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Old 10-03-2007, 09:33 AM   #1
wellard
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Falling on Floor Laughing Chuck Norris

100 things you NEED to know about Chuck Norris...

* Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

* Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

* Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

* Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".


* On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

* Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.


* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

* A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.


You know we should have a 'Chuck Norris' day
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Old 10-03-2007, 09:41 AM   #2
johnny
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Default Re: Chuck Norris

Cool, a Chuck Norris thread, here we go.....

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Old 10-03-2007, 09:45 AM   #3
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Default Re: Chuck Norris

Oh yeah...forgot this one...



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Old 10-03-2007, 10:00 AM   #4
JrKASperov
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Default Re: Chuck Norris

* Chuck Norris once lost one of his testicles in a fight with a ninja. You might know it under the more common name of "Jupiter".
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Old 10-03-2007, 10:16 AM   #5
johnny
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Default Re: Chuck Norris

Whoa, Chuck has really been around, hasn't he?
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Old 10-03-2007, 11:27 AM   #6
Ladyzekke
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Default Re: Chuck Norris

I don't get all this Chuck Norris stuff. He's so old news, does he even make movies anymore?
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Old 10-03-2007, 11:58 AM   #7
Dreamer128
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Default Re: Chuck Norris

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladyzekke View Post
I don't get all this Chuck Norris stuff. He's so old news, does he even make movies anymore?
Be careful what you say. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer. And on Online Communities such as these, you never know if Chuck is watching. He could be any one of us!
Besides, Chuck is never 'old news'. Did you know that CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network"? It was meant to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

ps.

Check out http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com
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Old 10-03-2007, 12:18 PM   #8
Gnarf
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Default Re: Chuck Norris

Boy are we keeping up with the interwebs.

I just found this site with a most hilarious collection of parodies of some Budweiser commercial!
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Old 10-03-2007, 12:37 PM   #9
Jaradu
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Default Re: Chuck Norris

Sorry to piss on the bonfire.

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Old 10-03-2007, 12:44 PM   #10
johnny
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Default Re: Chuck Norris

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Originally Posted by Jaradu View Post
Sorry to piss on the bonfire.

That was just acting, Chuck beats the crap out of Bruce any day. Besides, who's dead, and who's still alive and kicking?
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