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Old 01-19-2005, 10:29 PM   #1
LordKathen
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Join Date: September 15, 2002
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Hey guys, whats up? I am having a block. I need to come up with four small introduction paragraphs and conclusion paragraphs, for four "thesis statements" I already did last week. If anyone can help me with this, I would greatly appreciate it. It is due tomarrow. I waited as long as I could before asking for help...

These are them:

1. Book censorship needs to be abolished due to infringement of freedom of speech rights, the limits on artistic expression and education.

2. A two year community college is beneficial to the "blue collar" worker who wants to get a higher education, because of the course and program selection offered.

3. Group thereapy is an outstanding approach to helping people with various issues, due to the microcosm affect of the group, and the interventions that may occur.

4. A military draft should not be utilized because we need to stay a free country with the right to not join the military, and an armed force in war that is all voluntery will have a higher moral, and fight better as a unit.

PLEASE NOTE: These were assigned topics I wrote the thesis statements on, and not nessecarily my opinion.

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Old 01-20-2005, 12:52 AM   #2
Bungleau
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A lot depends on your supporting points, but here are a couple of thoughts...

Quote:
Originally posted by LordKathen:
Hey guys, whats up? I am having a block. I need to come up with four small introduction paragraphs and conclusion paragraphs, for four "thesis statements" I already did last week. If anyone can help me with this, I would greatly appreciate it. It is due tomarrow. I waited as long as I could before asking for help...

These are them:

1. Book censorship needs to be abolished due to infringement of freedom of speech rights, the limits on artistic expression and education.

Nathan Hale said it best when he said "I disagree with what you say, but I will defend your right to say it". That belief that noone could put down the voice of dissent led to the rise of our great country. Sadly, today there are those who would censor books, removing people's ability to be heard, and preventing the next generation of statesmen, artists, teachers, and scientists from expanding upon the great things our nation has brought forth.

As we've discussed, censoring books leads to the censoring of thoughts and ideas, preventing us from identifying and weeding out those things which are detrimental to our people as a whole. It ensures that our country will stagnate for the foreseeable future. Only by allowing those who disagree to be heard can we ensure that our country continues to grow and expand.


2. A two year community college is beneficial to the "blue collar" worker who wants to get a higher education, because of the course and program selection offered.

In today's global economy, everyone is one step away from being replaced by a cheaper alternative someplace else. Only by expanding your value, the knowledge you offer, can you hope to remain competitive in tomorrow's job market. For those who work in traditional blue-collar jobs, expanding their knowledge to remain competitive is increasingly difficult, and programs such as today's two-year community colleges assist them in increasing their skills and value.

AS we've discussed, the world is moving other places. The only way for today's workers to remain employed in high-paying positions is for them to increase their skills and knowledge, and a tool as simple and powerful as a two year community college can help them get there.


3. Group thereapy is an outstanding approach to helping people with various issues, due to the microcosm affect of the group, and the interventions that may occur.

4. A military draft should not be utilized because we need to stay a free country with the right to not join the military, and an armed force in war that is all voluntery will have a higher moral, and fight better as a unit.

PLEASE NOTE: These were assigned topics I wrote the thesis statements on, and not nessecarily my opinion.

Sorry... it's late and I've just finished a quote for a customer. Hopefully these two help a bit.
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Old 01-20-2005, 01:03 AM   #3
Aelia Jusa
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As a general rule, an introductory paragraph to an essay should start with a general sentence introducing the topic broadly. Then go a bit narrower as to what your essay will be talking about specifically. For example, with the group therapy question you might start with a sentence about therapy in general, then talk about the application to groups. Then, you define any terms that are particularly important, or you are using in a way that is a little different to usual, e.g., you might define exactly what a blue collar worker is. Then, you talk about why the topic is relevant to discuss - for the military draft one you might say that because the US is involved in more conflict than ever lately, the topic of a draft is of particular interest. Next, give your thesis statement. Finally, your last sentence is a brief outline of what points your essay will cover.

Your conclusion sumamrises all the general points you made in the essay and why they served to support your argument (thesis statement). You don't introduce any new information in the conclusion. Be concise but your conclusion needs to stand alone, that is someone could read your conclusion and know what was discussed in the essay and why you have argued your point successfully. Your last sentence should broaden out your essay again to why the topic is applicable in the real world.

Hope that helped [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 01-20-2005, 01:13 AM   #4
Ilander
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1) When you have writer's block, write "The" as your first word. Strange as it may seem, that can help.

2) When writing an opening paragraph in a persuasive piece/informational piece, I like to start with a very rudimentary background, introduce my thesis, and then introduce my defense of said thesis. Keep the ellaboration low, and don't say all that much about your arguments, as they're for the rest of the piece.

3) The conlusion should be very similar to the opening, but with a sense of urgency added.

Really, though, the introduction of the question your thesis purportedly answers is the most important aspect of the introductory paragraph. The most important aspect of the conclusion paragraph is it's finality. In other words, you have to leave no doubt that you are right, and tug on every string you set out in the rest of the paper.
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Old 01-20-2005, 01:21 AM   #5
Lucern
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A couple of things, neither especially meaningful nor helpful

On three. effect is a noun, and should replace affect.

I started to do 4...
4. Sociologist Max Weber's work contributed to the idea that the state has a monopoly on violence. When a nation conscripts its citizens into military service,

But then I realized how much I use the context of the piece to write an introduction. The first sentence, for example, could be completely inappropriate to the rest of the work. Besides, working that into your points would take some dexterity that I don't have at the moment lol. Maybe it'll give you an idea at least.

If not, Bungleau has done half of it anyway hehe.
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Old 01-20-2005, 03:24 AM   #6
LordKathen
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Thank you very much, Bungleau!
And the rest of you for replying! Its actually kinda wierd, as soon as I posted this thread, it started comin to me! Kinda like raising your hand in class for the teacher and as soon as she gets there you know the answer...
I did use your college one Bungleau, thanks again.

BTW, do any of you use MS Works Word Processor?
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Old 01-20-2005, 05:32 AM   #7
Lucern
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I used to use works. I think it's the toned down version of Word.

I've found a program that makes them equally irrelevent though [img]smile.gif[/img]

It's called Open Office, a free office suite that does everything Microsoft's progs do, only with more compatibility options. Oh, and in case you missed the minor detail, it's FREE!

http://www.sun.com/software/star/openoffice/

Worth a look into next time one of the other programs gives you trouble, you suffer a reformat and don't have the cds at hand, or you're just bored.
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Old 01-20-2005, 11:21 AM   #8
Bungleau
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No worries, LK [img]smile.gif[/img]

BTW, I just checked, and my initial quote should be attributed to Voltaire, and not Nathan Hale. At least, I think... since no one apparently ever said it

click here for someone else's research into it.
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Old 01-20-2005, 02:59 PM   #9
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Ooooh, for number 3, mention the Metallica movie!
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