Hurricane Isabel

Hurricane Isabel...Yes, you know, the one that's supposed to rip through the US and whack us people here in Southern Ontario. Many of you are afraid that you might not survive her wrath. Well, unless you brace for impact, you are absolutely right. Many of you probably have Priceless Heirlooms, small children, or a will to live of insane proportions. I will offer some guidance on surviving this disaster or you can just go to www.ready.gov (it doesn't just talk about Terrorism, it talks about ways to survive other disasters.)

First, how to protect your priceless heirloom. What you'll need is a metal box that will contain the heirloom(s),Duct Tape, newspaper (or cotton, or Tissue Paper, whatever you prefer.) a shovel, a massive boulder and a metal safe [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img] It'll all make sense...right now. place some of the newspaper (or what have you) into the small metal box, place the heirloom into the box on top of the lining (newspaper, etc.) place the rest on top of it and close the metal box. If it can be locked, Lock it! If it can't,wrap the thing in duct tape -- The last thing we need is the thing cracking open later. Now open your safe, place the box in back of the vault and duct-tape it there. Now close the vault and lock it. Your Heirloom is safe from Isabel. Now pick up your shovel and START DIGGING!!! Stop at 5 feet. Now have the safe lowered into the pit. Fill the pit up with the dirt. Now the hard part (if you're not muscular) take the huge boulder and roll it on top of the patch. There ya go!

Okay, your Heirloom is safe. But what about your children? Isabel could wipe them off the face of the earth, if not, she'll wipe their smiles off their faces, right? WRONG!!! Got a sub basement? A pick? A four-Year supply of food? And other nescessities? Good! Listen, move all that shiznit down to the sub Basement (even the kids.) But it'll be hard explaining to them what's going on, eh? Just tell them, plain and simple, that there's gonna be a hurricane but everything will be okay because it won't be able to touch them. Move all the important stuff I mentioned into the sub basement and after the hurricane, check to see if it is possible to step outside. If not, you know what to do -- Yes, lift up that pick axe and give the wall a mercy killing. Yes, it'll be hard to let go to that wall, but think of it -- Your life is much more precious then that of a slab of wood. But watch out for electrical wiring. You want to SURVIVE this, not get killed. Tunnel your way to the top. (don't forget your oxegyn tank...which I forgot to metion [img]graemlins/doh.gif[/img] )

Third: You might wanna get ready for long term events. Just in case you die, God Forbid, write up a legal will, lest your kids end up with your asshole-of-a-relative. Don't forget your insurence papers. Ya know what? Throw that in with your heirloom so they don't get ripped apart by rubble, etc. Also, put a lot of money aside for food. Life insurance seems like a good idea too. Would you wanna be impaled by that fence across the street and your loved ones paying those bills that don't stop at your grave?

Forth: There is an easy solution. Take everything important to you and your family, load it into a pickup or what have you, get in the car, and get your ass over to the west (if you're in southern Ontario, head North! WAY NORTH!!! All the way to the Northwest Frickin' Territroies if you have to! Which is better, being tired from driving all day, or feeling the pain of being crushed by a telephone pole?

Of course, some of these solutions will probably not work. If these pearls of wisdom I've flicked at you aren't helpful, you're on your own. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going deeper into my Bunker. *Salutes, Gets up off chair, walks toward elevator*

[Ziroc]

I'm just glad the sucker is dying out. If it was a 155 MPH Cat.5 storm, it would be MUCH worse.

What sucks is that where its going to hit has already BEEN flooded with storms over the past weeks, and this Hurricane will just make a bad situation much worse.

To those in it's path: Be safe, and take care. And Get your ass to Canada [img]smile.gif[/img]

Big time. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[Chewbacca]

Yeah I'm quite relieved it has died down to cat 2...for now anyway. I was getting worried as the family Businesses are in Myrtle Beach S.C., though it *appears* the brunt of the storm will be hitting further north.

If it will only stay out to sea and head towards Greenland then we can *all* breathe easy. Unlikely though.

[Ladyzekke]

Yeah its headed right for my area. Yay.. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Lord Lothar]

We spent our geography period yesterday talking about this hurricane. It's frightening that the hurricane can reach into Southern Ontario which is so far from the coast. Hopefully the hurrican will veer off and go to somewhere where it will cause little harm to people.

[Sir Goulum]

Originally posted by Ziroc: To those in it's path: Be safe, and take care. And Get your ass to Canada [img]smile.gif[/img]

Well, thanks, Z!

Anyways, the joys of being in central/western canada are incredible! The closest thing to a disaster for my this year was a tornado that whipped north of Edmonton.

[Lord Lothar]

Originally posted by Sir Goulum: quote: Originally posted by Ziroc: To those in it's path: Be safe, and take care. And Get your ass to Canada [img]smile.gif[/img]

Well, thanks, Z!

Anyways, the joys of being in central/western canada are incredible! The closest thing to a disaster for my this year was a tornado that whipped north of Edmonton. [/QUOTE]One of the FEW joys of being in Western Canada besides the Edmonton mall...

[Firestormalpha]

Me? Perish to a natural phenomenon(sp?)? Never. I'll run and hide in another corner of the world before that happens. Anyways I seem to get all the luck. Nothing devastating has hit me or close friends/family directly.

[Gangrell]

This thing is going through the US? Are you serious? I thought the hurricanes only stayed near the coast, good thing there is a basement near me.

Edit-Add: Well, found the path of the hurricane and it is closer than I'd like, by about 150 miles but knowing wind storms it may decide to shift it's path. Here's what I found.

Watches/Warnings


Strike Probability


Wind Distribution


Found it here.

[ 09-17-2003, 12:34 AM: Message edited by: Gangrell ]