What is the funniest thing that has happened?

[Horatio]

I wanna know the funniest thing that has EVER happened to you. Come on, I need a laugh.

[Epona]

Oh Blimey Horatio, I have a few of these. Unsurprisingly a lot of my tales of hilarity involve an overindulgence in alcohol and only seem funny in hindsight. Here's one that some of you may have heard before, forgive me if I repeat myself!:

This was a couple of years ago now. I was out at an after work leaving do, and had had a skinful, been drinking for 7 hours straight. We left the pub at closing time to go on somewhere else, which meant crossing the street at a big junction. We stopped at the crossing, and my feet stopped, but the rest of me continued on - and I started to fall over. This seemed to happen in slow motion - long enough for me to work some bizarre logic in my mind. My archaeology class had been studying the frequency of Colle's fractures in early agricultural populations - that's a break to the radius and ulna caused by putting your hands out to break a fall.... so I decided in that split second that I didn't want broken arms... and didn't put my hands out.

I fell face first in the street, right in front of an oncoming taxi - and I mean face first. My mate managed to stop himself laughing for long enough to grab the collar of my jacket and haul me up off the road by the scruff of my neck - and there I stood, blood pouring down my face. Nearly knocked one of my teeth out, and had some nasty grazes and bruises on my face, knees and er.... other prominent parts of my anatomy which had come into rapid contact with the asphalt.

I still to this day do not fully understand *why* I 'logically' decided to save my wrists at the expense of my face

I was 13 years old and staying on an island just off the dutch coast with my classmates on a school trip. We were in a youth hostel and one night we were stuck at a loose end with nothing to do. So we formed a group of about ten boys and ten girls and had a secretive game of 'truth or dare' late at night. Finally, my turn came. I chose a dare. It was decided that I should strip down to my boxers - Full Monty style. This I did. All went well until I got down to my underwear. At this point, everybody started laughing. I had no idea why. Surely I wasn't doing anything too out of the ordinary? It was only after about a minute that I understood. Something had inadvertently been protruding from my boxer shorts.

Probably not the funniest moment of my life, but certainly the most embarrassing, I can assure you.

[ 05-02-2002, 04:29 PM: Message edited by: Arledrian ]

[Talthyr Malkaviel]

Well, if we're going to involve drinking, I have one.

Right, well, my friends are all shorter and smaller in stature than me (not very hard, I'm pretty tall) and to put it kindly, they can't comparitively hold their alcohol as well as me.
I assure you, I'm not bragging here, it's pretty boring to be sat there stone sober while your mates are seemingly having fun.
So, in pursuit of a change to the normal, one wintery New Years Eve (Need I say more? ) I decided to save up a bit and buy a, shall we say, rather large bottle of Teacher's scotch whisky.
Now, the thing about spirits is, they wait, and wait, then creep up on you, then punch you in the face.
I had consumed almost the whole bottle within half an hour in shots, and I seemed fine.
This was about 10:15.
Now, when I woke up in the morning, it seemed that somehow a creature must have found my mouth the perfect place to curl up and die, and defecate in there while it was at it, and I couldn't remember anything, and I mean anything past 11:00.
Now, that wasn't the funny part, or at least it wasn't to me that morning, especially since the sun seemed determined to shine in my eyes whereever I went.
After the mandatory visit to good old mister toilet, I felt like imitating the creature that it felt like was inhabiting my mouth.
To my surprise, during the night I must have had some inexplicable form of temporary amnesia, as I kept telling everyone the same joke... about twenty times.
And I had also fell over on the snow a few times, and broke a few car aerials for good measure, not to mention the dancing in the snow next to a car at 2am in the morning.

[ 05-02-2002, 04:39 PM: Message edited by: Talthyr Malkaviel ]

[Beltazar]

Ouch, very harsh sorry to hear it has happened to you. My wrist is killing me.. I should go get it checked up on Carpel tunnel syndrome
which I hope it isn't.

but onto the subject..something funny..hmm.. I was hit by a ford f-350 but that wasn't quite funny..but a friend made a funny picture I can post on here though! I was hit on my bike and he was going 45 m.p.h. Broke my femur, cracked my growth plate, and broke the tibia. I havew pictures of the scar and have pictures of the dent in the big fence when I was thrown like 35-40 feet. my helmet was strapped on and it went flying. well, next class started, like always...I'll edit it as soon as I get there and add more.

[johnny]

Originally posted by Epona: Oh Blimey Horatio, I have a few of these. Unsurprisingly a lot of my tales of hilarity involve an overindulgence in alcohol and only seem funny in hindsight. Here's one that some of you may have heard before, forgive me if I repeat myself!: This was a couple of years ago now. I was out at an after work leaving do, and had had a skinful, been drinking for 7 hours straight. We left the pub at closing time to go on somewhere else, which meant crossing the street at a big junction. We stopped at the crossing, and my feet stopped, but the rest of me continued on - and I started to fall over. This seemed to happen in slow motion - long enough for me to work some bizarre logic in my mind. My archaeology class had been studying the frequency of Colle's fractures in early agricultural populations - that's a break to the radius and ulna caused by putting your hands out to break a fall.... so I decided in that split second that I didn't want broken arms... and didn't put my hands out. I fell face first in the street, right in front of an oncoming taxi - and I mean face first. My mate managed to stop himself laughing for long enough to grab the collar of my jacket and haul me up off the road by the scruff of my neck - and there I stood, blood pouring down my face. Nearly knocked one of my teeth out, and had some nasty grazes and bruises on my face, knees and er.... other prominent parts of my anatomy which had come into rapid contact with the asphalt. I still to this day do not fully understand *why* I 'logically' decided to save my wrists at the expense of my face

whoa dude, what did you drink ? lmao

[johnny]

too many funny things to mention, but the first thing that came to mind was: i was visiting paris with my mom and my brother when i was little and me and bro were walking in those large gardens of the palace of versailles. Suddenly i needed to go to the bathroom, and guess what, there wasn't one around. so picture this: all those famous historical french people relaxing in those gardens, and then later in time this kid from holland taking a dump in em. Still lmao when i think back about this.

[Epona]

Originally posted by johnny: whoa dude, what did you drink ? lmao

LOL, that time just beer - but 7 hours of drinking beer by the pint can do that to ya! - also our dumbass licensing laws mean we get trained at an early age to drink quickly, 'cos at 11pm it's time for lights out!

[ 05-03-2002, 09:25 AM: Message edited by: Epona ]

[Beltazar]

Heh, thats kinda nasty...but, a man's gotta do what a mans gotta do. Oh here's something funny, kinda vulgar though. I would like to know if you guys want to hear it though, I don't want to get in trouble for it :\

[Beltazar]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by johnny: whoa dude, what did you drink ? lmao -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LOL, that time just beer - but 7 hours of drinking beer by the pint can do that to ya! - also our dumnass licensing laws mean we get trained at an early age to drink quickly, 'cos at 11pm it's time for lights out!

LOL, I'd like to have that job