**A woman went to her priest with a problem...

Skippy1 · 03-02-2004, 07:41 AM

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"

Vaskez · 03-02-2004, 08:56 AM

LOL! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] nice one

Stratos · 03-02-2004, 09:37 AM

Good one!

[ 03-02-2004, 09:37 AM: Message edited by: Stratos ]

Skippy1 · 03-02-2004, 10:35 AM

Elementary, My Dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

dplax · 03-02-2004, 11:47 AM

ROFLMAO. Both were good.

Jorath Calar · 03-02-2004, 11:55 AM

That second one was voted as the best joke ever in a poll that was made... [img]smile.gif[/img]

RoSs_bg2_rox · 03-02-2004, 12:48 PM

heard the second before, but both were good!

Bozos of Bones · 03-02-2004, 02:15 PM

Heard them before, but it never hurts to hear great jokes again.

Illumina Drathiran'ar · 03-02-2004, 02:46 PM

The second one was most popular in England, yes? I really like it.

Dron_Cah · 03-02-2004, 03:00 PM

Skippy, are you a teacher?! I heard that first joke so many times from different teachers of mine. Oh well, the second was funny, though.

03-02-2004, 07:41 AM	#1
Skippy1 Elminster Join Date: December 9, 2003 Location: England (Ex-pat Aussie) Age: 61 Posts: 447	A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' " "That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?" One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!" __________________ "The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." -- William James

03-02-2004, 08:56 AM	#2
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	LOL! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] nice one __________________ Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray

03-02-2004, 09:37 AM	#3
Stratos Vampire Join Date: January 29, 2003 Location: Sweden Age: 43 Posts: 3,888	Good one! [ 03-02-2004, 09:37 AM: Message edited by: Stratos ] __________________ Nothing is impossible, it's just a matter of probability.

03-02-2004, 10:35 AM	#4
Skippy1 Elminster Join Date: December 9, 2003 Location: England (Ex-pat Aussie) Age: 61 Posts: 447	Elementary, My Dear Watson Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent." __________________ "The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." -- William James

03-02-2004, 11:47 AM	#5
dplax Jack Burton Join Date: July 19, 2003 Location: an expat living in France Age: 38 Posts: 5,577	ROFLMAO. Both were good. __________________

03-02-2004, 11:55 AM	#6
Jorath Calar Harper Join Date: October 6, 2001 Location: Iceland Posts: 4,706	That second one was voted as the best joke ever in a poll that was made... [img]smile.gif[/img]

03-02-2004, 12:48 PM	#7
RoSs_bg2_rox Zartan Join Date: May 20, 2003 Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland Age: 34 Posts: 5,225	heard the second before, but both were good! __________________ [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/dragonwater2.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

03-02-2004, 02:15 PM	#8
Bozos of Bones Apophis Join Date: July 29, 2003 Location: The Underdark cavern of Zagreb Age: 37 Posts: 4,679	Heard them before, but it never hurts to hear great jokes again. __________________ MAKE LOVE, NOT SPAM!

03-02-2004, 02:46 PM	#9
Illumina Drathiran'ar Apophis Join Date: July 10, 2002 Location: I can see the Manhattan skyline from my window. Age: 38 Posts: 4,673	The second one was most popular in England, yes? I really like it. __________________ http://cavestory.org PLAY THIS GAME. Seriously. http://xkcd.com/386/ http://www.xkcd.com/406/ My heart is like my coffee. Black, bitter, icy, and with a straw.

03-02-2004, 03:00 PM	#10
Dron_Cah Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: March 2, 2003 Location: Kentucky Age: 37 Posts: 2,637	Skippy, are you a teacher?! I heard that first joke so many times from different teachers of mine. Oh well, the second was funny, though.

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