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Old 10-29-2001, 06:43 PM   #31
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
Quote:
Originally posted by Lord of Alcohol:
I think everyone has given 250 lots of good advice to think about, just to add my two cents in just be yourself dude. I mean bend a bit here and there but if someone doesnt like the things that make you "you" then oh well ■■■■'em. They have to bend a bit too!
Hiram and LadyZ, thanks for getting that stupid song in my head, if I actually had a 10cc cd I would smash it right now. Yea yea "think she wants to break up, instead she wants to make up" BLAHHHHHHH thanks a lot!
thanks dude, but things are not that bad...
and you are damn right, the one that doesnt want to waste time on you is not worth your time, got to show her that too!

however, I also heard that one shouldn't give up a relationship that easy, it is just simply not responsible or courageous. I mean, if I back out on her, it will only further prove her belief on "I am not worthy" ofc it is not my problem, but since I care so much about her, I think I have to help

back out doesnt equal to back off, btw
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Old 10-29-2001, 06:44 PM   #32
Cloudbringer
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
Quote:
Originally posted by Lord Shield:
It's quite possible she's nervous about all the attention she's getting. Did she have a bad previous relationship perhaps (no need to post details here)?

Is she self-conscious about herself, perhaps?

Personally I don't see what you've done wrong but there may be extenuating circumstances

Tell her she deserves all the attention you give her and she should never settle for anything less

~hint from old Smoothie here~

Definitely! I don't quite know where that line is either 250. I think it's very different depending on individuals.. Me, I can soak up attention like a sponge, so it'd take more that what you describe for me to fuss about it! But maybe LS here is right, maybe she's just not used to being so cared about and treasured!

Cloudy

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Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
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StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever
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Old 10-29-2001, 06:45 PM   #33
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
Quote:
Originally posted by MILAMBER:

Is it growing now?
by my judgement, it had grown tremendously aww... come to think of it... sigh

thats when I was first told to back off, I did exactly that. then things just stimulate between me and her, and I thought she is all over with her problems and ready to accept me... then this crap... jesus
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Old 10-29-2001, 07:05 PM   #34
Lord of Alcohol
Xanathar Thieves Guild
 

Join Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Charlotte,NC
Age: 60
Posts: 4,570
Hey 250, I didnt really mean for you to go and tell her to f*ck off, I'm all for your trying to make it work. I guess my point is if things dont work now, will they work in a few years and are you willing to change/bend that much? I know from here on the boards your a stubborn kinda guy and I guess I'm that way too But walking on eggshells trying not to break any is impossible,eh? Well I think so anyway.
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Old 10-29-2001, 07:11 PM   #35
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
Quote:
Originally posted by Lord of Alcohol:
Hey 250, I didnt really mean for you to go and tell her to f*ck off, I'm all for your trying to make it work. I guess my point is if things dont work now, will they work in a few years and are you willing to change/bend that much? I know from here on the boards your a stubborn kinda guy and I guess I'm that way too But walking on eggshells trying not to break any is impossible,eh? Well I think so anyway.
I will just back off... gosh... I am definitely OK with hanging around for couple years, but you know, it is hard to control your love... I mean, if I don't care about her, then there will be no problems. but right now, I have to take care not to take care of her... Jesus... this is constructively destruct... something I may need to learn for the years to come... sigh

thank you bro, you are right, I am stubbon, and you too, hardly a bad thing
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Old 10-29-2001, 08:25 PM   #36
Harkoliar
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
Age: 41
Posts: 5,556
hey 250,
for some wierd reason or not, i think we are going through the same problem right now... i having a pretty hard time with my own relationship right now and i do feel to share you my own experience recently... i trying (very patiently trying) to court this girl right now (im in first year college btw). we have been friends before and i fell in love with her two years ago (althogh something happened and had to end before it even started) , but i got over it. but when we met again in college, i fell back in love with her. . right now im trying to talk to her but always she doesnt have the "time" and "energy". i know that she is having famliy problems (big ones) and broken up with a guy before ( i know that one too because she confided that with me as a friend (and i backed off then since i respected the girl and the guy and dont want to butt into a relationship). since im kinda more mature now, when i look at it, it still hurts for me to even push through with the realtionship.

reasons:
1. she doesnt have time to even talk on the phone at night time
2. i feel its a one sided realtioship since she doesnt respond to my messages
3. i hardly get to meet her like only once a week because of our conflicting schedules
4. she admits that "i may try but we will never know the answer for a while"
5. i dont know if she aviods me purposely or not

in love reason to continue the relationship:
1. im her friend
2. she is having a hard time in her life right now that i feel that its not her fault that the relationship its not working out
3. i like (love?) her

personal conclusion:
1. maybe she doenst want a realtionship so she will not get hurt if something happens
2. maybe she is afraid to take that path again since she has been hurt already
3. i dont know what else...
4. help?

here is my own experiences 250, maybe you might get something from it

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Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath...
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Old 10-29-2001, 08:40 PM   #37
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
bro, we are different

all I can say is something I figured out on my own:

you must be able to live with yourself, I mean, both emotionally and physically. dont feel like "oh my god, I cannot live with out her" if you do, you are gonna have problems. that is all I can say

so, she may not want a relationship, I guess if you still want her, you must keep a distance until she comes out of the shadow in her own time. good luck (to both of us)
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Old 10-30-2001, 04:06 AM   #38
Harkoliar
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
Age: 41
Posts: 5,556
AMEN!!!!

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Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath...
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Old 10-30-2001, 04:09 AM   #39
Lifetime
Red Dragon
 

Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: Scotch College, Melbourne
Posts: 1,503
Hey 250, whenever you're with her, remember two words than guys live by..

Laid. Back.

Not just the first word mind..

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Old 10-30-2001, 04:18 AM   #40
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
Quote:
Originally posted by Lifetime:
Hey 250, whenever you're with her, remember two words than guys live by..

Laid. Back.

Not just the first word mind..


how much do you think is really "laid back"?
I mean, when I am ACTUALLY WITH HER, everything works out perfect... or maybe she doesnt mention it

but when we are on internet... geez... sometimes it can get real ugly...
(ofc, I always obey principle number1: delay anger)
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