Henny Youngman Wife Joke(s)

Arvon · 01-03-2003, 12:23 PM

Secret Tips for Making a Marriage Last

My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."

8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...

10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

Piestrider · 01-03-2003, 12:50 PM

Ha ha...

that's so funny i forgot to laugh [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Ar-Cunin · 01-03-2003, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arvon:

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

9_1_6 · 01-04-2003, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Piestrider:
Ha ha... that's so funny i forgot to laugh [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

C'mon now, it wasnt that BAD.. it still made me giggle [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Cloudbringer · 01-04-2003, 03:43 PM

Arvon, do have half a clue how old and tired those jokes are? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Arvon · 01-04-2003, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
Arvon, do have half a clue how old and tired those jokes are? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Of course...did you not note the credit I gave to Henny Youngman?

Cloudbringer · 01-04-2003, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arvon:

quote:
Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
Arvon, do have half a clue how old and tired those jokes are? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Of course...did you not note the credit I gave to Henny Youngman?[/QUOTE]That's what I meant, most of us have seen them going around and around and around the television late night shows, internet and email a million times by now!

Piestrider · 01-04-2003, 05:10 PM

Avron, I have an idea. You could begin a chain letter with your jokes and make it one of those emails that says that if you dont send it to 15 people on your list then you will die a horrible death. I've gotten kinds like that before. It might work... think of the possiblities.

01-03-2003, 12:23 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Secret Tips for Making a Marriage Last My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last... 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake." 8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now! 9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off... 10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!" __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

01-03-2003, 12:50 PM	#2
Piestrider Zhentarim Guard Join Date: February 25, 2002 Location: Waxahachie TX Age: 37 Posts: 389	Ha ha... that's so funny i forgot to laugh [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] __________________ yes

01-04-2003, 03:43 PM	#5
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	Arvon, do have half a clue how old and tired those jokes are? [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

01-04-2003, 05:10 PM	#8
Piestrider Zhentarim Guard Join Date: February 25, 2002 Location: Waxahachie TX Age: 37 Posts: 389	Avron, I have an idea. You could begin a chain letter with your jokes and make it one of those emails that says that if you dont send it to 15 people on your list then you will die a horrible death. I've gotten kinds like that before. It might work... think of the possiblities. __________________ yes

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
A devoted wife.	Dron_Cah	General Discussion	4	04-28-2005 08:28 AM
Wife Swap	pritchke	Entertainment (Movies, TV Shows and Books/Comics)	8	10-07-2004 09:55 PM
My Wife...	LordKathen	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	23	01-25-2003 11:22 AM
A husband and wife	John D Harris	General Discussion	2	11-15-2001 09:57 AM
Wife V. BG2	puzzled	Baldurs Gate II Archives	19	02-07-2001 11:40 AM