What is your one single weakness that you'll never be cured of?

[250]

Originally posted by Kaz: YAHOO! i thought I was the only one here!!! CELEBRATE!!! Khalid you are not alone you have friends at Ironworks Forum!!!

you are not along in the world, brother. most children develope more or less kind speech disorder during their years of learning language. I dont know the exact figures, but even adults tend to be stuttering when they are under extreme pressure

of course, it is not the same for everyone. as most children adopted a more completed and stronger personality when they walk into adulthood, they could rid of themselves the problem of stuttering.

stuttering is not something formed in one day. when a child is young, the often discourage behaviors from parents, especially mother, can cause a damage in the language learning process. because mother is the first teacher that a child contacts, and mother expresses her own idea of the world by constantly talking to her child. if parents are impatience, not-observant to the many common speech problems that a child might have, the child will be fearful of communication around others, etc

of course, that is not the only reason why someone stutters. but remember that, most stuters are not pre-linguistically disabled. it is something called Fear that masters your situation, and more than often, stutters know this. knowing doesn't equal to improving until one is determined to face his fear.

i will give you some simple tips that you might find useful:

first of all, list a series of situations that you might find difficulty stand, from the lowest to the highest, and i will use my case here:

1. talking to a new friend when we are alone
2. talking in front of mroe than two friends
3. talking to a complete stranger (most of the time, professor)
4. talking to a group of unfamiliar people
5. making presentation in class

start with the first, and patiently but firmly advance. DO NOT be afraid to talk. if you think you have the potential to talk to certain people, and at the same time, you fear is telling you to get the hell out. DONT, try start some short conversations, then build it longer as you get used to it.

just remember, the best way to battle fear is to stand up and face it. of course, you must know your limit and take time in the process. be ready, it is long.

second tip is:
imagine someone that is confidence, Shalock Homles (sp?), Winston Churchil (sp?), one fo your best friend (maybe?) and always think about how those people do things

third tip:
constantly encourage yourself. you need a possitve attitude to face your problem, and you must know it will not go away itself until you do something about it. just remember to say those phrases everyday:" I will remain calm and confidence. even if I screw up a conversation, I woudn't care about it." something like that, and of course, you must firmly believe what you say.

one last advice, DO NOT EVER SHUT YOURSELF FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD. this is a warning, a suggestion and a painful experience I got from the past. DO NOT EVER!!

[domingo]

Originally posted by Larry_OHF: This took off faster than I thought it would. Well, Gabe hit on one of the lesser aspects of myself, and that is emotions. I can usually handle pressure to a good long distance, but whoever pushes over the ledge, so to speak had better run, duck, hide, whatever, because I become a differnet person. I have a terrible temper. But that is not my largest,most difficult and embarrising weakness. Ok...this is not easy to explain, because you will have predetermined ideas of what I am saying before I finish. So, even after you see what I say next...please continue reading to understand the whole concept, not the little starter phrase...ready? ...................... My worst weakness is with beautiful ladies. The problem is that I can become easily charmed by the right girl. And I am referring to the spell, Charm. I can get lost in a pair of eyes. I can get entangled in a brunette's long silky hair. I totally lose my breath and forget about everything for that moment, as I see one of these angelic beings. I do not know how to explain what comes over me, except that I would murder if I was asked by this angel. I can fall into complete freeze, and feel sadness as I gaze upon her. I cannot get rid of this curse! Try as I might, A pretty woman can have her way with me. I become a stupid puppet. There is a part in the novel Evermeet, by Elaine Cunningham that sugested that when the goddess (???) left the presence of the two elves (moon elves), they felt remorse and sadness deeper than the death of their most beloved could ever be. I can relate to that. I also feel an emptiness the moment a good lady has left my sight. Now, the requisits are as follows: -Brunettes are more likely than Blondes to succeed. -A foreign accent gains more points than sheer beauty. -Green eyes are more likely to hipnotize me. -A singing voice also rules over sheer beauty. -Must be a girl (woman) of virtue...(no tramps or easy women) -Must sound feminine in voice.

I too was once "charmed" by a ladie and looking back on it I realized that she was one of the most evil people I have ever met .... I have since vowed to be much more careful and to learn more about a person before I fall head over heals for them.

