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Old 07-20-2004, 09:44 AM   #1
Vaskez
Takhisis Follower
 

Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Nature is fair: if you are blind you get better hearing, if you are deaf you get better eyesight, if your left leg is shorter than your right, then your right leg is longer.

50% of young people are optimistic about the future. The other 50% don't have money for weed.

...God created man. Then he had a better idea!

I don't understand why the Jews and Palestinians can't all just sit down together and sort out their differences like good Christians.

We are pleased to announce that we have finished eating the last cannibal on Earth!

Processors are steam-powered - once the steam comes out of them, they no longer work.

I want to live forever. It's working so far...

I swear to God, I'm an atheist!

My computer can beat me at chess, but I usually win in kickboxing.

When I puke, I'm like a poet writing poetry: as time goes on it gets easier and comes from deeper down.

A computer program is something that converts data to error messages.

The essence of teamwork is that there's always someone else to blame.

I'm not afraid of sharks, only of the fact that they may want to bite me.

It's common for a fight to break out during a football match, but do football matches ever break out during a fight??

The fact that no one understands you, doesn't make you an artist.

I prefer to play chess with boxers and have boxing matches with chess players.

Every day, amnesia grants me the gift of new discovery.

If you've got a shark eating out of your hand, it'll probably grab a piece out of your leg too.

I almost bought the book titled "The pros of positive thinking", but then I thought, "bah, it'll probably be crap anyway!"

If and when I become a father, I'll buy a twin pram and tell the kid that he USED TO have a twin brother who didn't do as he was told...

Life is full of uncertainty. Let's just start with the dessert...

Sleeping makes me hungry. Eating makes me sleepy. Life is good...

I'm such a go-getter that my name should really be a verb.

[ 07-20-2004, 12:27 PM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]
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If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay
But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave
Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray
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Old 07-20-2004, 11:46 AM   #2
Harkoliar
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
Age: 40
Posts: 5,556
i like some of them actually
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Catch me if you can..
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Old 07-20-2004, 11:54 AM   #3
Blind_Prophet
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: November 10, 2001
Location: Yokosuka Japan
Age: 38
Posts: 1,168
Pretty funny stuff
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The height of narcissism
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Old 07-20-2004, 12:07 PM   #4
Arvon
Unicorn
 

Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
Some good ones...

Just run across this one...

Catholic women can use science for birth control...They can use mathematics, they just can't use physics or chemistry.
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53.7% of all statistics are made up
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Old 07-21-2004, 04:14 AM   #5
Bahamut
Iron Throne Cult
 

Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Manila, Philippines
Age: 39
Posts: 4,864
Enjoying this one I am... hohoho
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Old 07-21-2004, 05:50 AM   #6
Paladin2000
Fzoul Chembryl
 

Join Date: February 19, 2002
Location: Your guess is as good as mine.
Age: 52
Posts: 1,728
[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] What a wonderful collection of smartass quotes. Funny. Very Funny. [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]
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Old 07-21-2004, 08:02 AM   #7
Hivetyrant
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Aussie now in the US of A!
Age: 37
Posts: 5,403
Hahahaha, Wow, I havn't laoughed like that for a long time. Great [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
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Old 07-21-2004, 11:26 AM   #8
Dron_Cah
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 
Defend Your Castle Champion Frogger Champion Monkey Diving Champion Summer Games Champion Donkey Kong Champion
Moon Lander Champion Space Invaders Champion
Join Date: March 2, 2003
Location: Kentucky
Age: 37
Posts: 2,637
Hmm, made sense to me. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 07-22-2004, 01:41 AM   #9
wellard
Dracolisk
 

Join Date: November 1, 2002
Location: Australia ..... G\'day!
Posts: 6,123
"If and when I become a father, I'll buy a twin pram and tell the kid that he USED TO have a twin brother who didn't do as he was told..."


LMAO at this one ... wish I'd thought of it [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]
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fossils - natures way of laughing at creationists for over 3 billion years
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Old 07-22-2004, 05:32 PM   #10
Lord
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 

Join Date: June 3, 2003
Location: New York
Age: 39
Posts: 3,302
"50% of young people are optimistic about the future. The other 50% don't have money for weed.
"

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