Oh God Another Blonde Joke

Arvon · 01-26-2002, 10:33 AM

Blondes in Heaven

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, 'What is Easter?'

The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful...'

'Wrong!,' replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, 'What is Easter?'

The second blonde replies, 'Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.'

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, 'What is Easter?'

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, 'I know what Easter is.'

'Oh?' says St. Peter, incredulously.

'Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.'

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

The third blonde continues, 'Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.'

Vaskez · 01-26-2002, 10:43 AM

DOH!

Reeka · 01-26-2002, 11:36 AM

I thought we had an agreement around here, no blonde jokes.

Vaskez · 01-26-2002, 11:41 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Reeka:
I thought we had an agreement around here, no blonde jokes.

Reeka, I'm sure he's only referring to blondes whose names begin with the letters A-Q,S-Z

Melusine · 01-26-2002, 11:47 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Vaskez:

Reeka, I'm sure he's only referring to blondes whose names begin with the letters A-Q,S-Z

Like ME you mean? [img]graemlins/1pissed.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Actually I love blonde jokes! Bring 'em on!

01-26-2002, 11:53 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Reeka:
I thought we had an agreement around here, no blonde jokes.

Quite right too

*Disintegrates Arvon*

and let that be a lesson to you

Reeka · 01-26-2002, 02:37 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Vaskez:

Reeka, I'm sure he's only referring to blondes whose names begin with the letters A-Q,S-Z

Oh, Vas, that just makes me feel tons better. But I think he has managed to iritate some of the other blondes around.

Lioness · 01-26-2002, 04:04 PM

*tries to figure out where 'L' is in the alphabet*

hmmm...well, I'm a strawberry-blonde...*looks around as everyone smothers laughter*

*sigh*

Neb · 01-26-2002, 04:09 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Vaskez:

Reeka, I'm sure he's only referring to blondes whose names begin with the letters A-Q,S-Z

*Notices that the letter K is not exempt* Oh Vaaskeeeeez, I think you'd better start running...... *Makes a few practice swings with a spiked baseball bat*

Vaskez · 01-26-2002, 04:22 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Melusine:

Like ME you mean? [img]graemlins/1pissed.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Actually I love blonde jokes! Bring 'em on!

Fair enough, here's a good old one for blondes whose names begin with M

:

A blonde loses her job and after a while begins running short on cash so she decides to kidnap a school kid and hold him for ransom. She hides behind a tree in the school playground and when no teachers are looking she jumps out, grabs a little boy and runs behind the tree with him. She writes a note: "I want 1 million dollars behind the tree in the playground by tomorrow if you want to see your son alive!"
She sticks the note to the boy's back and tells him to go home [img]tongue.gif[/img] . The next day, as she expected, there is a big bag of money behind the tree, with a note attached: "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

01-26-2002, 10:33 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Blondes in Heaven Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, 'What is Easter?' The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful...' 'Wrong!,' replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, 'What is Easter?' The second blonde replies, 'Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.' St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, 'What is Easter?' The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, 'I know what Easter is.' 'Oh?' says St. Peter, incredulously. 'Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.' St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, 'Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.' __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

01-26-2002, 10:43 AM	#2
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	DOH! __________________ Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray

01-26-2002, 11:36 AM	#3
Reeka Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: March 2, 2001 Location: Birmingham, Alabama, USA Age: 70 Posts: 3,255	I thought we had an agreement around here, no blonde jokes. __________________ <b>Order of the Holy Flame</b><br /><i>Member of Clan HADB</i><br /><b>Laughing Hyena</b><br /><i>Clan Liaison, IW Peace Keeping Force</i><br /><i>[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com/Forum/index.php?board=29\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River VoiceChat!</a><br />Last Saturday of every month. <br />See the forum link for scheduling!<br /><b> </b><br /></i><br /><b>Admin and Co-Owner of [url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River</a></b><br />[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\"></a>

01-26-2002, 11:41 AM	#4
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	quote: Originally posted by Reeka: I thought we had an agreement around here, no blonde jokes. Reeka, I'm sure he's only referring to blondes whose names begin with the letters A-Q,S-Z __________________ Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray

01-26-2002, 11:47 AM	#5
Melusine Dracolisk Join Date: January 8, 2001 Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands Age: 43 Posts: 6,541	quote: Originally posted by Vaskez: Reeka, I'm sure he's only referring to blondes whose names begin with the letters A-Q,S-Z Like ME you mean? [img]graemlins/1pissed.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] Actually I love blonde jokes! Bring 'em on! __________________ [img]\"hosted/melusine.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Your voice is ambrosia

01-26-2002, 11:53 AM	#6
Lord Shield Guest Posts: n/a	quote: Originally posted by Reeka: I thought we had an agreement around here, no blonde jokes. Quite right too Disintegrates Arvon and let that be a lesson to you

01-26-2002, 02:37 PM	#7
Reeka Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: March 2, 2001 Location: Birmingham, Alabama, USA Age: 70 Posts: 3,255	quote: Originally posted by Vaskez: Reeka, I'm sure he's only referring to blondes whose names begin with the letters A-Q,S-Z Oh, Vas, that just makes me feel tons better. But I think he has managed to iritate some of the other blondes around. __________________ <b>Order of the Holy Flame</b><br /><i>Member of Clan HADB</i><br /><b>Laughing Hyena</b><br /><i>Clan Liaison, IW Peace Keeping Force</i><br /><i>[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com/Forum/index.php?board=29\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River VoiceChat!</a><br />Last Saturday of every month. <br />See the forum link for scheduling!<br /><b> </b><br /></i><br /><b>Admin and Co-Owner of [url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\">The Silver River</a></b><br />[url]\"http://www.the-silver-river.com\" target=\"_blank\"></a>

01-26-2002, 04:04 PM	#8
Lioness Jack Burton Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: Among the Stars Age: 36 Posts: 5,837	tries to figure out where 'L' is in the alphabet hmmm...well, I'm a strawberry-blonde...looks around as everyone smothers laughter sigh __________________ [img]\"ubb/noncgi/smiles/lioness1.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /> <br /><br />Premier Waitress/Smacker of Cloudy\'s Cafe<br /><br />\"the only people for me are the mad ones...\"

01-26-2002, 04:09 PM	#9
Neb Account deleted by Request Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: . Age: 38 Posts: 8,802	quote: Originally posted by Vaskez: Reeka, I'm sure he's only referring to blondes whose names begin with the letters A-Q,S-Z Notices that the letter K is not exempt Oh Vaaskeeeeez, I think you'd better start running...... Makes a few practice swings with a spiked baseball bat

01-26-2002, 04:22 PM	#10
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	quote: Originally posted by Melusine: Like ME you mean? [img]graemlins/1pissed.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] Actually I love blonde jokes! Bring 'em on! Fair enough, here's a good old one for blondes whose names begin with M : A blonde loses her job and after a while begins running short on cash so she decides to kidnap a school kid and hold him for ransom. She hides behind a tree in the school playground and when no teachers are looking she jumps out, grabs a little boy and runs behind the tree with him. She writes a note: "I want 1 million dollars behind the tree in the playground by tomorrow if you want to see your son alive!" She sticks the note to the boy's back and tells him to go home [img]tongue.gif[/img] . The next day, as she expected, there is a big bag of money behind the tree, with a note attached: "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?" __________________ Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray

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