[Yorick]

Originally posted by Larry_OHF: I believe I am far deeper than just male/female chemistry. I would die, protecting a total stranger!

There are circumstances where I would too Larry.

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I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on....

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

[This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 08-23-2001).]

Doing the things I dont want to do and not doing the things I want to do...

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*\Conan/*

[MILAMBER]

Like Kaz mentioned, I get sucked into arguements too quickly. I could just be walking down the street and I hear two people arguing about something, and I think one of them's wrong, there is a very good chance I will jump in there and donate my 2 cents to the conversation. I am also kinda defensive when someone questions my judgement/actions.

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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)

Member of CLAN HADB

[Sharpedge]

Originally posted by Larry_OHF: This took off faster than I thought it would. Well, Gabe hit on one of the lesser aspects of myself, and that is emotions. I can usually handle pressure to a good long distance, but whoever pushes over the ledge, so to speak had better run, duck, hide, whatever, because I become a differnet person. I have a terrible temper. But that is not my largest,most difficult and embarrising weakness. Ok...this is not easy to explain, because you will have predetermined ideas of what I am saying before I finish. So, even after you see what I say next...please continue reading to understand the whole concept, not the little starter phrase...ready? ...................... My worst weakness is with beautiful ladies. The problem is that I can become easily charmed by the right girl. And I am referring to the spell, Charm. I can get lost in a pair of eyes. I can get entangled in a brunette's long silky hair. I totally lose my breath and forget about everything for that moment, as I see one of these angelic beings. I do not know how to explain what comes over me, except that I would murder if I was asked by this angel. I can fall into complete freeze, and feel sadness as I gaze upon her. I cannot get rid of this curse! Try as I might, A pretty woman can have her way with me. I become a stupid puppet. There is a part in the novel Evermeet, by Elaine Cunningham that sugested that when the goddess (???) left the presence of the two elves (moon elves), they felt remorse and sadness deeper than the death of their most beloved could ever be. I can relate to that. I also feel an emptiness the moment a good lady has left my sight. Now, the requisits are as follows: -Brunettes are more likely than Blondes to succeed. -A foreign accent gains more points than sheer beauty. -Green eyes are more likely to hipnotize me. -A singing voice also rules over sheer beauty. -Must be a girl (woman) of virtue...(no tramps or easy women) -Must sound feminine in voice.

It seems you are 'afflicted' with a deep sense of passion. It can be both a blessing and a curse. Some of the most astounding poets and philosophers have the same trouble... but is it really something to be feared? I don't think so, so long as you will not violate your most important principals because of it.

I know where you're coming from, and have written long poems myself to vent the sheer anguish I have felt from just looking at a woman. If she strikes the right chords in me, I'm right there with you. Can't concentrate, can't think straight, can't even talk. Like I said, a blessing and a curse. Enjoy the zest for life it gives you. But don't loose the important elements that make you you because of it.

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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

[Larry_OHF]

Originally posted by Sharpedge: It seems you are 'afflicted' with a deep sense of passion. It can be both a blessing and a curse. Some of the most astounding poets and philosophers have the same trouble... but is it really something to be feared? I don't think so, so long as you will not violate your most important principals because of it. I know where you're coming from, and have written long poems myself to vent the sheer anguish I have felt from just looking at a woman. If she strikes the right chords in me, I'm right there with you. Can't concentrate, can't think straight, can't even talk. Like I said, a blessing and a curse. Enjoy the zest for life it gives you. But don't loose the important elements that make you you because of it.

Wow!!!
That is an awsome term...passionate.
Thank you for that.
Maybe I should take up poetry or painting...
I am glad to know that I have someone to share all these wonderful angels with...



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Devoted member of the Ironworks
Loyal guardian of the OHF
Member of the Ancients' club
Faith beset in The Rocks
(they show the way, you know...)

