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Old 05-30-2001, 06:34 PM   #1
Cloudbringer
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
Hello and welcome once again to Cloudy's Corner! Come in, sit down and swap a story, a joke a little something to chuckle at!

This is one of those things that is circulating out there on the net. Have you got one to share? Enjoy!


A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, come in, too?" the traveler asked.

I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate.
"Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain:

"When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do -- you send jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you send jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you send jokes."

"And to let you know that: you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?
A joke from me."

"So ,next time if you get a joke, don't think that I have sent you just a joke, but that have thought of you today and wanted to send you a smile."



Cloudy


------------------
Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight
Heart Mind Soul Forever

[This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 05-30-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 05-30-2001).]
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Old 05-30-2001, 06:36 PM   #2
Gaelic
Elminster
 

Join Date: April 28, 2001
Location: Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA
Posts: 490
In that spirit:

There once was a man from Nantucket...



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Gaelic
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Old 05-30-2001, 06:36 PM   #3
RudeDawg
20th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: April 9, 2001
Location: Dallas, Tx, USA
Age: 54
Posts: 2,830
aaaaawwwwwww *sniff*

I love y'all....

GROUP HUG !!!!

{{{{{{{{{IronWorks}}}}}}}}}

------------------

The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
"Let them come. Let them ALL come."
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Old 05-30-2001, 07:26 PM   #4
Cloudbringer
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
TEEHEE!

TO EXERCISE OR NOT TO EXERCISE

1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

2. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She is now 97 and we don't know where the hell she is.

3. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

4. I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

5. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing.

6. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

7. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

8. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

9. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.


HAHAHAHA...er, *giggle*

Cloudy

------------------
Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight
Heart Mind Soul Forever
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Old 05-30-2001, 08:37 PM   #5
Fljotsdale
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 

Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Birmingham, West Mid\'s, England
Age: 87
Posts: 2,859
ROFLMAO!! Specially the flabby thighs covered by stomach.... ROFLMAO! It reminds me of my mirror!

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Old 05-30-2001, 09:55 PM   #6
Cloudbringer
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
HI F! I am rather partial to number 7:
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

hehehe


Cloudy

------------------
Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight
Heart Mind Soul Forever
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Old 05-30-2001, 09:56 PM   #7
RudeDawg
20th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: April 9, 2001
Location: Dallas, Tx, USA
Age: 54
Posts: 2,830
I love exercize. I could watch it all day long.

------------------

The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Pfil.

"Let them come. Let them ALL come."
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Old 05-30-2001, 10:24 PM   #8
Sir Taliesin
Silver Dragon
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: Knoxville, TN USA
Age: 60
Posts: 1,641
Cloudy, got your lawnmower yet?
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Old 05-30-2001, 10:27 PM   #9
onthepequod
Quintesson
 

Join Date: April 6, 2001
Location: two leagues down
Posts: 1,081
Quote:
Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
HI F! I am rather partial to number 7:
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

hehehe


Cloudy

Onthepequod, just finishing his long walk, overhears part of the conversation. What?!?



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Old 05-30-2001, 11:33 PM   #10
Cloudbringer
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
Quote:
Originally posted by onthepequod:
Onthepequod, just finishing his long walk, overhears part of the conversation. What?!?


HAHAHA! You will need an even LONGER walk after I get my room at LadyZekke's cleaned out!

Cloudy

------------------
Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight
Heart Mind Soul Forever
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