What If............(A Question Of Moral In Friendship)

Wah · 06-14-2001, 07:32 PM

Hi people! It's me - Wah. I got three questions here - all scenarios and it's a case of what YOU would do if you were that person, in a friendship dilemma.

Be honest.
Be truthful.

DON'T read other people's posts and go along with THEM.

Happy Thinkin'

(written from a feminine point of view - but 'she' and 'her' also means 'he' and 'him', also substitute 'boyfriend' for 'girlfriend if you're male - where appropriate)

(PS: Also substitute "best friend" for MATE. Urrrgh! I hate the idea of "best friends" - best 'mate' will do for me

)

1) You knew that you best friend was getting cheated on, but recently she had a major row with you, because you lied to her - and now you don't talk often - just the usual small talk.

Suddenly you catch her boyfriend cheating on her, but you are too afraid to tell her, since the chances of her believing you are slim - and it could wreck your friendship if he denies it.

What do you do?

Let fate take it's path - or risk a break?

2) In another scenario, your secret lover suddenly splits up with you, for no apparent reason - and starts dating your best friend! You know that he is a lying bastard and a cheat! But your friend is SO happy and she has never felt so GOOD before.

What do you do?

Tell her that he is a lying bastard and end their relationship before its too late? Or wait...........and regret the day you didn't tell her earlier?

Will she believe you? Will she think that you're just jealous? Will this end your friendship?

3) Your friend says that she's really in love and that the guy she found is going to be just perfect!! Sadly however......he is a drug addict and he is conning her money out to pay the dealer.

She finds out and argues this with him! They work out a mutual understanding and she gradually dismisses that negative history over a couple of years.

It is just a couple of weeks before their WEDDING NIGHT.

You catch him with the drugs again.

What do you do?

Are you willing to tell her?
Or do you think you should talk to him instead?
What if their marriage gets wrecked later on, she ends up requiring therapy to ease her pains?
Will you regret that moment that you should've told her earlier?

Yes Or No.................it's your call.

Quote:

Aren't I a devil.

Arch Lich Wah

------------------

[This message has been edited by Wah (edited 06-14-2001).]

Fljotsdale · 06-14-2001, 09:14 PM

[1) You knew that you best friend was getting cheated on, but recently she had a major row with you, because you lied to her - and now you don't talk often - just the usual small talk.

Suddenly you catch her boyfriend cheating on her, but you are too afraid to tell her, since the chances of her believing you are slim - and it could wreck your friendship if he denies it.

What do you do?

2) In another scenario, your secret lover suddenly splits up with you, for no apparent reason - and starts dating your best friend! You know that he is a lying bastard and a cheat! But your friend is SO happy and she has never felt so GOOD before.

What do you do?

3) Your friend says that she's really in love and that the guy she found is going to be just perfect!! Sadly however......he is a drug addict and he is conning her money out to pay the dealer.

She finds out and argues this with him! They work out a mutual understanding and she gradually dismisses that negative history over a couple of years.
It is just a couple of weeks before their WEDDING NIGHT.
You catch him with the drugs again.

What do you do?

Easy. You tell. You may not be believed, but in each case you have to tell. If you can produce evidence it helps! But you have to be prepared to lose the friendship.

------------------

[This message has been edited by Fljotsdale (edited 06-14-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Fljotsdale (edited 06-14-2001).]

06-14-2001, 09:30 PM

#1) If you lied to this person already, than there was never any friendship to be worrying about but if you are that curious, walk up to the boyfriend while he is with his date and ask him if he and so & so broke up.
If he knows the two of you are not speaking, chances are he'll say yes in front of his date. Then, if you feel like stirring her life up a bit, go ask HER if she and he just broke up and tell her why you are asking.

#2)If this person is my best friend, I would just give her fair warning about him and let her decide for herself...who knows, maybe he and she can find something everlasting together.

#3)Get them both together and talk about it out in the open...drug addicts are usually liars so rather than talking to them seperately and letting him lie his way out of it with her in private, make sure she knows what is going on and that he knows there is going to be no denying it. This way, she can make the choice as to whether or not to marry this person and end up in financial/emotional ruin with her eyes wide open. If she needs therapy later, its on her as she was made aware prior to the marriage.

Unfortunately, most people, when they are deeply emotionally involved with someone else are going to do what they want regardless of their knowledge of the whole situation or the consequences.

Moni

------------------

WOLFGIR · 06-15-2001, 04:28 AM

Err, man are you trying to kill me brain here! Whats left at least..

Tricky questions all of them..
1. Wel since i don´t lie, only tampers with truth .. Yes there is a difference! I would probably well.. OK, I would let this one fade, let them work it out for themselves..

2. I would rather go to my friend, the cheater and the bastard.. hmm curious friends

and tell him to be at least honest to her. And if he hurts her I will beat the living daylight out of him, in a very friendly way though!

3. If I caught him with frugs again, I would report him to the authorities for sure. And tell her, the greatest sacrifice is to loose what you value for the better of another person. And well this is what I see as the best, my other alternative is to beat him too but well I would with my temper be in jail shaking bars if I gave in to thoose notions so, well the authorities it would be..

man, you are taking out the worst of one here

I hope you´r not faced personally with all these problems mate, cause then i pity you!

