How to avoid speeding fines

[Bleys]

Next time they pull you over try this

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding
and has the following exchange:

Officer:
May I see your driver's license?

Driver:
I don't have one. I had it suspended
when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer:
May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver:
It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer:
The car is stolen?

Driver:
That's right. But come to think of it, I
think I saw the owner's card in the glove
box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer:
There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver:
Yes sir. That's where I put it after I
shot and killed the woman who
owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer:
There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver:
Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately
called his captain. The car was quickly
surrounded by police, and the captain
approached the driver to handle
the tense situation:

Captain:
Sir, can I see your license?

Driver:
Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain:
Who's car is this?

Driver:
It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain:
Could you slowly open your glove box
so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver:
Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain:
Would you mind opening your
trunk? I was told you said there was a
body in it.

Driver:
No problem.

Trunk is
opened; no body.

Captain:
I don't understand it. The officer
who stopped you said you told him you
didn't have a license, stole the car,
had a gun in the glovebox, and that
there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver:
Really? Ain't that something?
And I'll bet the lying ■■■■■■■■■■
told you I was speeding, too...

[AzureWolf]

Hmmmm do the words The Hun mean anything to you mayhaps j/k
It's a classy joke

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"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

[This message has been edited by AzureWolf (edited 05-23-2001).]

ROTFLMAO

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An alternative strategy is to reply, when the officer asks "Can I see your license please Sir", "you don't need to see my identification" and wave your hand a little. Just to be sure add, "these aren't the droids you're looking for"

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Holy Avenger of the OHF and part time Pinguindiebjäger

[Lady Avalon]

Loved it. I couldn't stop laughing.

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Seeker of Truth

Bleys, do you log in as Nave on Valhalla site? He recently posted the exact same joke

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp

[Bleys]

No,
this came from my work's spamming list.

[Davros]

Or the other method of avoiding the fine :

I got picked up by a friend from Newark late on Friday night. We have just got off the NJ Turnpike onto Highway 1 (I think), and the cops have everything cordoned off for this big checkpoint. Both cars in front of us got the full treatment, searches, out of the car please sir, spread em, shakedown, cuffed and collared. When it came to our turn - "Licence please", and my mate handed him his old Australian licence by mistake. We then heard "We got ourselves some Australians - you guys wrassle any crocodiles?" (like he perhaps expected us to say sure of course we all do???). When he went to give him his NJ licence he just said "No need, I'll move the cones and you boys can be on your way". Looks like that OZ licence works a charm, and I can gaurantee he is going to make the same "mistake" next time he gets pulled over.



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Nordom, cousin to Davros