Aim of life, need a bita advice.

[Avatar]

My aim of life is a lil story by itself. It started with being targets set by my parents. Little things like exams and getting into a good uni, but deep down i always had my own and that is love, to find true love and to sacrifice all in the search for this. Sadly this made me too objective at social occasions. And my stories of love became almost like the sports i play and the things i do. Too objective. Sure I enjoyed it for what it is, but i treated it like chess. My aim was to have it last forever and i sacrificed all for it. Just like chess's aim is to capture the king at ALL costs. And I realised that I shouldn't have an aim in a relationship. Ofcourse one wonders whether this is the one, that is inevitable, but you shouldn't purposefully target this. Well after this I talked to my dad and now i partially look at things differently (perhaps more maturely) when my head is clear.
He said that dating is fine but keep it to enjoyment. Ofcourse it should be devoted pure love but know when to start and when to end. He said I need to be able to cope being single and enjoy the freedom and use it! My aim should be on maximizing my career. He said that i never had a final career goal and this fell into the natrual default of a family goal. He said that the family goal is something you shouldn't think about. It will come natrually along as long as you do the right things.
He said that as long as i work hard and graduate with a 1st class from Cambridge, then the world is my oyster (yuck! ) and with a vision i am an eagle without bounds. He said being married is something I should avoid thinking about so early on. It is the bird inside a golden cage. From the outside it looks so wonderful but from the inside the bird would rather be fighting for its life free in the world.
Before my life was driven by one thing. To make the girl i love happy, which means exercising and having a good body, be a nice person and having lotza money (ooooooo shopping is so important! ). Money means a good job better tahn what everyone else has and means I have to work hard for it. But now I seem to have lost all that. I know it makes very little sense but it's so much easier to work with an objective. Rather than to think that: well the objective is there you just don't have it.
Reeka once told me to be patient and "for god sake you are only 19!" but i keep talking to so many lovely and caring yet single friends on the net and i fear i will end up single (because it's not for me). My dad just laughed and is convinced that I am worrying over the most trivial of things. However, I fear doesn't quite understand just how important true love is. I am always under the impression that true love is as rare as blue gold and blue roses (why are blue things so rare?). What does everyone else think?
Also I think too much. I never express my true feelings in the fear of being outcast and rejected. I don't know....
This week I even forgot to collect my pay from work... there seems to be no urgency in my life. Before i didn't have enough money now I have too much. Guess I'll just start saving [img]smile.gif[/img]
i don't know what else to say really....
hey just looking for pointers...
sorry this is so boring....
I gotta go now....
btw, is it a poo poo idea to post so much about me on here.... i don't really mind that much but feel a bit exposed emotion wise.. [img]smile.gif[/img] be gentle on me

[Jerome]

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[WOLFGIR]

Hmm

You ask for answers people die pndering Avatar.
No one can tell you what is the best for you. We can ofer advice and experiences, but it all comes down to one thing. For YOU to act on them.

Personally I think that true love is a great idea but I don´t think it is something for me, not yet. Life is a bit weird sometimes you know and there are many lines to cross and soo many choices that only to think about them can make you blunder and fall to far in each direction.

So, get to know yourself, then act accordingly to who you find yourself to be.

Good luck

[johnny]

You say blue things are rare, i don't agree on that. I used to go to F.C. Den Bosch matches on sundays, and there i watched eleven blue things walking on the field every time. They did a good job at making me feel sick too.

[Elif Godson]

Avi Avi Avi, take it from someone who is married with children. The only true love will probably ever find is the love you will have for your children. We as a race put far to much value on that emotion, mind you it is a great and powerful thing, it has raised and destroyed kingdoms and societies. But you need to stay focused, look at it through your periferal(sp) vision so to speak and not directly. Love comes and love goes and sometimes it lifts us to great height's and other times it will dash your dreams against jagged rock's. But Wolfie had a good point, you need to love yourself first and then you will be able to love another the way you want to. Relationship's take work and it isnt always 50/50 sometimes it is 60/40 or 90/10, it is life my friend and life is not easy. Dont know if this makes sense or even help's any.
Godd Luck Avi

[lian]

Hi Avatar--You are obviously someone who feels things very deeply. IMHO, go for the true love. This is the sort of stuff that makes life worth living. Thoreau spoke of the tragedy of "dying, only to find that you have never lived."
Sure you are still young--that's no guarantee that you'll live to be 20 (not to be morbid). "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may." Just one thing--lose the expectations. If you expect your dreamgirl to look or be a certain way, your true love could walk right past you. Don't settle. Be open to love--it will find you. I've dated lots of guys, and only a few made me feel what you're looking for. It is definitely worth it! YOu asked for advice, this is my two cents.

[MILAMBER]

Hey buddy, all I can say is don't live for your parents. You have to live for and love yourself if you want to be anywhere near happy. Sure your parents can help point you in a direction, but it's ultimately you who has to live with the consequences, so you'd better be happy with the decisions you've made that lead to those consequences. Love is great and money is great. You say you want money to help find love? While money can help you go on good dates, it won't help you find love. Financial security can help ease tension in a relationship, but it won't help you find a relationship worth having.

The most important thing is to be driven by your desire for success. Don't depend on someone else to offer you motivation to live your life. If you do, then you are essentially living your life for that other person and that is dangerous both to you and your relationship.

[Avatar]

yeah... thanks guys i guess i am just 1st time loosers eh? I was so in love that i lost myself and i stopped loving myself for who i am, and the girl i live for stopped too...
Time to return to the old me [img]smile.gif[/img]

Good morning everyone [img]smile.gif[/img] I'm back.... a tad less silly

[WOLFGIR]

Originally posted by Avatar: yeah... thanks guys i guess i am just 1st time loosers eh? I was so in love that i lost myself and i stopped loving myself for who i am, and the girl i live for stopped too... Time to return to the old me [img]smile.gif[/img] Good morning everyone [img]smile.gif[/img] I'm back.... a tad less silly

Thats life, tough to understand, but if you strive to understand yourself, even the painful experiencies give you something in the end. As long as you don´t turn to bitter Avi.

All scares define where yu been and tells you who you are, cause they are the proof of a choice made.

[Epona]

I have a bit of a philosophy about life which is this:
There were people on the Titanic who turned away the sweet trolley

Life is for living. Above all, aim for what makes you happy. It is different for every individual. For some it might be ice-cream in the park on a sunny day, for others it might be to have children, others might want a career at a job they enjoy. No-one else can tell you what should make you tick.

BUT - don't spend your life wishing you had reached that goal and wasting the current moment. Enjoy the little things that make you happy. Laugh a lot. Have fun. Don't dwell on what may happen next week or next year. Life is short, so enjoy whatever you've got right now, take any opportunities that come up.