abridged movie scripts will make you laugh SOO hard

[Faceman]

Found this recently (actually was following a link to their Matrix script from SixofSpades' page)
and I keep laughing at EVERY article

http://ter.air0day.com/

Here's something from LOTR1

code:

---

Suddenly, the group is surrounded by enemies again.  The

enemies are defeated again.  ELIJAH is stabbed again.



                        ELIJAH WOOD

            Ahhh Jesus, this one hurts more

            than usual.  I think it's really

            killing me.



                      VIGGO MORTENSEN

            Ian, can't you heal him?



                        IAN MCKELLEN

            No, see, I'm a level 5 wizard, you

            can't cast Resurrection or Heavy

            Heal until level 6.  I need 4,523

            more experience points.  Oh, hey,

            this battle gave me 5,000! Hang on,

            let me increase my stats.

                 (pause)

            Okay, done.

[/QUOTE]

[Xen]

ROFLMAO!Good one mate¨!

ELIJAH WOOD Heya Ian! I just came by to see-- IAN MCKELLEN Elijah, you must take this ring. It is the Ring of Power, forged by the evil Lord Sauron long ago. Travel to a far away land with your cohorts. I will meet you there and we will venture to Mount Doom to destroy the ring. You must arrive safely - the fate of Middle Earth depends on your success. ELIJAH WOOD Er..uh..I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to play some Nintendo. IAN MCKELLEN There's no time, Elijah! I must go find Christopher Lee and seek his guidance. Good luck, the fate of all life rests in your small, hairy hands. ELIJAH WOOD I.. uh..

I like this one the best!

[Bozos of Bones]

Time to be creative!
Hmm...
Can't conjure up anything...
Oh, wait!

NEO
She is a program, created many years ago so she can fu** me up now because me and Morpheus believed her, but she was screwing with our minds all the time because she is a totally evil program working for you, isn't she?
NOT DONALD SUTHERLAND, TRY AS HE MIGHT
Yes.


Not very good, but I'm in a writer's block.

[Zuvio]

OMG, guys, those are some great quotes. Put up more!!

[Faceman]

code:

---

CGI TOBEY MAGUIRE talks to CGI WILLEM DAFOE.



                      CGI WILLEM DAFOE

            So, Tobey, I was wondering if you

            wanted to join me?



                     CGI TOBEY MAGUIRE

            What, are you kidding? Join you in

            what? Why are you even asking me

            such a stupid question?



                      CGI WILLEM DAFOE

            Because this is the part in the

            Superman script where the bad guy

            asks the good guy to join him.



                     CGI TOBEY MAGUIRE

            Well, no.



                      CGI WILLEM DAFOE

            Fine! Then I will kidnap Kirsten

            Dunst! If you wish to see her again,

            be at the bridge in an hour! Bwa ha

            ha!

[/QUOTE]...

code:

---

NEW YORK CITY



CGI TOBEY MAGUIRE swings through the streets, eventually

landing on the EMPIRE STATE BUILDING with the EMPIRE STATE

BUILDING visible behind him.



                    TOBEY MAGUIRE (V.O.)

            So, back to the stupid narration..

            Who am I? I'm Darkman.  I mean,

            Spider-Man! Dammit!

[/QUOTE]

[ 09-06-2003, 01:58 PM: Message edited by: Faceman ]

[Xen]

code:

---

                        HUGO WEAVING

            Mr.  Anderson.



                        KEANU REEVES

            That's good, but it really came

            from the first movie.  Got anything

            else?



Suddenly, a bunch of other HUGO WEAVINGS show up.  They

FIGHT to VIDEO GAME MUSIC.  Despite all of the enormous

hype, it is extremely clear when the scene switches into

CGI-mode.



                        HUGO WEAVING

            Why are you using kung fu? Can't

            you jump inside us and delete us

            like in the last movie? Isn't that

            one of your super awesome powers?



                        KEANU REEVES

            Nah, the only real new power I have

            is flight.



                        HUGO WEAVING

            That sucks.



                        KEANU REEVES

            Not as badly as my appearance when

            I do my little mid-air spin move

            with this pole.



He fights and fights and fights and eventually gives up and

flies away.

[/QUOTE]

[Zuvio]

Where do you get this stuff from?! This is insanely great!

[Xen]

Originally posted by Zuvio: Where do you get this stuff from?! This is insanely great!

Check the link in the first post of thius thread.

[Zuvio]

Originally posted by Xen: quote: Originally posted by Zuvio: Where do you get this stuff from?! This is insanely great!

Check the link in the first post of thius thread. [/QUOTE]Oops! Did you check out the T3 script? I just passed out from laughing I tell you! Me thinks I'll be spending the rest of the night reading those scripts hihi

[Faceman]

That's indeed how I spend some nights this week (how pathetic am I actually [img]graemlins/uhoh1.gif[/img] )
We however owe this link to SixofSpades' great site at
http://www.geocities.com/sixospades/
I just recently cut away the bg2 part from Volothamp's Comeuppance and there I was. BTW he has some great stuff too.
[img]graemlins/evilhaha.gif[/img] I'm just sugar-coding this and thus manipulating these fools into a denial-of-service attack [img]graemlins/evilhaha.gif[/img]
Wait! Did I just write that out loud?

[ 09-06-2003, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: Faceman ]