------------------

Yawning lazywolf dreaming about nice little fairies...zzzzz

Mack_Attack · 06-15-2001, 01:09 PM

Well we all need to what we think is moraly right. OK my thoughts.
1. well in the first case if you lied to this person and did not take the time to patch things up and try to get back to the friendship you once had with the person. Why would you care if she is getting cheated on. If it was me I would stay out of it. If I did not try to make things better in the first place. I probaly did not have that good of a friendship in the first place time to move on.

2.Ummmm this person is still my friend I thought friends do not date other friends. If this person was a friend does she not know what kind of person this guy is. If not well she is about to find out very shortly. I would not tell this person about the new love afair. Besides she took or man. Not that it is a bad thing since he is a

.

3. This one I would have to tell. If you have any feelings for this friend I would not let her go through with living with a guy that uses drugs.

These are my thoughts it is hard to come up with a real good answer these things can be very difficult and have many different levels.

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06-14-2001, 09:14 PM	#2
Fljotsdale Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: March 12, 2001 Location: Birmingham, West Mid\'s, England Age: 87 Posts: 2,859	[1) You knew that you best friend was getting cheated on, but recently she had a major row with you, because you lied to her - and now you don't talk often - just the usual small talk. Suddenly you catch her boyfriend cheating on her, but you are too afraid to tell her, since the chances of her believing you are slim - and it could wreck your friendship if he denies it. What do you do? 2) In another scenario, your secret lover suddenly splits up with you, for no apparent reason - and starts dating your best friend! You know that he is a lying bastard and a cheat! But your friend is SO happy and she has never felt so GOOD before. What do you do? 3) Your friend says that she's really in love and that the guy she found is going to be just perfect!! Sadly however......he is a drug addict and he is conning her money out to pay the dealer. She finds out and argues this with him! They work out a mutual understanding and she gradually dismisses that negative history over a couple of years. It is just a couple of weeks before their WEDDING NIGHT. You catch him with the drugs again. What do you do? Easy. You tell. You may not be believed, but in each case you have to tell. If you can produce evidence it helps! But you have to be prepared to lose the friendship. ------------------ [This message has been edited by Fljotsdale (edited 06-14-2001).] [This message has been edited by Fljotsdale (edited 06-14-2001).]

06-14-2001, 09:30 PM	#3
Moni Guest Posts: n/a	#1) If you lied to this person already, than there was never any friendship to be worrying about but if you are that curious, walk up to the boyfriend while he is with his date and ask him if he and so & so broke up. If he knows the two of you are not speaking, chances are he'll say yes in front of his date. Then, if you feel like stirring her life up a bit, go ask HER if she and he just broke up and tell her why you are asking. #2)If this person is my best friend, I would just give her fair warning about him and let her decide for herself...who knows, maybe he and she can find something everlasting together. #3)Get them both together and talk about it out in the open...drug addicts are usually liars so rather than talking to them seperately and letting him lie his way out of it with her in private, make sure she knows what is going on and that he knows there is going to be no denying it. This way, she can make the choice as to whether or not to marry this person and end up in financial/emotional ruin with her eyes wide open. If she needs therapy later, its on her as she was made aware prior to the marriage. Unfortunately, most people, when they are deeply emotionally involved with someone else are going to do what they want regardless of their knowledge of the whole situation or the consequences. Moni ------------------

06-15-2001, 04:28 AM	#4
WOLFGIR Bastet - Egyptian Cat Goddess Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Sweden Age: 50 Posts: 3,450	Err, man are you trying to kill me brain here! Whats left at least.. Tricky questions all of them.. 1. Wel since i don´t lie, only tampers with truth .. Yes there is a difference! I would probably well.. OK, I would let this one fade, let them work it out for themselves.. 2. I would rather go to my friend, the cheater and the bastard.. hmm curious friends and tell him to be at least honest to her. And if he hurts her I will beat the living daylight out of him, in a very friendly way though! 3. If I caught him with frugs again, I would report him to the authorities for sure. And tell her, the greatest sacrifice is to loose what you value for the better of another person. And well this is what I see as the best, my other alternative is to beat him too but well I would with my temper be in jail shaking bars if I gave in to thoose notions so, well the authorities it would be.. man, you are taking out the worst of one here I hope you´r not faced personally with all these problems mate, cause then i pity you! ------------------ Yawning lazywolf dreaming about nice little fairies...zzzzz

06-15-2001, 01:09 PM	#5
Mack_Attack Osiris - Egyptian God of the Underworld Join Date: May 22, 2001 Location: Sherwoodpark,Alberta,Canada Age: 51 Posts: 2,929	Well we all need to what we think is moraly right. OK my thoughts. 1. well in the first case if you lied to this person and did not take the time to patch things up and try to get back to the friendship you once had with the person. Why would you care if she is getting cheated on. If it was me I would stay out of it. If I did not try to make things better in the first place. I probaly did not have that good of a friendship in the first place time to move on. 2.Ummmm this person is still my friend I thought friends do not date other friends. If this person was a friend does she not know what kind of person this guy is. If not well she is about to find out very shortly. I would not tell this person about the new love afair. Besides she took or man. Not that it is a bad thing since he is a . 3. This one I would have to tell. If you have any feelings for this friend I would not let her go through with living with a guy that uses drugs. These are my thoughts it is hard to come up with a real good answer these things can be very difficult and have many different levels.

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