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Old 02-05-2002, 08:50 PM   #1
Downunda
Set - Egyptian God of Chaos
 

Join Date: January 7, 2002
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
Age: 45
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Anders Henriksson has written a compendium of the ramblings of ill-prepared college students from around the globe.
From thousands of papers and exams, he has plucked these gems

- During the Dark Ages, it was mostly dark.
- Hitlers instrumentality of terror was the Gespacho.
- Christianity was just another mystery cult until Jesus was born.
- The mother of Jesus was Mary, who was different from other woman because of her immaculate contraption.
- "History, a record of things left behind by past generations, started in 1815. Thus, we should try to view historical times as the behind of the present. This gives incite into the anals of the past.
- From the secondary sources we are given hindsight into the future. Hindsight, afterall, is caused by lack of foresight.
- Bible legend states that the trouble started after Eve ate the Golden Apple of Discord. This was the forbidding fruit. An angry God sent his wraith. Man fell from the space of grace. It was mostly downhill skiing from there.
- Social division of labour began when a tribe would split into hunters and togetherers. Crow Magnum man had a special infinity for this. Advances were most common during the intergalactic periods.
- Civilisation woozed out of the Nile about 300,000 years ago. The Nile was a river that had some water in it. Every year it would flood and irritate the land. This tended to make the people nervous.
- (Egyptian) Rulers were entitled Faroes. A famed one was King Toot. It was a special custom among them not to marry their wives.
- Zorroastrologism was founded by Zorro. This was a duellist religion. The three gods were "Good", "Bad" and "Indifferent". These beliefs later surfaced among the Manatees.
- Judyism was the first monolithic religion. It had one big God named "Yahoo". Old Testament profits include Moses, Amy and Confucious, who believed in Fidel Piety. (One of the only reasons Confucious was born was because of a Chinese tradition.)
- Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships with her face. The Trojan War raged between the Greeks and the Tories. The Greeks finally won because they had wooden horses while the Trojans were only able to fight with their feet.
- Greek semen ruled the Agean. We know about this thanks to Homer's story about Ulysees Grant and Iliad, the painful wife he left behind. another myth with a message was Jason's hunt for the Golden Fleas.
- Religion was polyphonic. Featured were gods such as Herod, Mars, and Juice. Persepolis was god of vegetables. Souls were beleived to spend the "here, there and after" in Ethiopia.
- Plato invented reality. He was teacher to Harris Tottle, author of the Republicans. Lust was a must for the Epicurians. Others were the vegetarians and the synthetics, who said "If you can't play with it, why bother?"
- U. Clid proved that there was more than one side to every plain. Pythagasaurus fathered the triangle. Archimedes made the first steamboat and power drill.
- Finally Europe caught the Black Death. The bubonic plague is a social disease in the sense that it can be transmitted by intercourse and other etceteras. It was spread from port to port by inflected rates. It was then passed around by midgets.
- Victims of the black death grew boobs on their necks. Death rates exceeded 100 percent in some towns.

This book is currently on the New York Times best seller list
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Old 02-05-2002, 08:55 PM   #2
Vaskez
Takhisis Follower
 

Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
LMAO....seen some of these before but still LMAO
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Old 02-05-2002, 08:56 PM   #3
Scholarcs
Red Dragon
 

Join Date: December 5, 2001
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Age: 38
Posts: 1,557
ha, those are pretty funny, here is another:
-Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.
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Old 02-06-2002, 12:23 AM   #4
Lifetime
Red Dragon
 

Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: Scotch College, Melbourne
Posts: 1,503
quote:
Originally posted by Scholarcs:
ha, those are pretty funny, here is another:
-Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.



ROFLMAO! [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]
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