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Old 08-27-2002, 07:44 PM   #1
Evil Al
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WASHINGTON, DC—After nearly three decades in exile, King William IV returned to the U.S. to reclaim his throne Monday.


Above: King William IV greets his subjects upon his return to Washington.
"Good people of America," said the newly restored monarch, speaking from a White House balcony. "Let the word be spread throughout the land that your king has returned."

"Prepare a feast!" added His Majesty amid a fanfare of trumpets.

Citizens were overjoyed by the monarchic restoration.

"Huzzah!" said Diane Sowell of State College, PA. "At long last, we are rid of that corrupt, antiquated system of government known as democracy, a system that has done nothing but maintain the status quo of political inequality, economic stagnation, and social injustice. Our good king will change all that."

Overthrown in 1973 by democratic extremists, King William fled to the Mediterranean island of Malta, where he had lived for the past 29 years. Throughout his time in exile, the king closely monitored the political climate in America, waiting for the right moment to return. When word of the Sept. 11 attacks reached him, he decided he could wait no longer. Assembling a small traveling party, he set sail across the Atlantic to reclaim his throne.

On Aug. 20, following a months-long, detour-filled odyssey over land and sea, the king and his traveling companions arrived at Annapolis, MD, where he revealed his true identity to a naval detachment and persuaded it to accompany him to Washington. As the royal entourage neared the capital, word spread that the long-deposed monarch was on his way back. By the time William reached the D.C. city limits Monday, an estimated 400,000 elated supporters had amassed along the banks of the Potomac River to show their support for the bloodless coup.

"My devoted subjects, the time has come to right a great wrong so many years old," the sovereign told the cheering crowd. "Scores remain to be settled and, in time, all will receive their due. But for now, let the word go forth that your king is come."

Marching up the National Mall flanked by a 2,500-unit regiment of loyalist troops, King William entered the National Archives, where he smashed a display case with his wooden staff and retook the crown, scepter, and red-white-and-blue ermine robes of his office.

The king then stormed into the Capitol building, the former site of the Royal Aviary, and announced his return, formally dissolving Congress by royal decree. He ordered all legislators to return to their homes, with the exception of Sen. Strom Thurmond (R-SC), whom the king locked in the royal dungeon for his role in the 1973 ouster.

According to a spokesman for King William, the 50 state governors will be permitted to retain their posts under the revised title of Lord until further notice from the Crown. President Bush will also be allowed to retain his title, though he will function in a figurehead capacity with no real power.

Buoyed by the news of the restored constitutional monarchy, the Dow Jones soared past 14,000 Monday. Minutes after the closing bell, however, the resurrected Ministry of Finance closed down the stock market, announcing that the generosity of the Royal Treasury will provide for all.

Beltway pundits see the restoration as a welcome development.

"Under democracy, millions of needy Americans slipped through the cracks," McLaughlin Group commentator Eleanor Clift said. "King William will, by God's grace, see all monies fairly distributed, and the truly deserving will be helped."

Chris Matthews, host of MSNBC's Hardball, applauded the king's return but questioned some of his policies. "As much as I support welfare reform," Matthews said, "replacing it with a nationwide network of debtor's prisons, as His Majesty plans, strikes me as a little extreme. Still, it can't be much worse than what we've had."

"Our nation is whole once more," said King William, speaking from his horse-drawn carriage during a procession down Pennsylvania Avenue. "God save the king of these good United States of America."

This of course is a load of rubbish. But what do you think? Would America be a better place if it was a monarchy? Would you like to see it as a monarchy like we brits have (no power but the tourists love it.) Or an all powerful ruler of the country that the only way to get rid of him is to kill him. Do you think its would be easier than all the talking round in circles that democratic governments do?
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Old 08-27-2002, 07:59 PM   #2
skywalker
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We already have a King George!

