, 90%? of communication is supposed to be body language so plenty is lost. I for one use my eyes a lot when talking, but obviously cannot translate this to typed words. Verbal communication covers much more ground in a shorter space of time than written, so much depth or history can be shared quickly. Then of course there is the hug. Such comfort a hug gives which needs no words. Yes the physical appearance on the net is negated, and so judgement is slower perhaps to be made, but then doesn't a persons appearance reflect part of the personality? A boldly dressed Feral resplendant with dreads, body piercing and tattered clothing is "making a statement" are they not? No words need to be used. This is not showing the whole picture of course, but still communicates much about the way they wish to be percieved. A person can use similar statements on the net. Some insecure kid trumping up and talking tough for example. Not the whole picture, but the way they want to be percieved is shown (even if the intent fails http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ) Some people I have found communicate much better in writing, and some much worse. I met some great folks in Europe and Asia with whom subsequent emails have been awkward and stilted due to the language barrier. (None of the guys on this board have that prob obviously!! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ) There was no problem communicating face to face with them, because language was not as important it seems. On the other hand I have friends in Sydney who communicate a little better in writing. Writing enables greater preconceived communique. How many of us wish we could take back a sentance verbally? In a letter, email or post we can. We can sit in the seat of the receiver and read our own words. Short of videotaping yourself, putting yourself in the receivers seat of your body/verbal language would be very hard. Have you ever known an actor BTW? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Gee I'm rattling on. Sorry. In short there is no virtuality. All is real communication, just varied in delivery and reception. At times we can and do switch from one to the other. I'm just very glad I've been able to meet some of the great personalities on this board. I can now put faces to names, see animation in the persons face when I read their words and no matter what happens, will not forget them in a long time. ------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... http://www.animfactory.com/animation...ing_lg_clr.gif A fair dinkum laughing Hyena! |
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