Is it normal for some people to pull away from everyone else as they get older?

[mistral4543]

Originally posted by spydar: and Mistral, this is completely off topic, but whats junior college?? is this an american term?

Junior college where I come from (Singapore) is a transitional schooling period between secondary school and University. Most junior college students are aged 17-18. It is during this period that we start to "specialise" more in the areas which we would like to pursue further in University.

To illustrate a little... in secondary school, I took 9 subjects: English, Higher Chinese, Chinese as a 2nd language, Physics, Chemistry, English Literature, Geography, Mathematics C and Additional Mathematics. This culminated in the GCE 'O' Levels which are overseen by the Cambridge Syndicate. When I moved on to junior college, I took the Science stream with 5 subjects: double Mathematics (Mathematics D and Further Mathematics), double Sciences (Physics and Chemistry) and the General Paper. This culminated in the GCE 'A' Levels, again overseen by the Cambridge Syndicate.

Unfortunately, I have no idea whether the term "junior college" is an American one

[Aracanth]

Normal, whats normal then??? Remember that with this age of comms as it is, (internet SMS etc) the ability to reach out socially is easy without moving from your home. I doubt you would have been able to say this even 10 years ago, and you would have HAD to go out for human interaction. It is simply that you get what your brain/personality needs from this newer type of human-human relationship. As for the feeling that everyone else is a moron, I find that MOST people feel this way as they get older my friend. On the eve of my 39th birthday I can say that I am constantly having to re-think conversations as I speak, realizing that my life is not the same as anyone elses. For instance, I enjoy PC's cars, archery and electronics, a vast range of stuff but not EVERYONE gives a damn about them. If you were to speak to people with similar interests, and indeed intellect, you will find you "click" more often than with someone who has a lower intelligence quotia. Try an experiment yourself, listen to your bosses conversation (whom you seem to have a reasonable raport with) and try to find errors of judgement or things you disagree with. Then ask yourself if you can forgive these slight errors. Now imagine the same conversation with one of these "irritable" people you work with. It is purely down to how you perceive others with reference to your own set of guidelines.

Could be rubbish of course, but HEY! I am nearly 39, so I must be wiser than everyone now))


Regards, Ara

[Skippy1]

I'm 41 next month. Does that make me wiser than you then?

[Aracanth]

Certainly, as wisdom is purely an AGE thing, I must bow before your grey-hairedness....



Ara

[Skippy1]

I think life experiences comes into play as well mate.

[Zuvio]

Wisdom also depends on how high you hold responsibility as a virtue. How independant of the mass you can think; the ability to put different subjects on a scale. Generally it comes with age yes, but not necessarily with intelligence.

[Dron_Cah]

Originally posted by Zuvio: Wisdom also depends on how high you hold responsibility as a virtue. How independant of the mass you can think; the ability to put different subjects on a scale. Generally it comes with age yes, but not necessarily with intelligence.

I'm not so sure valuing responsibility is wisdom. after all, responsibility can be percieved to be at oppsoite ends of spectrum by two equally wise people. Just depends on what you consider wisdom to be.

[Aracanth]

I am not sure that responsibility actually IS a virtue? Responsibility and wisdom surely go hand in hand, one feeds off the other. However, your premise that independant thinking can provide wisdom is intriguing. I have always seen wisdom as the ability to look at given criteria and make a judgement based upon given facts. Given that the original message stated that intelligence provides a key to social interaction (ie I cannot get on with a lower intelligentia), then maybe wisdom is derived from intellectual capacity.

Crikey...Deep stuff for a Friday evening )

Ara

[Zuvio]

If you force yourself to think seriously about your responsibilities and act with much care, you will be more thorough and less quick to jump to conclusions, which allows for space to be wiser.

Aracanth: responsibilty can be a virtue. A postman who simply delivers the mail is responsible job-wise. The mailman who will push the mail into the box when its raining extends his responsibility unasked, which makes it a virtue. The same holds for cases that require wisdom.

[Aelia Jusa]

Originally posted by Nerull: Oh, and I pretty much do my own thing on holidays and my birthday, too. My nearest family is 2500 miles away, and I really get annoyed on my birthday when I want to do something and get "overruled" by everyone else who wants to do something else (I feel that way in most situations, but especially so on my birthday). Sure it's a little selfish, but I think it's a little selfish to take control of someone else's event because you want to do something else.

I can understand that. If ever there's a day you're allowed to be selfish, it's your birthday! A couple of years ago for my mum's 50th my dad wanted to plan a surprise party for her. Fortunately he consulted me about it and I could tell him a resounding NO! A surprise party would be the last thing she would like, so instead we had a nice dinner at a restaurant with family that she was told of prior to arriving. If people want to do something nice on their loved one's birthday, it should be something the recipient will actually like, not something the giver would like, or think the recipient should like. Although if your preference is to be alone on your birthday and they want to overrule you and do something with you, I can understand that too. It's not being insecure to feel disappointed when someone you love doesn't want to spend time with you [img]smile.gif[/img]

I don't think you're abnormal, or wrong; everyone's different and you should never feel guilty or unsure about your feelings - they are your feelings and they're always valid. And you're most happy being a lone wolf, then fair enough. However I would say, don't reject every invitation you're given. There may come a time when you don't feel this way, but people have simply given up on you. There's only so much rejection people can take after all [img]smile.gif[/img]