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Old 10-19-2001, 06:58 PM   #1
Arvon
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Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
Top 17 Fatal Things to Say if Your Wife is Pregnant

17. "I finished the Oreo's."

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby."

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."

12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "Got milk?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

And the Number 1 Fatal Thing To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant...

1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."
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Old 10-19-2001, 07:02 PM   #2
Neb
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Isn't this the exact same joke that Cerise posted a bit earlier?
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Old 10-19-2001, 07:06 PM   #3
Moiraine
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Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps
Age: 59
Posts: 2,474
Arvon, the thing you really shouldn't say to your pregnant wife is :

"You look wonderful today"

while you are lacing her shoes (she can't) and she's feeling she looks like a whale ...

I've been there (the whale part was me)

------------------


The world is my oyster !
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Old 10-19-2001, 08:56 PM   #4
Arvon
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Join Date: October 4, 2001
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Quote:
Originally posted by Neb:
Isn't this the exact same joke that Cerise posted a bit earlier?
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Old 10-19-2001, 08:57 PM   #5
Arvon
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Join Date: October 4, 2001
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Posts: 4,212
Quote:
Originally posted by Arvon:
I'm gonna tell her off ...she's stealing my stuff. I e-mailed it to her a couple of days ago...
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Old 10-19-2001, 09:00 PM   #6
Neb
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The post is a bit farther down, called "Pregnant Partner" or something like that.
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Old 10-19-2001, 10:41 PM   #7
Neb
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BUMP!
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Old 10-20-2001, 05:31 PM   #8
Charlie
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Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 30
Posts: 2,021
Quote:
Originally posted by Arvon:
Fatal Things to Say if Your Wife is Pregnant
Are you sure it's yours?


------------------
One love, peace.
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Old 10-20-2001, 05:46 PM   #9
Ryanamur
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Join Date: March 29, 2001
Location: Montréal, Canada
Age: 49
Posts: 1,763
I posted it in another tread but let me warn you that if you say this you should be wearing hockey gear with a face mask

"Honey, with hips like yours you can deliver more than one baby"

Though it may sound like a compliment, it isn't

------------------
I'm the Wanderer without a clan... I bring justice without favorism. Though you may not agree with it, my judgement is final... and inconsequential
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