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Old 08-27-2002, 08:06 PM   #3
Evil Al
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Ah yes, King George the soon to be King of Iraq with his humble page (or bitch) Tony as his foot stool. Will sally forth and steal the oil that is rightfully not ours in his great wisdom. All hail King George!
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Old 08-27-2002, 08:10 PM   #4
AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe
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Things have gotten pretty bad the way they are now, but other than communism I can't think of a better political system in theory. Communism doesn't work in a realistic/national setting so, I guess we are stuck with what we got.
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Old 08-27-2002, 08:14 PM   #5
johnny
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I think it's fine just the way it is. Kings and queens are not of this day and age anymore. I just hope they soon come to their senses overhere, and kick our royal family to the pavement. It's of no use at all, and costs a shitload of money to keep all the appearances up. Money that could be spent in a far better way.
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Old 08-27-2002, 08:28 PM   #6
Evil Al
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Hmm, I'm going to have to disagree. I think the royal family is a good thing. It brings in the tourists and it gives the country character. I'm not sure if many people would agree. I live in what must be the most anti-royalist part of Britian. Our offcials are mainly from the Scotish National Party. Their main aim is to make Scotland independant from England, Walse and Northen Ireland.
For those of you that don't know, Scotland has two parilments, the Scotish parliment and the British Parilment. When the SNP members are sworn in they say the pledge of alligence cause they have to (often with a closed fist) and make another one saying they didn't mean the first one! Were as in Ireland Shin Fien (Wrong I know) refuse to take the plege out of protest and don't sit in London. To me thats a better protest than lying. Personally I don't get Nationalism, the royal family is after all more of Scotish desent than of English (then again, its more German and Greek than anything). But do do like the idea of having a head of state like the Queen. A quote that comes to mind is "For Queen and Country". It sounds a lot better than "For me and country".
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Old 08-27-2002, 08:41 PM   #7
The Hierophant
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Quote:
Originally posted by AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe:
Things have gotten pretty bad the way they are now, but other than communism I can't think of a better political system in theory. Communism doesn't work in a realistic/national setting so, I guess we are stuck with what we got.
Sure it works. Just depends on what your definition of it is, and how many people are seriously willing to commit to it [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 08-27-2002, 08:49 PM   #8
The Hierophant
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Quote:
Originally posted by Evil Al:
Hmm, I'm going to have to disagree. I think the royal family is a good thing. It brings in the tourists and it gives the country character. I'm not sure if many people would agree. I live in what must be the most anti-royalist part of Britian. Our offcials are mainly from the Scotish National Party. Their main aim is to make Scotland independant from England, Walse and Northen Ireland.
For those of you that don't know, Scotland has two parilments, the Scotish parliment and the British Parilment. When the SNP members are sworn in they say the pledge of alligence cause they have to (often with a closed fist) and make another one saying they didn't mean the first one! Were as in Ireland Shin Fien (Wrong I know) refuse to take the plege out of protest and don't sit in London. To me thats a better protest than lying. Personally I don't get Nationalism, the royal family is after all more of Scotish desent than of English (then again, its more German and Greek than anything). But do do like the idea of having a head of state like the Queen. A quote that comes to mind is "For Queen and Country". It sounds a lot better than "For me and country".
Heh heh, maybe you're right. Seemingly worthless figureheads/institutions often show their value AFTER they have been done away with (a primary example of which being the democratic Reichstag in 1920s/30s Germany. It seemed frustratingly inneffectual but once Hitler took power and started carving sh*t up people harkened back to the good ol' days of Democracy, go figure).
Possibly one of the best things about living over in a colony like New Zealand is that you get sufficient distance from alot of the political, jingoist hullaballoo that seems to rock the rest of the world. But if you are keen for some fast-paced action you can hop on a plane and get yourself a working visa in one of the larger Nations for a year or two. It's great. Peace and Quiet, but action if you really want it.
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Old 08-27-2002, 08:55 PM   #9
Gabrielles blades
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just some tidbits
america is a republic not a democracy
and all governments have their downsides
i think id havta say no to a monarchy tho even if it had no power as in the one of great brittain, they are after all just a normal family who gets to spend everyones money without having to work for it right?
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Old 08-27-2002, 09:08 PM   #10
Evil Al
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gabrielles blades:
just some tidbits
america is a republic not a democracy
and all governments have their downsides
i think id havta say no to a monarchy tho even if it had no power as in the one of great brittain, they are after all just a normal family who gets to spend everyones money without having to work for it right?
They pay taxes here like everyone else. Now they don't get a share of Britians income. They get some for making public appearances. I really don't see the problem in having a royal family, after all, I bet some soccer players get payed more than them.
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