Your DUMBEST Homeland Security Idea Here!

[Ilander]

When in doubt, read them Vogon poetry!

Anyway, for those of you who have not read the Hithikers guide to the galaxy...another suggestion!

Just fill the cabin with whirling blades of death! The terrorists won't be able to get in!

[Timber Loftis]

Spring gun on cockpit door.

Let Wesley Snipes be a permanent Passenger 57.

Shoe sole shooters that automatically activate during terrorist takeover. Forget the whirling blades of death, just make them run away.

Make everyone getting on a plane take everything out of their pockets, remove belt and shoes, toss everything into a pile and get searched. Then scramble to find their things among all the items in the pile. Oh, wait, we already do that.

Comedian Richard Jennings had the best idea -- disallow turbans on airplane flights. Look, I respect everyone's right to religious headgear, but for 3 frikkin hours you can remove the damned thing so you don't scare the hell out of us all. C'mon, man, teamwork.

Easy-off velcro stewardess uniforms and tasers. Terrorist takeover occurs, stewardesses rip off their uniforms and Taser the terrorists while they have their eyes averted.

[quietman1920]

Require all airplane passengers to embark & fly Totally Nekkid (diapers & Depends as needed).

First class passengers get lockers and a changing room on board; coach changes in a drafty converted airplane hangar. All windows are eliminated, as the cabin has been converted to a thoughtful steam room to open pores an promote good health ("Breathe, my pasty friend...Breathe!!!").

Oh, and only first class seats ...erm... fully recline...

[Bungleau]

TSA is the Transportation Safety Administration, the lovely and talented folks who now inspect you to make sure you're safe to fly.

They're much better than the low-paid amateurs who used to do the job before 9/11. I mean, they're government employees and all.

Ignore the fact that the majority of them are the same brilliant people who were on duty prior to 9/11. That's just an illusion... they're better now. Really. Honest injun. No kidding [img]smile.gif[/img]

As for my silly suggestion, carry a bomb onto every flight with you. Statistically, the odds of you getting onto a plane with a bomb are high. The odds of you getting onto a plane with TWO bombs is astronomical...

[Firestormalpha]

Strange I thought TSA was one of the airlines that went down several years ago. There were like two plane crashes that year, one of them went down in the everglades.

[Timber Loftis]

THe one that went down in the everglades was ValuJet, I believe, owned by Ross Perot (who does a decent Dumbo impersonation when he's partying).

[Sythe]

Originally posted by Paladin2000: Why don't you just sedate every passenger as soon as the plane starts to taxi?

Someone said that before and I think it was Melisune or Kakero who said "Well what if some of the flight attendants get an "itchy hand" [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

[Malavon's Rage]

Originally posted by The Whackmiester: Got a crazy idea for Homeland Security? Post it here! The Whackmiester's Idea: The TSS (Terrorist Suction System) 1. Terrorists are in isles of plane. 2. Pilot presses a button 3. Iron shutters close to protect passangers. 4. Cielings open up. 5. Terrorists are sucked out of the plane 6. Ceiling closes. 7. Shutters lift 8. Everything returns to normal.

Here's an idea for planes...

Instead of not allowing anyone to take a gun onboard, GIVE everyone a gun...

terrorist raises gun, "We're hijacking this plane!!"
Passengers raise guns, "Bull $*!^T!!"

Either that or give everyone a sharpened ball point pen

[Timber Loftis]

Originally posted by Malavon's Rage: Instead of not allowing anyone to take a gun onboard, GIVE everyone a gun... terrorist raises gun, "We're hijacking this plane!!"

Did anyone here see Goldfinger?

[Firestormalpha]

Originally posted by Malavon's Rage: Instead of not allowing anyone to take a gun onboard, GIVE everyone a gun...

Now where did I hear that before? Oh yeah, I said it! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Originally posted by Firestormalpha: Hmmmmmm....... Well theres always the gun in every passengers seat idea.

Oh yeah, I think I was the first person on the Forums to have suggested sedating the passengers. It was actually pretty well recieved. Lets face it, if your asleep you have no need for flight attendents.