It could happen!!!!

[Arvon]

This more serious than humor...Think of the way courts and governments have been going the last few years.

The Dangers of Eating Bread

A recent newspaper headline read, "Smell of baked bread may be health hazard." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone.

I was horrified. When are we going to do something about bread-induced global warming? Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread? Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice....

THE FINDINGS

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average person eats more bread than that in one month!

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after only two days.

PROPOSED RESTRICTIONS

Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. No advertising of bread within 1000 feet of a school.

3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

5. A $40.2 billion fine on the three biggest bread manufacturers.

[Kakero]

LOL. You've been eating too much bread Arvon. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Loudhy]

Unbelievable !

The next step will be:

The industry says:
We will force genetic science to develop bread without this organic components. That will save the atmoshere.

They think :
We will earn more profit and maximize the winnings [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img] , even if it eventually later kills some humans by new illnesses !

[img]graemlins/monster5.gif[/img]

[ 01-15-2004, 08:24 AM: Message edited by: Loudhy ]

[JrKASperov]

Above all of this, bread is disgusting... the dry, tasteless, hard-to-eat substance...yegh..

[Jorath Calar]

Are you kidding, Beer is liquid bread... ergo bread is good... [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Rokenn]

Stay back coppers!
I have a baguette and I'm not afraid to use it!

[Bozos of Bones]

Getting a bit high on the bread there, eh guys?

[Raistlin Majere]

Oh my god! Ive never taken anything addictive(i dont consider alcohol addictive. Those whom supposedly get addicted, just dont have anything better to do... ), so i guess ill have to stop eating bread before its too late!(theyll probably start attacking sandwiches next... [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] )

[ 01-15-2004, 12:59 PM: Message edited by: Raistlin Majere ]

[Intrepid]

Originally posted by Arvon: A recent newspaper headline read, "Smell of baked bread may be health hazard." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone.

and in Australia cows are the second largest (first is power production) producer of greenhouse gas emitions (methane gas in their case) which is contributing to global warming, hey i'm with Arvon, while there there they should also outlaw cows [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Ironic really, baking bread destroyes ozone (O3) and jet engines produce it and improve the ozone layer

[T/-/alali]

Ahh! I just ate a bunch of buttered bread and PBJ's! Suck it outta me quick, before I mutate!