How Hot Is It?

Arvon · 07-27-2006, 09:17 AM

As you know much of the US has had a heat wave for the past several days. How hot has it been? Well...

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You can say 113 degrees (45°C) without fainting.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

Or go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on your lap -- just to cool off!

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 (35°C), you feel a bit chilly.

You have experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You discover that in July, it takes only two fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

It is noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

They don't bother making themometers that go below 70 degrees.

robertthebard · 07-27-2006, 09:27 AM

Addendum: You have to carry a kickstand sized piece of plywood in order to park your m/c at the grocery store.

Bungleau · 07-27-2006, 09:49 AM

LOL! Those are great!

Dundee Slaytern · 07-27-2006, 10:09 AM

Tis amusing. [img]smile.gif[/img]

bubbe · 07-27-2006, 01:36 PM

This one made me laugh:

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

vesselle · 07-27-2006, 01:48 PM

for me, not funny. just true.
but you forgot one.
~ swimming pools at night are still hot enough to boil eggs.

3rd day in a row of 118'F

Lauren · 07-27-2006, 06:20 PM

Gee sounds really bad over there... is it just really hot, or is it hot and humid?
Where I am it gets hot AND humid which is really bad, makes you feel like you're melting to death and the walls in the house sometimes condensate during the day because they get cold during the night... well cold enough to condensate when hot/humid air hits it.

Captain Obvious · 07-30-2006, 09:16 PM

It seems us southern hemisphere types are lucky it is winter here, altohugh we broke all rainfall/coldness records for july, so the weather is crap everywhere.

We thought Aussie was much better than NZ in terms of humidity - it only has to be 25C where i live and you are losing the will to live. In Aussie it was like 37C and no worries.

07-27-2006, 09:17 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	As you know much of the US has had a heat wave for the past several days. How hot has it been? Well... The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. The cows are giving evaporated milk. The trees are whistling for the dogs. You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. You can say 113 degrees (45°C) without fainting. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. Or go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on your lap -- just to cool off! You can make instant sun tea. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95 (35°C), you feel a bit chilly. You have experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! You discover that in July, it takes only two fingers to drive your car. You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. It is noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. They don't bother making themometers that go below 70 degrees. __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

07-27-2006, 09:27 AM	#2
robertthebard Xanathar Thieves Guild Join Date: March 17, 2001 Location: Wichita, KS USA Age: 60 Posts: 4,537	Addendum: You have to carry a kickstand sized piece of plywood in order to park your m/c at the grocery store. __________________ To those we have lost; May your spirits fly free. Good Music: Here. Interesting read, one of my blogs.

07-27-2006, 09:49 AM	#3
Bungleau 40th Level Warrior Join Date: October 29, 2001 Location: Western Wilds of Michigan Posts: 11,752	LOL! Those are great! __________________ B Save Early, Save Often Save Before, Save After Two-Star General, Spelling Soldiers -+-+-+ Give 'em a hug one more time. It might be the last.

07-27-2006, 01:36 PM	#5
bubbe Zhentarim Guard Join Date: October 19, 2005 Location: Sweden Age: 37 Posts: 318	This one made me laugh: Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. __________________ Sorry about my bad english!

07-27-2006, 01:48 PM	#6
vesselle Hathor Join Date: April 6, 2001 Location: the desert Posts: 2,296	for me, not funny. just true. but you forgot one. ~ swimming pools at night are still hot enough to boil eggs. 3rd day in a row of 118'F __________________ my best friend is a junkie. what does your best friend do?

07-27-2006, 10:09 AM	#4
Dundee Slaytern Ironworks Moderator Join Date: June 10, 2001 Location: Pasir Ris, Singapore Age: 41 Posts: 11,063	Tis amusing. [img]smile.gif[/img]

07-27-2006, 06:20 PM	#7
Lauren Baaz Draconian Join Date: May 24, 2004 Location: Bundaberg, Queensland, Australia Age: 35 Posts: 721	Gee sounds really bad over there... is it just really hot, or is it hot and humid? Where I am it gets hot AND humid which is really bad, makes you feel like you're melting to death and the walls in the house sometimes condensate during the day because they get cold during the night... well cold enough to condensate when hot/humid air hits it. __________________ "So many thoughts running through my head, I know what you feel, I know what you dread; When a room's filled with laughter, when a room's filled with lies, you're the only one I know that's in disguise..."

07-30-2006, 09:16 PM	#8
Captain Obvious Elminster Join Date: May 21, 2006 Location: New Zealand Age: 41 Posts: 420	It seems us southern hemisphere types are lucky it is winter here, altohugh we broke all rainfall/coldness records for july, so the weather is crap everywhere. We thought Aussie was much better than NZ in terms of humidity - it only has to be 25C where i live and you are losing the will to live. In Aussie it was like 37C and no worries. __________________ I am the Walrus!

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