[Kaz]

Originally posted by 250: you are not along in the world, brother. most children develope more or less kind speech disorder during their years of learning language. I dont know the exact figures, but even adults tend to be stuttering when they are under extreme pressure of course, it is not the same for everyone. as most children adopted a more completed and stronger personality when they walk into adulthood, they could rid of themselves the problem of stuttering. stuttering is not something formed in one day. when a child is young, the often discourage behaviors from parents, especially mother, can cause a damage in the language learning process. because mother is the first teacher that a child contacts, and mother expresses her own idea of the world by constantly talking to her child. if parents are impatience, not-observant to the many common speech problems that a child might have, the child will be fearful of communication around others, etc of course, that is not the only reason why someone stutters. but remember that, most stuters are not pre-linguistically disabled. it is something called Fear that masters your situation, and more than often, stutters know this. knowing doesn't equal to improving until one is determined to face his fear. i will give you some simple tips that you might find useful: first of all, list a series of situations that you might find difficulty stand, from the lowest to the highest, and i will use my case here: 1. talking to a new friend when we are alone 2. talking in front of mroe than two friends 3. talking to a complete stranger (most of the time, professor) 4. talking to a group of unfamiliar people 5. making presentation in class start with the first, and patiently but firmly advance. DO NOT be afraid to talk. if you think you have the potential to talk to certain people, and at the same time, you fear is telling you to get the hell out. DONT, try start some short conversations, then build it longer as you get used to it. just remember, the best way to battle fear is to stand up and face it. of course, you must know your limit and take time in the process. be ready, it is long. second tip is: imagine someone that is confidence, Shalock Homles (sp?), Winston Churchil (sp?), one fo your best friend (maybe?) and always think about how those people do things third tip: constantly encourage yourself. you need a possitve attitude to face your problem, and you must know it will not go away itself until you do something about it. just remember to say those phrases everyday:" I will remain calm and confidence. even if I screw up a conversation, I woudn't care about it." something like that, and of course, you must firmly believe what you say. one last advice, DO NOT EVER SHUT YOURSELF FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD. this is a warning, a suggestion and a painful experience I got from the past. DO NOT EVER!!

Thank you for your support!
I doubt stuttering will disappear in my case because when it does it almost always does it before the age of twelve or so. After that the problem simply disappearing is EXTREMELY rare.
I manage quite well by now, i actually TALK in class and managed a PRESENTATION last year, something i am still very proud of. However, i basically cannot talk in front of strangers and my greatest fear is and remains - the oral test at the end of this year. I believe the only thing I will be able to say there is

[250]

Originally posted by Kaz: Thank you for your support! I doubt stuttering will disappear in my case because when it does it almost always does it before the age of twelve or so. After that the problem simply disappearing is EXTREMELY rare. I manage quite well by now, i actually TALK in class and managed a PRESENTATION last year, something i am still very proud of. However, i basically cannot talk in front of strangers and my greatest fear is and remains - the oral test at the end of this year. I believe the only thing I will be able to say there is

well, alot people are like you, stutter or none-stutter alike
the point is, try to engage yourself with other people more

here is some typical thoughts when someone is shy
"help me, help me please... dont walk away from me, i want to talk to you, i am just too shy and embarassed to talk, please please please talk to me...."

or "i will start a conversation with her... wait, what if she thinks i am not cool, what if she laughs at me... or damn, there are so many people around... go away... talk to her, no, not talk to her, no talk to her... "



what i found useful is: try to engage a conversation with 3 ppl of different age and gender each day... doesnt have to be long

for example, you stand in line to purchase fast food, this is a VERY reasonable and good opportunity to engage conversation with your front or behind person. you should start with short but clear messages, such as: "hello, how are you?"
"the line is not moving" "like the food here?" "got milk? (just kidding)"
the key is, use this kinda progressive language to FORCE the other person follow the conversation

and then, there is another thing i learnt is, never use negative answers

[Kaz]

Er... i think stutterers have a bit more difficulty with that than normal shy people (even THINKING of doing something like that gets me into a panic. A friend of mine who also stutters was very proud of, even (unconsciously) bragged about answering the phone one day instead of having someone else do it. Heck, whenever I have to make a telephone call i think, word for word, what im going to say. And practice. That should tell you something of us - where normal people think oh god ill say something stupid stutterers think oh god ill stutter and everyone will look at me strangely and think im crazy. If youre nervous you stutter more and worse than when youre not. Still thanks for the suggestion, maybe ill be able to work myself up to do it one day. I never meant to write so much but since other people are revealing embarassing aspects of themselves i guess i will too.